


Beyond the Cloud of Smoke

by fryzyz



Category: Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party - Fandom, Youtube Gaming, youtube - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Weed, acoustic, lounge singer, singer - Freeform, stoner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-01-11 05:52:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 66,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18424194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fryzyz/pseuds/fryzyz
Summary: Amber Thill works daily at a small diner in a town on the outskirts of New Jersey, and on a Thursday night she performs acoustic covers of not-so-popular songs at the local lounge. When a particular curly-haired Jewish man comes in one random Thursday night and watches her performance, her life unexpectedly begins to shift.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! Welcome to this little thing I decided to write!
> 
> I had this idea stuck in my head for a while, about Dan meeting a hippie sort of lounge singer and this is what came out of it! The total song list will be right at the end for anyone who wants it, and a link to the spotify playlist will be there as well!
> 
> Also, straight off the bat, I wanna say that I DO NOT WANT PEOPLE TO THINK I AM DISRESPECTING DAN AND ASHLEY'S RELATIONSHIP! I very much support them and am very happy for them. This is only a work of fiction that my mind just wouldn't let go of. If you don't like it, don't read it. Simple as that.
> 
> Anyway, thank you for checking this out, and I hope you enjoy the story of Amber and Dan!

Pinks, purples and oranges swirled around the evening sky like they were entwined in an intimate dance. They moved together and apart, crossed between each other and created unique shades that I couldn’t even begin to describe. The sunsets were one of the best things in the small town of Gern, situated a good number of miles north of New Jersey. It was warm, cozy and intimate. Everyone knew everyone, which wasn’t surprising considering there were just upwards of a thousand residents here.

I inhaled the last of my joint and blew the smoke out in front of me, feeling the relaxation wash over me like a wave. To anyone else, taking a joint before a performance was the worst decision one could make. However; for me, a joint calmed my nerves while still helping me maintain enough attention to play and sing my songs. It was a good balance, as long as I only had one for the whole afternoon.

A local I recognised rode past me on their bike and gave me a wave. I smiled lazily at them and returned the gesture. Another amazing thing about Gern was how nice everyone was and how open they were. That was the main reason I lived there.

Back in Brooklyn, anyone who didn’t conform to society’s standards of living and being was considered an outcast. That was me. I didn’t try to get back in contact with my family after they kicked me out. I didn’t need to. I had a family here; metaphorically, anyway. They were more accepting of me than my own family ever were.

I got up from my spot on the sidewalk and made my way to The Monarch Lounge. The door creaked as I swung it open, guitar case in my hand. The smell of beer and old wood filled my nose as I entered and I sighed. I’d never get tired of that glorious combination of scents.

“Evening, Amber.” I heard Ollie yell from the back.

“Evening, Ollie.” I replied as I made my way over to the stage at the back of the lounge to set up for my performance.

Ollie was the owner of The Monarch Lounge and had been running it for close to twenty years. He was nearing 50 and had specks of grey peeking through his short, black hair. With his dress style, being mostly leather jackets and denim pants, he looked closer to my age than late 40’s.

I grabbed my stool and the microphone stand from the right of the stage and brought them onto the platform. I situated the stool slightly off centre to the left and placed the microphone stand in front of me, adjusting the height until it was level with me. I checked the notes of my guitar and smiled when I strummed and the strings were all in tune.

“‘Ey Flamo.”

I tied my yellow bandana in a knot on the top of my head, giving a nod to the familiar face walking in the door. A smile fell onto my face instinctually as I looked at my watch. Right on time.

“Hey Bruiser. How’s the wife?” I shouted back from the stage. It was the same gig here on Thursday nights: I’d get in right when before they opened; their guard, Bruce, would come in seven minutes after me. It was always seven, even when I was running late. It was kind of spooky.

On the outside, with his Togan decent, Bruiser was a big guy with his arms covered in Islander tattoos and donned with a shiny, bald head. But on the inside, he was the sweetest little marshmallow I’d ever met and gave me the warmest hugs I’d ever received from anyone.

“Always smiling.” He responded and I looked up to mirror the grin I already knew he was wearing. As usual, he was making his way over to me with a ginger and lemon martini, which I just called lemontini, for me and a water for him. He knew it was my favourite cocktail and that I always craved one before my gig. Due to this long-standing tradition we had of weekly catch ups, I would always wait for him to arrive so he could bring it over to me. 

I grabbed the drink from him with a ‘thank you’ and I bit into the lemon slice. My face instinctively scrunched up, but I liked eating it. It would put the taste buds on high alert and make the drink taste better, in my opinion.

“So when are you making your move, huh?” He asked.

An eyebrow rose slowly at him as I took a hefty sip of my cocktail. God, did Scotty know how to make a lemontini.

“This is diverging off our usual conversation routine.” I joked.

“I know, I know,” Bruiser smiled up at me. “We’ll get back to the usual stuff after you answer me.”

I swirled the liquor around in my glass. “I don’t know what you’re talking about ‘making my move’.”

“Oh, you know I know. Even a blind person could spot your heart eyes for Sarah from a mile away.” Bruiser teased.

I scoffed, looking to the nearby window on my right. “I do not have ‘heart eyes’ for Sarah.” I sighed softly. “I simply admire her kindness and bubbly attitude.”

He nodded exaggeratedly, obviously not believing me. “Sure thing, Flamo.”

With a playful roll of my eyes, I said, “Once upon a time, I did. How couldn’t I? She was like an angel that the gods in the sky had blessed this disgusting earth with just to see if she could redeem the crappiness we had made of it.” I looked up smiled at Bruiser fondly, almost sadly. “But time has passed. Too much time. It’s too late now. And that’s okay.”

Bruiser nodded softly before quickly switching topics. He proceeded to ask me about my week and continue with our regularly scheduled catch up. He really was a gentle giant, wanting nothing but the best from everyone in his life.

“Good luck with tonight.” He finished up as he gulped down the remainder of his water, the first of the customers starting to filter in right at eight on the dot.

“I won’t need it.” I said smoothly, just as I did every time he wished me luck, and sent a wink in his direction.

“I know.” He replied, crumpling his water bottle and throwing it into the bin nearby.

He made his way to his spot beside the door for the night and I watched his persona change in a split second. His expression hardened and his bulky arms crossed over his puffed out chest. I watched with amusement as the unfamiliar faces looked intimidated by him when they saw him, while the more familiar customers managed to coax a smile out of him.

I waved to Ricky and his girlfriend, Jamie, when they walked in. His iconic, bright, yellow hair made him very hard to miss whenever he walked into the lounge, though his laugh was just as hard to miss even among a loud crowd. He certainly wasn’t the shy, introverted type and was always looking for a new pal each Thursday, when he’d come to The Monarch to watch me sing and play.

Ricky was the first friend I made when I started my lounge singer gig at The Monarch Lounge. He gave me a compliment on my singing, bought me a drink and we really hit it off. He was the one who introduced me to lemontinis and if there’s one thing I’m grateful for in this world, it’s lemontinis.

When I caught his attention, he quickly made his way way toward me with Jamie hot on his heels.

“Nice frock. Where’d you get it, the old ladies home?” Ricky remarked with a chuckle. Jamie hit his chest gently and gasped, though she knew he was only playing around. Not that insults really affected me, anyway.

“I got it from your mother’s wardrobe, actually.” I retorted, examining my sandals from underneath the curtain of my floral dress skirt. “That’s so rude to say about your own mother. I’m disappointed in you, Rick.”

“Well it looks better on her than you.” He winked as he took my empty martini glass from beside the stool I was sitting on. “Plus, stealing is bad. I could call the police on you for such a crime. The fashion police, I mean. Because…have I mentioned that dress is gross looking?”

“Good thing I don’t care for a male’s opinion, huh Rick?” I countered with a grin, laughing at Jamie’s inability to hold in a snort. Rick gave a satisfied nod.

“Alright. I’ll let you have that one.” He leaned slightly closer toward me. “We’ll catch up after the performance, yeah?”

“Always.” I nodded, waving to them as they took their usual seats in the two plush chairs, positioned three sets away from the right-most set up.

“Amber!” I heard Sarah from across the room and smiled to her as she made her way over to me. My heart skyrocketed in beats per minute until I was almost sure it was humming in my chest. She firmly planted her hands on the small stage with a rather loud ‘bang’, which made some people turn and look at her momentarily before returning to their conversations.

Sarah didn’t come nearly as often as I wished for her to. She made it whenever she could make the time for it, but being a full-time nurse barely left her enough time to do anything outside of work and sleep. But she enjoyed what she did and she managed to make time to come out for these performances, which really touched my heart.

I planted my hands on my thighs, mocking the movement she just did on the stage just by my feet. “Sarah!”

“It’s been forever!” She said excitedly, slamming her hands on the stage again and causing an even louder sound. More people turned this time, so I slid off the stool and knelt in front of her, placing my hands over hers to stop them from moving again.

“You gotta stop doing that, Blondie.” I sighed, shaking my head with a smile.

She looked at me innocently. “Sorry. But it’s been over two months since I was last able to make it to one of these and guess what?” Her eyes brightened, her grin growing in size. “They gave me a week off! I’ll get to hang out with you for a whole flipping week!”

I smiled at her, patting her hand that rested underneath mine. “That sounds amazing, baby cakes. I expect us to be baking some goods when you come over.”

Sarah pouted. “But you’ll burn the house down.”

My jaw dropped and I slapped her hand. “How dare you! My cooking is at least mediocre, thank you very much.”

“That’s what you think.” Sarah mumbled under her breath, earning a huff from me.

“Just go sit down.” I said with a grin, pushing her away from me. I looked up and found Bruiser staring at me with a cocked brow. I mirrored his expression and even tilted my head at him. He was he one to break off our stare down once Ollie appeared and gave him a friendly pat on the back.

Once Ollie gave me the thumbs up, I picked up my guitar. I strummed the G-note, and the audience silenced themselves in a matter of seconds. They knew that was my signal to start.

“Good evening, royal subjects.” I began with a laugh, earning a murmur of replies. “For those of you who are new around here, my name is Amber Thill, and I hope you all have a magnificent Thursday evening.”

Multiple locals let out hollers including Ricky, who everyone recognised and greeted with a murmur. He gave them a short wave and a smile before their attention was back on me.

“Ah yes. Ricky Martinez, stealing the show as usual.” I joked, earning a chuckle from the crowd and a smirk from Rick. He gestured his glass up to me with a wink and I gave him a nod.

“Alright everyone,” I strummed the G-note again, a smirk on my face, “Let’s rock this palace.”


	2. Chapter 2

The next Thursday came by quickly, with the previous weekend having been spent with Sarah at her house watching TV and cooking brownies. I may or may not have spiked half the batch and scored some delicious Sarah-made weed brownies for my own consumption, but we’ll leave that as a mystery.

The first few songs in my performance for the night had been met with applause and cheers, to which I had thanked the crowd for numerous times. During the applause after my third song, I strummed the G-note and everyone quietened down.

“You all have been an amazing crowd tonight. Thank you all so much.”

The door swung open and I watched as an unfamiliar figure walked in. The stranger’s face was framed by a mane of curls, reaching to just above his shoulders. He had a few days worth of scruff on his cheeks and donned a leather jacket and worn jeans. The shirt he wore underneath the jacket was a ‘Rush’ tour shirt with a pentagram in the middle.

He took his seat at the bar and, after brushing his hair out of his face, looked up in my direction. We made eye contact and his small smile grew noticeably. I found his grin infectious and couldn’t hold back the smile that grew on my own face.

“This last song I’ll perform for you tonight is an acoustic rendition of Jenny by the Studio Killers.”

I began to strum the song, letting my eyes close as my head swayed to the slow rhythm. I heard the soft hum of a few conversations, but other than that it was quiet. The audience always were when I sang. I found it rather sweet of them.

“Jenny darlin’, you’re my best friend.” I opened my eyes and scanned the crowd, making eye contact with some of the unfamiliar faces. I felt my heart swell every time they smiled at me and each time, felt my own smile widen slightly at their reaction.

“But there’s a few things that you don’t know of.” I looked up at the stranger at the bar, finding his full attention to be on me. His hand held a full glass of beer and I watched his finger tap along to the slow, steady rhythm I was strumming.

“Why I borrow your lipstick so often…” I looked to the crowd again, this time searching for the familiar faces in the crowd. I watched them sway slightly with the rhythm, their eyes locked on me.

“I’m usin’ your shirt as a pillow case…” This time, I looked up to Bruiser. He was beaming at me, as he always did when I performed. I grinned at him and strummed the last note for the verse, before pointing over to him. “Everyone give it up for Bruce the bodyguard!”

The locals whooped and applauded while the unfamiliars joined in with the applause with confusion. Bruce rolled his eyes with a smaller smile on his lips, shaking his head at me. I laughed softly and tapped my hand against my guitar to count down to the chorus. By the fourth and final tap, the crowd was quiet once more. I began to strum the chorus and inhaled to sing.

“I wanna ruin our friendship,” I glanced up and scanned the familiar audience before me, giving Ricky a grin as I passed by him. My eyes landed back on the curly haired stranger, his attention still wholly on me. He held me captive in his gaze and I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him.

“We should be lovers instead.” I dragged the words out a little longer than they should have been. There was something about that man that made me want to sing forever, only to him. His eyebrows shot up only for a moment before a grin stretched out on his face. I felt a flame set alight in my chest and winked smoothly at him.

“I don’t know how to say this, ‘cause you’re really my dearest friend.” I tore my gaze away from him and found Sarah again in the audience. My heart fluttered when she smiled at me. Even with weed in my system, she knew how to make my nerves stand on end.

I looked down at my guitar, focusing on the strings I played as I strummed the riff, plucking a couple of the strings along the way to add some flavour to it. I closed my eyes again, pressing my mouth up to the microphone.

“Oh, your love for them won’t last long.” I took a deep, quiet breath from my nose as I continued strumming, feeling the words coming from my heart rather than my head.

“Oh, your love for them won’t last…forget those amigos.” On the last word, I stopped playing and held the vocal note for a few moments. When I stopped, there were numerous cheers from members of the audience, which made my smile widen. I began strumming the chords for the chorus again as I closed my eyes once more.

“I wanna ruin our friendship. We should be lovers instead. I don’t know how to say this, ‘cause you’re really my dearest friend.” I finished off by repeating the riff for the chorus and finishing the last note by letting it linger for a moment.

Soon after, the room erupted in cheers and applause. I bowed my head in thanks, though their cheering only grew in volume. I looked up, my gaze automatically going to the stranger at the bar. He was giving me a standing ovation, even cupping his hands around his mouth and yelling a single “Woo!”.

“Thank you everyone.” I said, letting the guitar sit comfortably in my lap. “I really appreciate your support. I love you guys.”

“We love you, Amber!” Sarah shouted, to which I blew her a kiss with a grin. It only took a few moments before everyone went back to their conversations and, as usual, Ricky greeted me by the side of the stage with Sarah close behind him.

“Nice work out there.” Ricky praised, causing Sarah to nod frantically in agreement.

“You were amazing, Ambs!”

“Naw, you guys.” I chuckled, pulling them both in for a hug. “I think I’m gonna hang around here for a little longer. I’ll see you next week, Ricky?”

He gave me a finger gun and a wink. “You know it. See you then.”

I could feel my heart picking up to an uncomfortably fast pace and knew I needed a drink soon. A joint would be easier, but I only used marijuana to calm my nerves when it was needed. I never had one after a performance because I had never needed one.

Until tonight.

Sarah gave me a warm smile and hugged me again. “We’ll catch up again soon, yeah?” She said, to which I nodded. Sarah was due back at the hospital the following week, which meant I wouldn’t get to see her as often again. I felt a heaviness in my heart at the realisation of that, but plastered on a smile for her sake.

“Of course.”

“Sweet.” She held my gaze for a moment longer before pressing a quick kiss to my cheek, practically bolting away afterwards like a nervous girl in front of her crush. I gingerly touched the spot where her lips made contact with my skin and felt my entire face heat up.

“Damn it Sarah,” I mumbled to myself, “Just when I thought I was over you…”

After packing up my things and putting them in the back room, I sat down at the bar and Scotty, the bartender, glanced up at me with a small smile.

“The usual?” He asked.

I shook my head. “I just need a breather for a second, Scott. I’ll call for ya when I feel like the zest.”

Scotty gave an understanding nod before turning to the next customer. He was the only one who knew about my stage fright because he’d been the first one to catch me smoking before a performance. Not only that, but he related to the whole anxiety thing too. That made conversing with him a lot easier whenever we got the chance.

“You perform here regularly?” A male’s voice asked from my right. I turned my head to find the curly haired stranger taking a sip from his beer.

I had always been hesitant to strike up conversations with men after my performances in case they tried to make a move on me. Each man who wanted to talk to me always had the sole intention of getting into my pants and I could tell pretty early on in our conversation when his eyes would drift down toward my chest and his hand would start lingering on my skin.

However, this one had…I couldn’t even begin to describe what it was. It was like an aura. A calming, friendly, good-natured aura that was cast on him like a beam of sunlight. Something in the back of my mind told me that he was just there for a friendly conversation, and I listened.

I nodded. “Every Thursday at least. Sometimes I come here because I like the drinks they make.”

“Yeah? Which one’s your favourite?”

I cocked my eyebrow up at him. “I don’t know if you’ll like it.”

He gave me a determined smile. “It takes a lot for me to not like something.”

With a shrug, I asked Scotty to make us up two lemontinis. He made them and gave them to us. I took the lemon and bit into it, scrunching my face up.

“Eating the lemon ain’t needed to enjoy the drink, but it helps.” I told him.

With a nod, the stranger took the lemon slice and bit into it. He started to cough from the intensity and turned his head away from the drink to cough into his arm. He then turned back to me, eyes watery from coughing, with a grin on his face.

“I love it!”

I couldn’t help but laugh and was pleased when he joined in as well. His laugh was rather adorable, I had to say. He even finished it with a little snort.

The stranger stuck his hand out to me. “I’m Danny.”

I glanced down at his hand and smiled, gripping onto it and giving it a gentle shake. Yep, he was definitely a good one.

“Amber.” I took a sip of my lemontini, humming contently as the flavour burst in my mouth. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around here.”

“Oh, yeah I’m not from here.” Danny said, “I have a few friends who live up this way. I just drove here from New Jersey, but I live in L.A. at the moment.”

My eyebrows shot up. “Wow. That’s…high class.”

What could he have moved to L.A. for? Acting? Modelling? Legalisation of weed? All of the above?

“What do you do over there?” I asked him.

“I, uh…” He scratched the back of his neck. “I’m a singer, actually. My friend, Brian, and I…we have a band.”

“Really?” A singer? I should have guessed. He looked like he was plucked straight from the 80’s with that long hair and leather jacket. “What’s the name?”

“Ah…” He chuckled nervously, “You won’t laugh will you?”

I cocked my head. Now I was intrigued. “No way. Promise.”

With a defeated sigh, he spurted out a name that I found odd, yet fitting, for what I envisioned him making.

“Ninja Sex Party?” I repeated with a nod. “Sounds like a blast. What type of stuff do you sing?”

“Comedy stuff mostly. Well…’comedy’,” Danny put air quotes around the word ‘comedy’, “Starting to branch out into doing covers, too. 70’s and 80’s rock ballads. The real iconic one-shots, you know?”

“That sounds amazing.” I said. “Y’know they do karaoke here on Friday nights. I might do it tomorrow…you should do it, too.”

Danny glanced up at me with surprise on his face. “Yeah?”

“Why not? It’s all for fun anyway. Besides, then I’ll get to hear you sing.” I gave him a wink. “It’s only fair, right?”

He laughed softly. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right.”

I took the last sip of my lemontini before looking down at my hands again. Still shaking. Damn it.

I needed a joint and fast.

“I, uh…gotta go. Things to do, stuff to see….”

“Oh, yeah of course. Sorry if I’m holding you up or anything.” He sounded genuinely apologetic, which only made me feel bad for lying. But honestly; what kind of high class, L.A. residing, ‘80s looking, cute guy would want to hang around with a hippie stoner who makes her living working at a diner and singing acoustic renditions of songs she likes in a lounge?

“No, no it’s fine.” I said, brushing him off. “Hey, maybe I’ll see you around?”

“I’m sure you will.” Danny said with a grin. “I’ll see you ‘round.”

I grinned at him before leaving the lounge and taking a left. I then took another left into the alleyway and took one of my pre-rolled joints from my pocket, placing it between my lips and lighting it.

I inhaled the contents deeply, holding my breath for a moment before blowing the smoke out into the night sky. My thoughts drifted to Sarah. The kiss she left me on my cheek, the flutters I felt in my chest when I looked at her smile. Then they drifted to Danny. How his full attention was on me during my entire performance and how he acted so kindly to me while we spoke; kinder than any man I’d ever met.

Though even with my thoughts whirling through my head, all I did was watch silently. I was entranced as the smoke from my joint swirled upwards, towards it’s freedom in the stars.


	3. Chapter 3

Friday night came around quickly and after closing Vee’s Diner at 7:30, I went straight across the road to the lounge with my duffel bag over my shoulder. I walked into the empty building, greeting Bruiser with a smile as he sipped on his bottle of water.

“Here on a Friday, hm? That’s new.”

“I’m feeling in a karaoke mood tonight.” I told him before heading into the bathroom to change from my diner’s uniform to a dark green knitted crop top and high waisted, brown pants that flared out at the bottom. I took my hair out of the ponytail I had it in for work and held my hair from my face with a thick, floral head band.

I walked out and went over to Bruiser, lifting up my bag. “Will Ollie let me keep this in the back room?

He looked at me like what I just asked was ludicrous. “Of course he will, Flamo. He’ll keep it locked up for ya.”

With a smile, I went to the back room and caught Ollie in the middle of a phone conversation. After he finished, he turned to me with a smile.

“Is it Thursday already?” He joked.

“Better grab your ear plugs, Ollie,” I gave him a wink, placing my bag on the couch by the door. “I’m gonna be doing some karaoke.”

“You?!” He blinked. “But…you can’t sing!”

I laughed and gestured to the bag with my head. “You wouldn’t mind hanging onto this for a little bit, would you?”

Ollie shook his head with a smile. “‘Course not. You’ll just have to come and grab it before closing. You know where the spare key is if you can’t find me.”

With a grateful nod, I turned and left the room. I felt my chest start to constrict painfully and reached in my pocket for my joint and my lighter. By the time I’d gotten to the alleyway, I’d already lit the cigarette and puffed out a couple breaths of smoke. I leant against the brick wall and sighed.

“Amber?”

The voice startled me and I jammed the butt of the cigarette into the wall beside me. I held back my cry of frustration at my impulsivity.

That was my last joint.

I opened my eyes and looked at the owner of the voice, biting my tongue to keep from snapping at him.

He pointed at my closed fist. “Were you smoking?”

I shook my head. “Nope.”

Danny leant toward me and took a deep breath in. To my surprise, a smile spread on his face as he exhaled.

“You weren’t, huh?” He smirked at me and I knew I’d been caught.

“It’s not like I’m addicted or anything.” I justified quickly.

Danny laughed. “You don’t have to justify yourself. I was an addict once.”

Wait, what?

“You were?” I asked dumbly. Dan shoved his hands into his jacket pockets.

“Yeah. A long time ago.” He tilted his head at me. “That makes me the last person on earth who would even think of judging you for hitting a blunt.”

I walked by Dan and put the crumpled cigarette in the rubbish bin. Stupid impulses.

“So you decided to come and do karaoke, hey?” I asked him, trying to quickly change the subject.

Danny shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. My friends didn’t want to though…they’re not really into the whole singing thing…” He paused. “I was…hoping you would be here, actually.”

I smiled at him, feeling a pleasant warmth in my chest. “Well, I hate to disappoint my fans.”

Danny’s eyes flicked to mine; I noticed the playful glint in his brown irises.

“I certainly doubt you could disappoint me.” He purred before making his way inside. I laughed it off, but I couldn’t ignore the spark I felt in my chest from his words.

After sitting down at the bar and ordering our drinks, Ollie got up on the stage and began to introduce the karaoke aspect of the night. A few volunteers got up and sang their songs, earning cheers from the customers listening.

Soon after, Ollie gave me a personal introduction; earning a round of applause from the customers who were familiar with my music. I glanced over at Dan, who simply cocked his brow at me challengingly. With a playful roll of my eyes, I got up from my barstool and made my way to the stage. I gave the crowd a small wave as I took to microphone from Ollie.

“Aren’t you guys lucky? Twice in a week, huh?” I teased them, earning a few laughs and a few cheers in return. “Alright. The song I’m going to sing tonight for you is…”

I scrolled through the choices until one stuck out to me. I smiled widely and selected it, before turning and looking at Danny.

“Somebody to Love by Queen.”

I knew my choice was a good one when Danny grinned and nodded toward me approvingly.

“Can…anybody…” I closed my eyes and pressed the microphone to my lips, feeling comfort in the metal on my skin. “Find me…” I half-opened my eyes and found Dan still wholly focussed on me. “Somebody to love?”

As the next piano part started, a small eruption of cheers came from the crowd as I nodded along.

“Each morning I get up, I die a little. Can barely stand on my feet. Take a look…in the mirror and cry…” I grinned, glancing at the faces in the crowd. “Lord what you're doing to me.”

“I’ve spent all my years in believin’ you, but I just can't get no relief, Lord!” I closed my eyes again, feeling the words coming from my heart.

“Somebody….oh, somebody…can anybody find me somebody to love?”

I nodded along to the track as it played, cheers coming from the crowd in front of me. With a grin, I pressed the microphone to my lips again as the next part came on.

“Got no feel, I got no rhythm. I just keep losing my beat.”

I looked at Danny again. His smile hadn’t dulled in the slightest. If anything, I could have sworn it had grown. “I’m OK, I'm alright…I ain't gonna face no defeat.” My eyes fluttered shut. “I just gotta get out of this prison cell. One day, I’m gonna be free, Lord!”

“Somebody….oh, somebody! Can anybody find me…” I held the last word for a moment and heard Ollie turn the backing track off. He knew my performances well enough to pick up on my ending cues.

My eyes snapped open and immediately found Dan right as I was to hit the last long note. His chin was resting on his hand as he gazed at me. I gave him a grin.

“Somebody to love?”

The word ‘love’ stretched for many seconds, gathering more and more applause as the seconds ticked by. All the while, I was looking at Dan. My brain refused to acknowledge anyone else in the room. He seemed to keep my heart at a level rate, even if I had taken part of a joint before this. The incident the previous day left me worried that my anxiety was worsening, but keeping my eyes locked on him kept me on ground zero.

That, and his infectious grin was widening with every moment I sang.

The audience cheered loudly once I was finished and I felt a blush creep onto my cheeks. I bowed a couple of times before hopping off the stage and going back to Danny at the bar.

“God, you’re incredible.” Danny breathed out, shaking his head slightly. Quickly, he added, “I, uh—your voice…i-is incredible.”

I felt that fire in my chest again and gave him a shrug. “Yeah, she’s pretty alright for an oldie.”

One of the locals got up after me and while she was belting out Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On, I elbowed Dan’s side and gestured to the stage with my head.

“You’re up next.”

Dan shook his head. “Nah. I don’t think I could follow your act up.”

“Bah, come on! It’s not like a competition. It’s all in good fun.” I said simply. The applause started after the singing finished and I cocked a brow.

After a short stare down, Danny sighed. “Alright. Only because you’re an expert convincer.”

I flipped my hair over my shoulder dramatically. “I try.”

When Ollie called for the last karaoke singer, Danny began his walk towards the stage. I heard hushed whispers among the crowd, mostly women commenting on his handsome looks. I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself.

“Hey everyone. How we doin’?” Danny asked, receiving a small chorus of cheers from the audience. He gave them a smile and a nod.

“Awesome! For the last song of the night, I will be doing…”

There was a long pause. The suspense was building with every passing moment as Danny went back and forth between two songs. I could see it; that all-too-familiar flicking back-and-forth of the eyes. Finally, he looked up from the screen and directly at me.

“Your Love by The Outfield.”

He took the microphone from Ollie with a bow of his head before taking a stance. Both his feet were shoulder width apart and his head was down. My brows furrowed and I propped my chin on my hand, curious as to what he would do.

“Josie's on a vacation far away,” His head snapped up and his eyes locked on me. I felt myself instinctually straighten my posture and cock an eyebrow at him. There was a hint of mischief in his eyes and immediately I couldn’t look away. He’d definitely performed on stage before and his confidence oozed off him.

“Come around and talk it over. So many things that I want to say…” He gave me a wink. “You know I like my girls a little bit older. I just want to use your love tonight.”

He swayed his hips, eyes closed, completely losing himself in the music. I was completely entranced by him, just like every other female in the room. Even Bruiser looked a bit starstruck by Danny’s movements.

“I don't want to lose your love tonight.”

He nodded his head along to the beat, running his hands through his hair, completely stealing the show. I heard the gushes from the women around the bar and held back my smile. Not because they were gushing over him, but because I related to what they were feeling.

This man definitely had sex appeal.

“Tryna stop my hands from shakin’…” Danny closed his eyes again. “But somethin’ in my mind's not makin’ sense. It's been a while since we were all alone…”

He looked up at me, staring straight into my soul when he sang, “But I can't hide the way I'm feelin’.”

I watched a couple of the girls turn to look at me. They didn’t even bother to hide their disgust when they both scrunched their noses up at me. I didn’t care, since they were a part of the unfamiliars and I had never seen them before. My inner child mocked their disgusted face once they turned back around and couldn’t see me. I laughed quietly to myself at my immaturity.

“As you're leaving please would you close the door?” He waggled his finger with a cheeky smile. “And don't forget what I told ya. Just because you're right that don't mean I'm wrong,” He pouted and leant his cheek against the back of his hand. “Another shoulder to cry upon.”

“I just want to use your love tonight.” He pointed at me, giving me another wink and a sway of his hips. I felt my face flush, though the dim lighting thankfully covered it.

“I don't want to lose your love tonight.”

Danny moved his body to the backing track until it faded out and a moment of silence followed. Soon, the audience burst into cheers; louder than they had for anyone else, myself included. I grinned and clapped along with a nod, watching him bow to the audience and make his way back over to me.

“Can’t follow up my act, huh?” I teased, crossing my arms.

He shrugged with a bashful smile. “I didn’t really expect that big of a reaction.”

“Me neither,” I admitted, “But ya sure as hell looked like you knew how to rile them up. Have you performed live before?”

Danny nodded. “I’ve done a few shows around the U.S. Haven’t performed any of the covers yet, though.”

“Wow.” My eyebrows shot up. “I didn’t realise you guys were so big.”

“Ah, not really.” Danny waved his hand dismissively. “We just have a very dedicated audience.”

I finished off my lemontini as the normal music of the lounge returned and the stage was empty once more. One of the girls who scrunched up her nose at me before made a beeline toward us and stood beside Danny, who was drinking his beer and minding his business.

“Your voice is like a songbird.” She said, causing him to look up in her direction. Her straight, black hair reached past her butt and her boobs were practically popping out of her low cut dress as she leant down. If she didn’t appear so fake, I might have thought she was cute.

He gave her a small, polite smile. “Thank you.”

I watched her sharp claw of a finger nail trail down his arm. “How about you and me head off somewhere and we can see what other sounds you can make?” She purred seductively, making me roll my eyes.

Glancing over with a cocked brow, I groaned. “Can’t you see he’s got company?”

Her eyebrows rose. “What? You? You’re not his type.”

“Well actually, he’s—”

“And what’s to say that you are?” Danny spoke up, no hint of emotion on his face. “I appreciate the compliment. But not only do I have company with me, but you and I are complete strangers to one another.”

At the rejection, the girl scoffed and walked off without another word. She obviously didn’t get rejected often. Why would she? She looked like a perfect barbie doll.

“Do you get that often?” I asked quietly. Dan sighed.

“Sometimes.” He glanced at me. “Do you?”

“Not from girls…” I gave him a wink.

‘Unfortunately’

“But I mean, guys have hit on me before…” I shook my head. “No. Not really, anyway. They never get the chance now that Bruiser’s a full time guard here.”

I caught his eye and gestured my glass toward him with a grin. “My knight in shining armour.” At that, he gave me a small smile. “Not just with me, either. Any poor girl at this place who looks uncomfortable with a guy gets saved by Bruce.”

Dan swallowed uncomfortably. “Have guys ever…um…”

“Thankfully not.” I cut him off. “At first, it was Bruce who didn’t let them. Now, I’m the one who tells ‘em to fuck off.”

Danny smirked at that, which made me smile in turn. We sat in silence for a short while as he finished off his beer and paid his bill. He turned to me with a sad smile and I felt my heart drop. This was when he was going to tell me he was going to leave and we’d never see each other again.

This was my chance to burst my comfort bubble and suck up whatever pride I thought I had. I opened my mouth to speak, but Danny had already started talking.

“I only have a couple more days here and, um…” He bit his lip as he looked away bashfully. I blinked. “I’d really like to stay in contact. With you. After I go back to L.A.”

After a beat of silence, I started laughing out of shock. He looked slightly disheartened and I quickly shook my head.

“I’m not laughing at you, Danny.” I proceeded to get my phone from out of my pocket. “It’s just funny that I was gonna say the same thing.”

Dan sighed, relief visibly flooding his face. I handed him my phone and he put his number in my contacts list. After grabbing my phone from off him, I soon spotted the unfamiliar contact name and smirked.

“Danny Sexbang?” I asked, looking up at him. “Is that your stage name?”

He grinned at me. “The ladies love it.”

“I’m sure they do.” I laughed. “You should have introduced yourself as that on stage. All the girls would have swooned even harder for you.”

“Would it have worked on you?” Danny asked smoothly, following it up with a wink.

I dramatically placed the back of my hand against my forehead and feigned fainting. “Oh, dear. You seem to have swooned me, Mr. Sexbang.”

Dan shrugged with a grin. “Works for me.”


	4. Chapter 4

After the karaoke night, I went home and searched up Danny’s band. I was curious to the songs they sang, though I was sure I had a good idea from their name alone.

“FYI I Wanna F Your A…Dinosaur Laser Fight…6969…” I read out the top results with a grin on my lips. I listened to a good few of them and laughed at the dramatisation of their music videos. Lots of green screen and bright colours; watching those would be really fun when high.

I spotted one result, during my binge, that was completely different from the others. Different artist, different name, different in its entire presentation. There wasn’t a video to go with it, it was just the audio. Curiosity got the better of me and I clicked on it to listen.

I let out an “oh” of realisation once I heard the singer. It was Danny. That must have meant the artist, Skyhill, was a previous band of his since he wasn’t credited as a featured artist. I was even more surprised to find that it was only released not too long ago, even though I found that the other Skyhill songs were released back in 2007 prior. My interest was peaked and I created a playlist with Skyhill songs and Ninja Sex Party songs so I could binge listen to them.

Maybe one day, I would be able to play one of them for Dan just to see his reaction.

The next day, I made my way to Vee’s Diner for my shift. I spent the first couple of hours serving the regular Saturday morning customers and cleaning the tables once they were finished being used. Bianca, a coworker of mine in her early 20’s, and I always bet each other to see how many customers we could serve before the end of our shifts. Usually, we had the same amount of hours per week and every Sunday, we would tally up our numbers and the loser would owe the winner the difference in customers, in dollars.

For the past 5 weeks, Bianca had won by only a few each time. The most I had to owe her was $24, and that was when Gern had a visit from Bruce Willis on his way to visit his family. It would have been a lot more if she had stayed the extra hour that I did, but thankfully I managed to shave a chunk of money off our bet. 

At about 11, I spotted the familiar mess of curls enter the diner. However; this time he was with 3 other men. They all walked in and took a seat at one of the window booths. I hadn’t even realised that I zoned out until I felt a tap on my shoulder.

“So are you gonna go serve them or are you just gonna keep gawking at them?” Bianca asked, cocking a perfectly drawn eyebrow at me.

I furrowed my brows. “Is a quick glance considered gawking now, is it?”

“I was there last night, Ambs.” She whispered. “He was literally singing to you. Or was that your doppelgänger?”

“At this point, it’s like you’re letting me win this week.” I said in a joking tone.

“Oh hardly,” Bianca winked at me, giving me a gentle shove, “I just know a good opportunity when I see it. And this one’s for you.” She winked as she walked away. “You’re welcome.”

With a sigh, I grabbed my notepad and walked over to the table. The 4 guys were all laughing happily among themselves and I recognised 2 of them from when I’d sing on Thursday nights. The other one I didn’t recognise, but he looked very similar to Dan with his curly brown hair.

“Good morning gentlemen,” I greeted them, giving them all a smile. I glanced at Dan and found him grinning at me, not seeming at all surprised to see me. My smiled widened when we made eye contact and I could have sworn my face heated up.

“My name is Amber, though you two knew that already,” I winked at the two familiar faces, “And I’ll be looking after you today. Were we after any drinks to start off with? Coffee, tea, water?”

“I’ll get a coffee.” The unfamiliar face said before turning to Dan, who was sitting next to him.

“Tea for me please, Amber.” Danny said, not taking his eyes off me for a moment. I watched the man next to him furrow his brows slightly.

“And for you two gentlemen? Coffee?” I turned to the two men sitting across from Danny.

“Just water for me today.” One of them said before turning to the man sitting next to him.

“Coffee would be great, thank you.” He said with a smile.

“Of course.” I jotted the drinks down on my notepad before glancing up at Danny again with a grin. “Won’t be a moment.”

As I walked away, I heard one of them ask Danny how he knew me but before I could hear the answer, I was too far away. I went to the counter and made their drinks, but Bianca was already on me before I could go and deliver them.

“I knew my gut feeling was right.” She whispered harshly.

I groaned softly in annoyance. “What now?”

She exasperated a sigh. “Either you’re being stupid or you know exactly what I’m talking about but either way, he totally wants to bang you.”

“Yeah, just scream it from the rooftops why don’t you?” I glared at her, all playfulness between us immediately gone. I felt an uncomfortable pit form at the bottom of my stomach. “Why do you always say this sort of crap when anyone I’ve had even the slightest contact with is in the same vicinity as you? Scratch that: when any man I look in remotely the same direction in, is in the same vicinity as you?”

“I’m just stating what I see.” Bianca held her hands up defensively. “And maybe if you’re reacting so drastically about the mere mention of sex, you should do something about it.”

“The mere mention of sex?” I repeated, scoffing in disbelief. “You know damn well there’s more to it than that. And if you’re really gonna make me say it out loud after you know how much hat shit has fucked with me, someone’s gonna be cleaning up a smashed ceramic plate.”

Finally, she seemed to get the hint and she closed her mouth. Her eyes filled with guilt, but I didn’t care. She had pissed me off and if I didn’t get away from her soon, there would be an explosion.

Before she could say anything more to me, I pushed the tray of drinks towards her. “I’m going on my break.”

With that, I stormed past her and went outside to try and calm myself down. Without a joint or any alcohol to slow my heart rate, I knew had to do this on my own and I knew how tough it would be. Just another reminder of how being known as an outcast freaking sucked.

There was a bench near the diner and I sat down on it, immediately hunching over and covering my face with my hands to try and cool my face down. I closed my eyes and let out a shaky breath as I tried to think of calming things. The beach…an autumn leaf detaching from a tree branch…a crackling fire on a winter’s night…an explosion…

“Why did she have to say that?” I mumbled with a shake of my head. Maybe I shouldn’t have told her about why I came to Gern. Maybe then she wouldn’t have said what she said…

“Hey.”

I opened my eyes and froze. Why did he come outside? He should be in there, with his friends. Not out here, worrying about me. That was, if he even was worrying about me.

‘Don’t be so self obsessed. He’s probably out here for a genuinely good reason that doesn’t involve you.’

Turning my head, I looked at Danny with a furrow of my brows. “What are you doing here?”

“I just came outside to get some air.” He said, letting out a relaxed breath. I watched as he turned to me with a gentle smile on his lips. “You should get some, too.”

At first, I didn’t understand why he was lying right to my face. But then I noticed that I had unconsciously matched my breathing pace with his. My breathing had slowed to a comfortable pace, my head was clear and my chest wasn’t in pain. I blinked dumbly at him as his smile grew.

“I’ll see you inside.” He whispered before leaving me on my own on the bench again. I stared at the empty space he left in shock. Not only had he come outside to check on me, but he’d just saved me a panic attack just by breathing?

What kind of voodoo shit was that?

I knew I had to go back inside and it wasn’t long before walked into the diner, watching silently as Bianca made her way towards me.

“I’m so sorry, Amber,” She said to me quietly as soon as she reached me, “I promise I didn’t mean to—”

“Don’t.” I stopped her by placing my hand on her shoulder. A small smile fell on my face. “It’s fine. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some customers to serve.” I nodded towards an older couple who were waiting patiently with their menus closed. Bianca cocked a smile.

“I think you mean them.” She gestured to the table of men with her thumb before turning away from me and taking care of the couple. I looked over at Danny’s table and saw the four men with their drinks in hand and a couple of menus between them. With another deep breath, I slowly made my way over to his table and prepped my notepad and pen.

“I see your drinks made it over safely.” I gave them all a smile as I clicked my pen. “Are you gentlemen ready to order?”

They gave me their food orders and I went off to give them to the chef. In the meantime, I cleaned some of the windows, as well as the benches of the counter where the drinks are made.

Every time I glanced to check on Danny’s table, I found Dan smiling at his friends and what they were saying. I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful he looked with the morning sun shining on his face, how his long curls framed his face perfectly, how his Adam’s apple rose and dipped right before he spoke. I had to admit, he was a really gorgeous man; both inside and out.

After giving the men their food, I pottered around and gave drinks to the customers that had begun to filter in for lunch. As I made coffees for one of the recent ordered tables, the group of men came up to the counter.

“Here.” One of the men I recognised from the lounge handed me a $10 note. “For your amazing service, as always.”

“Oh, psh.” I waved them off. “Will I see you two on Thursday?”

“Absolutely.” The other familiar face said. “See you ‘round, Amber.”

They began to filter out the door with Danny trailing behind them. Before he left thought, he came up to me and gave me a smile.

“You okay?” He asked, lowering his voice so only I could hear him.

“Yeah, tons better.” I gave him an appreciative smile. "Thank you for that. Truly.”

“Don’t worry about it. I know what it’s like.” He shoved his hands in his jacket pockets. I felt my heart drop slightly at that. A man as kind hearted as him didn’t deserve any suffering of any kind. “I’ll see you later, I suppose.”

“Yeah…” I trailed off. Realisation hit me that Dan would be gone soon and I wouldn’t be able to see him for God knows how long. He bowed his head bashfully and turned to walk out of the diner.

Before I could stop myself, I had called out his name.

He stopped and turned to look at me with a look of curiosity. I chewed on my bottom lip as a million doubts ran through my head. Would he even want to see me again before leaving? He had to have given me his number for a reason, right? I took a breath and made my way over to him.

“Did you wanna hang out sometime before you go back home?” I asked once I reached him. “Like, it’s totally fine if you can’t ‘cause I know you have friends here you wanna spend time with and I know we just met—”

“I’d love to.” Danny cut me off and I blinked. He grinned down at me. “It’s kind of funny. I was going to ask you earlier, but I didn’t really know how to go about it.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Oh?”

“Yeah…” He bit his lip and looked away again. He was adorable when he was bashful.

Wait. Why was he bashful?

“Well…cool.” I clasped my hands together, an instinctual smile twitching at the corners of my lips. “Well, I gotta get back to work but…I’ll text you?”

“I’ll call you later.” Danny said with a nod. Then, after giving me a heart-warming grin, he turned and followed his friends out of the diner. A sigh of relief escaped my lips and I turned to continue making my drinks, only to find Bianca giving me a wide grin.

“I think Vee will like him.”

I rolled my eyes in response. “Shut up.”


	5. Chapter 5

After my shift at the diner on Monday, I went home and started my research on which song I wanted to play for Dan when he came over. I already knew I wanted to do one of the Skyhill songs, I just wasn’t sure which one. Black and White, Different Frequencies, Hands On the Water…all of the Skyhill songs from 2007 each had a tone that I didn’t think I could recreate. I chewed on my bottom lip as I listened to them, until the most recent Skyhill song, Firefly, started playing. Unconsciously, my lips curled into a smile and I found my fingers tapping along.

That was the one.

I opened up another tab and looked up the chords for the song, which ended up being a more difficult task than I thought. Though I shouldn’t have been surprised; considering barely anyone knew who Skyhill were.

My phone started buzzing beside me once I had grabbed my guitar from beside my bed to tune it. I bit my tongue lightly as a knowing grin spread on my face. How even the thought of that man made me smile, I would never know. Quickly, I answered the call and held the phone between my ear and my shoulder.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself,” Danny answered, “I tried calling earlier, but I guessed you were at work. How was your shift?”

“Yeah, it was fine thank you.” I held my guitar in my lap, plucking at the strings one by one. “I finished not too long ago, came home and I’ve kinda just been…hangin’ around.” I realised how boring that sounded, so I tried to change the topic. “Um…but how about you? Any plans for tonight?”

“Well…” There was a moment of silence. “I’m not gonna lie and say ‘I’m happy you’ve got plans', ‘cause…” More silence. “Would I be able to come over?”

My eyebrows shot up and I plucked the next string harshly. “Tonight?”

“If that’s alright with you.”

This time, the silence was on my end. I didn’t realise he’d want to hang out so soon after our exchange at the diner. Especially at my house. I felt my face flush. 

But why?

“I mean, yeah of course that’s completely fine with me. B-but you don’t have to, you know. I know you have friends here who you’ve known for yonks and I don’t want to be taking that kind of catching up time away from you or them.”

Danny laughed on the other line. “I’ve seen plenty of my pals. Besides, I’m gone tomorrow afternoon and…”

I felt my stomach plummet. He was leaving the next day? I knew it would be soon, I just didn’t realise it would be that soon. Truth was, I was scared about Dan going. What if our contact, which was only little to begin with, would just fizzle out? What if I’d fuck up on maintaining a friendship with one of the nicest people I’d ever met? What if distance really did that to us?

“Amber?”

“Huh?”

He hummed softly, a knowing tone to it. Did he know I’d zoned out? “I said text me your address. I’ll be over within an hour.”

“Right. Yeah. Sure.” I tightened the last guitar string. “See you then.”

As he hung up, I strummed the notes all together and felt myself grin genuinely. We may not see each other for much longer, but at least we would be able to share one song together before he leaves.

Until his ultimate arrival, I pottered around the house and cleaned a little bit. Thankfully, I did my bigger house clean when Sarah came around last weekend. All the while, my heart hummed against my ribcage almost painfully, though I kept trying to convince myself there was nothing to be so nervous about.

It was no more than 40 minutes later when I heard a knock and, embarrassingly, found myself bolting to the front door to answer it. I opened it, puffing from the sudden burst of exercise that my lungs were not used to. Dan’s brow rose quizzically and his lips curled into a smile.

“Was I interrupting something?”

My hand was pressed against the open door, blocking his way into my small cottage-like house; while I was catching my breath. I didn’t answer, but I kept my eyes locked on his and watched them turn from intrigued to amused.

“Or were you just that excited to see me?”

With a roll of my eyes, I stepped to the side to let him in. “You were taking forever to get here. I was getting bored.”

Danny hummed with that knowing tone again and sent a wink my way as he passed by me, waiting patiently as I closed the door after him.

“Oh, I have something for you.”

From his jacket pocket, he pulled out a small ziplock bag with green, mossy looking stuff inside. My jaw dropped.

“I can’t accept that.”

“Well you’ll have to,” He grabbed my hand and forced the bag into it, “Because I don’t smoke anymore. And I feel bad for making you crush your last joint on Friday.”

I swallowed harshly, looking down at the bag of cannabis in my hand. “B-but it wasn’t your fault!” I stuttered. “Let me at least pay you back—”

“Amber.” Danny placed his hand on my shoulder, a friendly smile accompanying his soft eyes. “I promise you, it’s alright.”

No matter what he said, my gut churned uncomfortably with guilt. We both knew how expensive this stuff was, and yet he managed to get me this much and refused to let me pay him back? I was almost scared to ask him how he knew Remy, considering he was the only weed dealer in Gern.

As much as I wanted to insist on paying him back, I knew it would be like talking to a brick wall. Instead, I smiled gratefully at him and rested my hand on his, which was still on my shoulder. “Thank you.”

Danny’s smile grew momentarily and he gently squeezed my shoulder. “Anytime.”

After a 10 minute tour of the place, 8 of them being spent in my room where he examined every detail and every photograph with a gentle smile, I lead him to the lounge room where my guitar was already waiting for me.

“I have a song I want you to listen to.” I said, grabbing my guitar and placing it on my lap. With a cocked brow, Danny took a seat on the couch across from me and made himself comfortable. I rested my phone on my knee with the lyrics and notes on screen for me to read.

I grinned at him knowingly before starting to pluck the chords. I watched with amusement as Danny’s brows furrowed slightly in concentration. I could practically hear the cogs turning in his head as he tried to wrack his brain for where he’d heard the song before.

“I woke up…on a wave that crashes. When will the tide return?” His eyebrows shot up in surprise and I nodded in confirmation.

“And if you leave…with only ashes…can’t rebuild what has been burned.”

He chuckled softly as I sang, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back. I looked back down at the lyrics on my knee.

“And down the road…with all the seeds grown…and benefit of view.” I closed my eyes and swayed my head slightly. It was a really good song, even if I mostly wanted to sing it just to see his reaction.

“We throw away…the things we want most…depending on our mood.” I looked back up at Dan and found him grinning at me. When we made eye contact, he bit his lip and looked down. I swore I saw a blush on his cheeks.

I closed my eyes again and strummed the hook. “Don’t know where you are, I don't know where I'm goin’.”

“But I can't be that far,” My eyes snapped open when I heard Danny harmonising with me and a grin spread onto my face again. He was definitely a better singer in person. “From where your heart is flowin’.”

Dan belted out the next 32 beats in two breaths, mixing and matching the harmonies he did in the recorded version. I watched him: his eyes shut, the corners of his lips turned slightly upward, how his fingers were splayed out, how his head moved slightly with every note change in his voice.

He was hypnotising to watch when he sang live.

“Just like fireflies.” I sang, strumming the chorus while swaying slightly. “Mirrored to the stars that drift out—”

“Somewhere in the night.” Danny continued, grinning at me while he sang. “The words you spoke will always light an—”

“Echo in my mind.” I couldn’t tear my eyes from him. It truly felt like we were singing for each other. “A last goodbye, one breath within our ever-shifting lives.”

“The vast divided skies were meant to fly.” We harmonised the last line, me doing the higher harmony this time. I strummed the last note as Danny finished singing. He shook his head at me with the biggest grin on his face.

“Firefly.” Danny whispered, still in disbelief. He cocked his head to the side. “How did you—”

“It came up on my suggested while I was listening to your Ninja Sex Party songs.” I told him, putting the guitar down next to me. “I had no idea you were in another band before that.”

“I was in a couple, actually.” He scratched the back of his neck. “Sometimes I miss it. Writing those kinds of songs. Genuine, poetic…” He sighed. “Love songs.”

“What’s to say you can’t?” I asked with a tilt of my head. “No one’s stopping you.”

“Yeah, but…” He leant his head against the back of my couch. “That’s not really what Ninja Sex Party sings about.”

“Next To You could be interpreted in that way.” Danny’s eyes snapped open and I shrugged. “If…you dull down all the profanities and look at the…basis?” I realised that he was right midway through my justification, but that didn’t seem to matter as Dan stared at me in disbelief.

“How many of our songs did you listen to?”

My lips curled into a smile. “A few of ‘em.”

He buried his face in his hands and sighed loudly. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For exposing you to the immaturity that is my brain.” Danny looked up at me, a guilty smile on his flushed face.

“Hey. If it’s what you enjoy singing about, who am I to judge?” I threw my hands in the air. “It’s a very ‘Danny Sexbang’ thing to sing about.”

He propped his chin on his hand with a sigh. “He just really likes to bone.”

“Then maybe he should get a dog…” I added, being met with a moment’s silence. When I looked to Dan, he was wearing a shit-eating grin and I felt myself blush.

“Woof.”

With a soft giggle at Danny’s response, I ventured into the kitchen with my fresh bag of goodies and grabbed my rollers. Danny met me in the kitchen and took a seat at one of the barstools as I began pre-rolling a number of joints for later dates, including for that night.

“Did you want a drink of anything?” I asked him mid way through my rolling, going over to my pantry and opening it. “Tea, coffee…” I brought out my bottle of Jim Beam. “Bourbon?”

He shook his head with a smile. “Tea would be great, thank you.”

I grabbed a tea bag and a mug from the cabinet, as well as a glass for me. As the kettle boiled, I poured up my drink and kept rolling my joints. When I was finished, I cast most of them aside except for two. I looked up at Danny and took a sip of my drink.

“Would you like to join me for a joint?”

Danny opened his mouth to speak, but I butt in before he could talk. “I know you don’t smoke anymore, and I don’t want you to feel like I’m forcing you to.” I pushed one of the rolled joints towards him. “But I need to find some way of thanking you for getting this for me.” After a moment’s pause, I added, “And if it’s not with this, that’s fine as well. I’ll…find something.”

The kettle stopped boiling and I went to make Dan’s tea, all the while being met with silence. But it wasn’t a bad silence; I could hear the debate going on in his head. I was about to suggest that he shouldn’t do it, but he smiled lazily at me.

“Why not?” He pinched the joint between his fingers and examined it, seemingly intrigued with every curvature in the object in his hold. “For old time’s sake.”

I mirrored his smile and with my drink in hand, lead the way to the back patio; where two chairs sat on a gazebo facing a small herb garden I planted when I first moved in. I sat down and lit my joint, holding it up to my lips and sucking in the contents before passing the lighter off to Dan. My eyes watered slightly as I blew out a puff of smoke, feeling remnants of the contents still sitting in my lungs. This stuff was stronger than my usual hookup.

Remy really did know me well.

I looked over to Dan and sensed his hesitance. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” I told him, smiling softly. Without a second thought, I held my lit joint out to him. “Or you can have some of mine if you want to try it out?”

His eyes flicked to the joint between my fingers, then up to my eyes. With a silent nod, he took the joint and held it between his fingers. Keeping eye contact with me, he pressed the joint to his lips and inhaled deeply. I watched his pupils dilate until he closed them, exhaling the smoke and handing the joint back to me.

“Fuck.” He groaned.

I couldn’t help but grin and take another hit. I knew that kind of groan; he loved it. The burn in his lungs, the instant wave of relaxation washing over him. I only hoped that he wouldn’t become addicted to the stuff again because if he did, I would never forgive myself.

“I think I’ll leave it at that,” Danny sighed, slumping in his seat. “Another puff and I know I’m gonna relapse.”

I nodded and took a sip of my drink, turning my focus to the garden ahead. The sky had clouds scattered around and blocked out the few stars that were out that night. Still, a few hung about in the clear sections and the moon peaked out from behind a cloud to the right.

“I miss the stars.” Dan said quietly.

I turned to look at him. “Don’t have ‘em in Cali?”

He shook his head. “The sky’s covered in smog. I don’t get to see any sort of natural light at night anymore.” The silence he was met with caused him to look over to me, where I was grinning at him. “What?”

“That rhymed.”

Danny smirked and leant over to lightly shove my shoulder. I gasped at him and squished the butt of my joint into the arm rest beside me.

“That was rude.”

“I’m sure you’ll get over it.” Danny grinned, standing up from his seat and holding his hand out toward me. I held it and hoisted myself up, almost knocking into him from the momentum I wrongly measured for myself. He quickly steadied me with a hand on my waist and a tighter grip on my hand. Instead of scolding me, which I was expecting, he smiled down at me with amusement.

I giggled softly. “Whoopsies.”

“I think you should lay down.” Dan whispered, placing his hand on the small of my back as he began to lead me toward my bedroom.

“Wait, but what about you?” I spun around, almost crashing into him again. “I have the couch if you need to stay on that. Or my bed. I like my couch too.”

‘I should have eaten before he came over. Such a lightweight.’

Danny smiled and shook his head at me. “I have my ride home.”

“But it’s super late,” I pushed, “And driving at night is risky business, y’know?”

He bit his lip and I watched his eyes look toward the door again. I reached out and held his hand.

“Please.” I whispered, sincerity in my voice. “For the safety of you and your ride: stay here.”

Danny’s brow rose slightly. “Is that the only reason you want me to stay?”

It wasn’t. I wanted to be around him longer, try to memorise his calming presence, his voice, his smile. He would be leaving the next day and I wouldn’t see him for a long time, if ever. I needed more time with him than I had; so as selfish as it sounded, I wanted all the time I could possibly get.

“No.” The answer slipped from my lips and Dan’s eyebrows shot up in surprise at my honesty. Though before he could say anything else, I pressed my finger to my lips with a sly smile.

“But that’ll be our little secret.”


	6. Chapter 6

The first thing I felt the next morning was a stiff neck and cramps in my calves. I groaned softly and put my hand on the round surface beneath me…

Hang on. Since when was my mattress made of denim?

Beneath my head were a pair of thin legs. I blinked a couple times to rid the blurriness in my vision, thinking it was still the remnants of last night’s terrible mix of alcohol and weed, only to have the denim covered legs become clearer. Above me, I heard the gentle, unconscious breathing of another human. I turned my neck slowly, as to not strain it, and found Danny with his head craned back and off the top of the couch headrest.

At first, all I could do was stare at him. He was already a calming presence, yet watching him while he was asleep was something else. He looked so at ease, like not even the loudest noise could disrupt him from his slumber. Like his dreams were filled with mist and gentle harp music and he would just be nakedly floating on a cloud for however long he slept.

‘Why would he be naked you perv?’

However, that moment was over as soon as it started and I realised the position I was in. My head was in his lap, with my legs sprawled across the length of my couch. Danny was sitting up, slumped slightly, his hand loosely sitting on my waist. Even worse, his thumb was slowly moving up and down on my skin, his feather-like touch sending a shiver down my spine. My brain sent the realisation to my heart, which responded by almost doubling in beats per minute.

Now seemed like the perfect time for a joint.

Slowly, I used his leg as leverage to try and sit up. However, he began to stir awake and, as a panicked reaction, I planted my head on his lap again and shut my eyes. He groaned softly and after a moment, I felt him tense; I presumed noticing the position we’d fallen asleep in. He brushed some of the hair away from my face, a soft giggle coming from his mouth. I heard him mumble something, but I wasn’t sure what he said.

I tried to keep my breathing even, but I knew it hadn't worked when Danny froze his movements.

“Are you awake?”

I stopped breathing. I felt him shift slightly under me.

“Have you been awake this whole time?” His voice was right by my ear and it made me jump slightly. My eyes shot open as Danny began laughing. “Would you mind moving your head a bit? I can’t feel my legs.”

“Yeah, of course. S-sorry.” I muttered, quickly getting up from the couch and going toward the kitchen for my joints. I could hear Dan chuckling from the kitchen, where I grabbed my spare lighter and lit my joint before I could even get outside. I placed my hand against the door once I got out to the back patio, just so I could stop it from shaking.

‘How could you let yourself fall asleep on a stranger’s lap?’

“Amber?” Dan called out.

I sucked in my second breath of cannabis and held it for a moment, letting it settle in my lungs before blowing it out.

“What’s up, buttercup?”

“You okay?” His voice was much closer now; right behind me, in fact. I didn’t turn around, instead putting my focus on the effects of the cigarette. I could feel it almost instantly: the feel of relaxation and calmness.

Thank God for weed.

“Yeah, I’m good.” I said, turning on my heel to face him. I smiled lazily. “Are you okay?”

Dan’s smile grew knowingly at my question and I felt my face flush despite my heart keeping a steady beat. “I’m great. Slept like a rock.”

I inhaled the last of my joint before putting it out in the ashtray. “What can I say? My couch is like a cloud. It’s super comfy.” I stepped back inside, coming chest to chest with Dan. I craned my neck slightly to look up at him, grinning. “Your legs would be second best, I think.”

Out of nowhere, Dan’s finger came up and pointed at me, directed right in front of my nose. I went cross eyed for a moment looking at it.

“You take that back.”

My eyes flicked back up to his, a mischievous smile on my features. I raised myself to match his height on my tip toes and asked, “Are you going to make me?”

At the challenging question, Dan’s whole demeanour changed. He clenched his fist in front of me, mirroring my smile with a wicked glint in his eye. Before he could do anything though, there was a knock at my front door. Both our heads snapped toward the sound; obviously Dan wasn’t expecting anyone here at this time, and neither was I. I looked back at Dan briefly, meeting his gaze for a moment before heading towards the door.

I opened it and found one of the guys I was familiar with from the diner, I assumed waiting on Dan. I smiled softly at him.

“Hey. Here to collect the man-child I presume?” I smirked. “Did you wanna come in? Have a coffee?”

“No, I’m okay, thank you.” He shook his head with a smile. “Dan told you he was leaving today, right?”

My stomach dropped. I’d just about forgotten. “Yeah, he did. Sorry I kept him from you for the night.”

“Oh, that’s fine.” He grinned. “As long as he wasn’t any trouble.”

“He caused such a mess.” I winked. “You need to discipline him more.”

“You both realise I’m an adult, right?” Danny stood beside me, looking between us with an amused smile. “I can handle myself without the both of you checking on me.”

“Sure you can, sweetie.” I teased, grabbing his cheek softly. He swatted my hand away with a chuckle, before turning to his friend.

“Ready?”

“Almost.” Dan said, turning to me with a sad smile. “I just wanted to thank you for your hospitality, Amber. And…for the good night’s sleep.” He winked.

“It’s a magic couch!” I said with a nod. “Always here for whenever you decide to come back.”

“Good to know. And hey! If you’re ever coming to L.A, let me know and I’ll give you a personal tour.” He leant in and whispered, “I’ll also lend you my ‘couch’ to sleep on.”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, though the insinuation behind his words spiked my heart rate. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Politely, I held out my hand to him. “It was lovely to spend time with you, Dan; and I hope we can see each other again soon.”

Dan looked at my hand as if it had sprouted a face, before looking back at me. “What are you doing?”

I blinked. “Offering a handshake?”

Danny laughed; a hearty, loud, truly beautiful laugh. “You think after using my lap as a pillow, we’re still at the ‘handshaking’ phase?” Without another word, he stepped forward and enveloped me in his arms. I even surprised myself by already having my arms outstretched for him and I immediately hugged him back.

We embraced each other tightly and deep down, I was scared to let go. To watch him leave and not return, at least for a good while. To not see his face as often as I had. It had only been a number of days, and yet I felt like I’d known him so much longer.

We had clicked in a way I’d never done with anyone before. Not even Sarah.

He pulled away hesitantly and shoved his hands in his jacket pockets with a bashful smile. “I’ll…see you later.”

“Yeah,” I smiled sadly. “See you later.”

The two boys then walked to the car, got in, and drove away; but not without getting a few car horn honks in. I waved them off before going back inside and crashing again on the couch, the smell of Dan still lingering on the cushions.

The next two days were a blur until Thursday rolled around. Because of my local ‘fame’, Vee never gave me shifts on a Thursday so I had as much time to prepare for my bar performances. Truth be told, I usually had the songs picked out by the start of the week and the chords nailed by Wednesday, but it was sweet of her to let me have a day to prepare if I needed it.

Since Danny’s departure, I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him. I don’t know what had happened to me since meeting him and him leaving, but I had never been so hung up on anyone before; especially since the Bruiser incident. Maybe it was because he made me feel like I truly belonged somewhere for the first time in my life.

I walked into The Monarch at around 3 in the afternoon, surprising Bruiser with my earliness. I felt him watching me the entire time I walked up to the stage to set my guitar down. I adjusted the headband holding my frizzy hair from my face — I hadn’t washed it in a while; didn’t find any point in doing so — as I looked at him. His eyes softened.

“You’re here early.” He finally spoke, starting to walk towards me. “I’m not ready for my glass of water yet.”

“I got bored.” I said with a shrug. The truth was that thinking of Danny this much was causing me pain. Emotional pain. So much so that I’d almost finished the bag of cannabis Danny got for me. Usually, it took me a couple weeks to smoke that much, and the stuff I usually got was a lot weaker than this new bag.

Even worse, instead of getting me to relax like it usually did, every joint I smoked only spiked my heart rate and fuelled whatever shitty thoughts were rolling around inside my head. So by instinct, I’d go to smoke another joint, which would only make me more paranoid.

In other words, something was very wrong and I had no clue on how to fix it.

As Bruiser got closer, I saw the worry in his eyes for only a second before they were back to their usual gentle brown. “How ya been, Flamo?”

“Gonna be honest with ya, Bruise: not too great. But I’m here and I’m breathing so that’s good…”

‘I guess.’

There was no point in lying to him. He’d see through it instantly. Unfortunately, he was very perceptive and even more upfront. Any lie he sensed would be tackled immediately.

Instead of taking his usual seat on one of the seats set up for the show, Bruiser came and sat next to me. I looked at him, forcing a small smile. He shook his head.

“Don’t do that.”

I furrowed my brow slightly. “What?”

“Pretend you’re fine when you’re clearly not.”

I tilted my head slightly. “What do you—”

“Alright, wasn’t gonna say it but you’re forcing me to now. I’m sorry Flamo,” Bruiser sighed. “But you look like shit. I don’t know when the last time you slept was, but it looks like you’ve been awake for days. And you’re lookin’ awfully pale…”

Instead of offending me, I felt strangely complimented that he noticed that something was off. Maybe everyone else had as well, but I appreciated the fact that Bruiser had enough guts to say something. “Maybe you shouldn’t perform tonight.”

Sighing, I shook my head. “I’ll be okay, Bruise. I think I just need another…” My heart plummeted to my stomach as I felt around in my bag for my rolled joint, but couldn’t find it.

“Shit.”

“Seriously Amber,” I looked back up at Bruiser. He never called me by my name. “You need to go home and relax. I don’t know what’s goin' on, but it ain’t good.”

“I’m fine.” I insisted with a little more annoyance in my voice than I meant. With a slight huff, I stood up. “I’m going out for some air.”

With that, I grabbed my phone and walked out of the lounge, turning into the alleyway and leaning against the graffitied brick wall. I looked down at the device in my hand, contemplating whether I should call Dan or not. I’d held my pride for this long, since it had only been a number of days, and not contacted him at all. I didn’t need him worrying about me or anything, considering he had his own life to live and all that.

As if on cue, my phone lit up with a text message. With a smile, I opened my phone and read the text silently.

Good luck with your performance tonight! You’re gonna kill it! :D

Since his departure, I’d only sent the occasional text to Danny as he did with me. He was bombarded with work as soon as he arrived back in L.A. and I had my paranoia fuelled weed smokes, so we always contacted each other at the wrong moment. However, this afternoon couldn’t have been better timed.

Thanks :) don’t work yourself too hard okay? 

It was only a moment later that he responded and spread my lips into a grin.

Impossible! Though I will admit it kills me that I can’t be there to cheer you on this time round.

With a giggle, I typed back my response.

That’s okay, I’ll just find some other ‘80s looking guy to work my charm on ;)

I stared at the text once I sent it. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been so flirtatious with someone; or more accurately, the last time I let myself be flirtatious with anyone. But with Dan, it only felt playful and I knew he’d quip back with something that would make me grin.

Before I went to head inside the lounge again, he sent me one last text.

You’re killing me here sweetheart. Just remember, deep breaths. You got this :)

I didn’t bother to try and hide my grin when I read the text, which lead me to practically bounce into the Monarch Lounge. Bruiser’s mouth turned into a small smile as he watched me. “Air do you good?”

With a contented sigh, I replied, “There’s something fresh in that air tonight, Bruise. Let’s hope it stays like that.”


	7. Chapter 7

I’d been starting to feel noticeably better since the text conversation I’d had with Dan. I’d gotten a fresh batch of weed — my usual, weaker stuff; I didn’t want to risk more paranoia smoking. However, I had been noticing that I had begun to smoke more times a day. I came to the conclusion that as long as it didn’t affect how people saw me and how I appeared, then it couldn’t have been too bad…

Right?

Another 2 weeks went by and I turned up to the Monarch Lounge at my regularly scheduled time slot. I already had my rolled joint behind my ear ready to go outside and smoke, but I would wait for the weekly catch up with Bruiser before doing that. I sat on the chair on stage and plucked at my strings, humming the tune of one of the songs to myself. Exactly 7 minutes later, Bruiser walked in with a smile.

“Mornin’.” I grinned.

Bruiser glanced at his watch. “Maybe you should stop smoking so much.”

“Hey!” I cried defensively. “I barely even take a whiff of the stuff compared to a lot of other people out there.”

I waited for him to come along with the lemontini in hand and we caught up. There was nothing different about our conversation, except for the fact that Bruiser left me with, “Don’t be nervous. You’ll be great.”

Usually, he only wished me luck. Adding the ‘don’t be nervous’ part started to set me on edge. I guessed then was my cue for my joint; so I walked out of the lounge and into the alleyway, lit my joint and inhaled the contents with a smile.

Suddenly, my phone screen lit up in my hand and it started buzzing. I saw the name and felt my heart pick up, answering it immediately.

“Sarah.” I sighed, taking another puff.

“Hey Ambs,” Her gentle voice answered back; I could already tell she had some bad news from the guilty tone, “I, uh…just called to tell you that I can’t come to your performance tonight—”

“It’s fine, Sarah,” I smiled lazily, “I know how busy you get at the hospital. I promise, it’s okay. You’ll just have to bake more brownies with me next time.”

“But tonight’s the big night!” She whined. I furrowed my brows as she continued, “I’m just so bummed that I have to miss it.”

“Big night…?”

There was a long pause on the other end. Sarah cursed quietly.

“Oh…I gotta go. People to cure, and…all that stuff…”

“Wait, Sarah!—” The line was cut before I could ask her what she meant. Big night? What was so different about tonight? If I wasn’t smoking, I knew my anxiety would be through the roof.

Damn it, Sarah.

I quickly finished up and chucked my cigarette in the bin nearby before heading back inside. Ollie was seated at the bar, whispering to an unfamiliar man in a sweater whose back was turned to me. Before I could even try to approach them, I found myself being directed away by an arm around my shoulders and a cheery greeting. With a frustrated groan, I threw Ricky’s arm off my shoulders and glared at him.

“What the fuck is going on? Why is everyone making a big deal of tonight?” Ricky was trying to shush me, but I found no point in making my voice quiet. I pointed over at the unfamiliar person who Ollie was talking to. “Who the hell is he?”

“You’ll find out soon. Just…Amber. Come on.” He held my shoulders, forcing me to look into his eyes. “Chill out a bit? And stop overthinking shit.”

With a huff, I slumped into submission. “Fine. I’ll shut up.” I shoved my finger under his nose threateningly. “But I want answers after the performance, okay?”

Holding up his hands defensively, Ricky nodded. “Sure thing, Miss Hot Head. Yeesh.” With a dramatic sigh, Ricky turned and made his way over to Ollie as people began to filter in. Immediately, I noticed that there was more people than on a usual Thursday night. Was someone famous coming in to perform? Or was it a special day for the town? Fuck. If it was, I was too high to remember what it was.

I made my way over to the stage and found my phone pressed to my ear, ringing. I didn’t recall dialling anyone, but was pleasantly surprised when the person on the other end picked up after the third ring.

“Hey, you.”

“Hey Dan,” I chewed on my bottom lip, taking a seat on the side of the stage. “Gonna be honest, don’t even remember dialling you but I’m glad I did. How are you?”

“I’m good, yeah.” He replied. “I’m glad you called, too. I was gonna send another text wishing you luck but now I can just say it instead. Good luck!”

I giggled. “Thanks. It’s weird, everyone’s being super fishy tonight. They’re making it seem like a super big deal. Maybe I shouldn’t have prepared a bunch of super chill songs for this week in case I lull someone important to sleep.”

“You’ll do great. I can already tell you’re pumped full of weed so I doubt you need any assurance from me.”

I winced. “Ah shit. It’s not too obvious is it?”

“I spent 12 years of my life high. I’m pretty much a weed expert.” Dan chuckled. “You sound fine. Call me after?”

I furrowed my brows slightly. Did he know what the hell was going on as well? Or was he just being nice? “Yeah, sure. Bye Danny.”

“Talk soon, sweetheart.” He replied. A grin spread on my face as I hung up. I presumed ‘sweetheart’ would start becoming a frequent nickname and I didn’t mind at all.

I put my phone in my pocket and made my way on stage; the crowd’s eager eyes locked on me as everyone quietened down. Even with such an anxiety inducing situation, I managed to smile softly and strum a G note.

Weed sure did work wonders.

I leant forward and pressed my lips to the microphone. “How are we tonight, ladies and jelly babies?”

‘God, I could go for some jelly babies right now…’

I was answered with a few cheers and a small round of applause. I grinned and nodded. “Tonight’s gonna be a bit more mellow, so bare with me. Actually, by all means, grab someone and slow dance with ‘em.” My eyes met Brusier’s and I gave him a wink. “Don’t worry Bruce, I’ll save my first dance for you.”

The familiars in the crowd gave a soft chuckle, while Bruiser smiled fondly at me. I tilted my head at the reaction. Usually, he’d roll his eyes or brush it off. Why was he accepting it now?

“Alright,” I strummed again. “This first one’s called Kingston Town by UB40.”

With a heavy exhale, I closed my eyes and began strumming the chords for the introduction of the song. I heard a slight rustling and the scraping of wood on wood as chairs were moved. When I opened my eyes, I grinned at the sight before me: 5 or so couples had moved their chairs and tables out of the way and had begun to sway locked in each other’s embrace.

“The night…seems to fade,” My eyes danced from couple to couple, watching them sway with their partner. “But the moonlight…lingers on.”

“There are wonders…for everyone.”

My smile grew as more people gathered on the empty floor. Friends, lovers, family members; they were all dancing with each other. Even Bruiser was swaying along with a soft smile.

“The stars…shine so bright,” I closed my eyes again to focus on the words. “But they're fading…after dawn.”

“There is magic…” Slowly, my eyes opened once more to find almost the whole lounge dancing in front of me. “In Kingston Town.”

The crowd took my short break to give me a few, short, encouraging cheers. I grinned a bit wider in acknowledgement, before looking down at my fingers plucking away at the chords.

“Oh Kingston Town.” I looked back up to the crowd and felt a sudden pang in my chest, though I didn’t have the time to think of what the reasoning could be.

“The place I long to be. If I had the whole world…I would give it away just to see…” I closed my eyes again, the pain growing with every moment I looked into the crowd. “The girls at play.”

I hummed the tune softly as I strung, trying to drown out whatever hurt I was feeling with noise. Unfortunately, the pain only felt worse as the effects of the cannabis were starting to wear down.

“She’ll be waiting in Kingston Town.” With a gentle sway of my head, I strummed the final chords. “Oh yeah, she'll be waiting in Kingston Town.”

The other 3 songs went by smoothly, with people intermittently switching from the bar to the main floor to slow dance. I was smiling because the sight was almost magical in itself, yet by the third song I had discovered the reason for the pain in my chest. It was a feeling of loneliness that I wish I hadn’t been feeling, especially with the cannabis making me feel so much worse than I usually would.

When the crowd had finished their applause, I hopped off the stage and made a beeline outside to smoke another joint. The anxiety from everyone’s weird behaviour had caught up on me and before confronting the man in the sweater, I needed to chill the fuck out.

In the meantime, I got my phone out and called Dan to tell him about my performance.

“What was the name of that first one? Kingston Town?”

“Mhm.” I took another drag. “It’s got real reggae vibes, if you’re into that stuff. Makes you feel like you’re high even if you haven’t smoked anything.”

“I’ll take a listen…so how did you think you went?”

That was it. I wanted answers and I wanted them now. “Alright. Obviously you know what’s going on. Come on, Mr Sexbang. Spill it.”

With a sigh, Danny said, “You can’t tell anyone that I told you, okay?” There was a long pause. “But you’re being si—”

“Amber!” Ollie came out from the entrance of the lounge, peering around the alleyway and gesturing me quickly. I groaned and finished the rest of my joint.

“Ollie’s calling me. You better fuckin’ tell me when I call you later.”

“I won’t need to.” I could hear the smile in Danny’s voice, which made me especially weary. I looked in both directions.

“You’re not gonna jump out and surprise me, are you?”

He giggled. “No, sweetheart. Go talk to him. I’ll see you soon.” And with that, he hung up.

I stared at my phone with my brows furrowed together. Talk to who? The stranger with Ollie? How did he know there was someone unfamiliar here? Ollie calling my name again made whatever questions I had fly from my brain, and I dumbly followed him back into the Monarch Lounge.

When I got inside, I found him again with the sweater man. This time, they were both facing me with smiles on their faces; Ollie’s noticeably wider. The man was tall and round, with an epic bushy beard that could put any biker to shame. With his sweater he wore a pair of khakis and sneakers, which I thought was a little odd.

Yet here I was wearing a mustard coloured dress with a brown floral headband, aka the actual definition of a stoner. Or a banana.

‘Mmm…bananas…’

“Amber,” Ollie grinned even wider, if that was possible, “This is Brent. Brent Lilley.”

I smiled and extended my hand. “Awesome to meet you, dude.”

The man, whose name I’d learnt was Brent, smiled wider and shook my hand. “You too. Ollie’s told me lots about you.”

I waved him off with a nervous chuckle. “Ah, there’s nothing really to tell. What you see is what you get.”

With a shared glance between Brent and Ollie, in which I furrowed my brows in confusion, Ollie left us and Brent took a seat at the bar. He gestured to the seat next to him, which I sat down at silently.

“Drink?”

“No, I’m okay, thank you…” I blinked a couple times when he said nothing more. I leaned in. “This isn’t like…a date setup or anything is it? ‘Cause you seem like a decent fellow and whatnot but I’m not really interested in—”

“No, this isn’t a date.” Brent chuckled. My face immediately flushed with embarrassment. He took a sip from his beer and turned to me with a smile. “I manage some smaller bands and artists in California.”

I blinked.

“A friend of mine told me about this little lounge here, and about a young lady who performed acoustic covers of not-so-well-known songs on a Thursday night.” His eyebrow rose. “I presume that’s you?”

I looked over my shoulder briefly before shrugging. A smile tugged at my lips. “Guess I’ll have to do.”

Brent smiled that bit wider before leaning in. “How would you like to come out to L.A. and try recording some of your covers? Or even write up some original songs to perform.”

My throat completely dried up and I called to Scotty to get me a water. “L.A.? Record?”

Brent nodded. “In a studio. In a booth with microphones and instruments and all that fancy jazz.”

When Scotty put the glass of water in front of me, I took a sip and restrained from skulling the entire thing in front of a stranger. I blinked a couple more times at the man. “This isn’t a joke?”

“Not at all. You have a unique style. I’d love to get you in a studio.”

Stunned was the most mild word I could think of to describe how I felt. Scared of what stupid joke I’d try to make, or some foolish thing I knew I’d say, I just nodded at his words. His smile widened again as he pulled out a business card from his pocket and placed it in front of me.

“Give me a call when you’ve let all this sink in, and I’ll organise you on a flight out to L.A.” He stuck out his hand. “It was great meeting you, Amber.”

“You too.” Were the only words I could formulate as I shook his hand. Afterwards, he went over to Ollie for a short word before leaving the lounge.

Once he was gone, Ollie made a beeline towards me with the biggest grin on his face. “So? What’s happening?”

I blinked a few more times, skulling the rest of my water and planting the glass down on the bar with a grin.

“I’m going to L.A.”


	8. Chapter 8

5 and a half hours. That’s how long my ass was planted on the window seat of the Boeing 767 that flew me from my comfortable little town of Gern all the way across the country to the chaos that was Los Angeles.

Not being able to smoke sucked, but thankfully I convinced Sarah to bake me some spiked brownies for me to snack on before my adventure. I’d had 3: one for breakfast, one when I got to the airport and one before the flight. So when I stumbled drowsily off the plane at 6 in the morning on a Monday, it was safe to say I was still high off my rocker.

When I told Dan the news of my arrival, he was ecstatic for me. I said that I’d be flying in within a few days, and he was already offering me a ride and a roof to sleep under.

“You really don’t have to,” I had said to him, “I’m sure there are plenty of motels for to hang around in.”

“Seriously, Amber.” He’d insisted. “You can…I don’t know. Help pay for food or something if you feel guilty. But this is a trip for you. You should enjoy yourself.”

“I will as long as I’m with you.” I mumbled to myself, curling myself up in a ball on the bench in the arrivals area. I furrowed my brows. Did I actually just say that out loud?

“Someone would think you were lovesick.” I sighed.

I checked the time on my phone, seeing the numbers 6:08 staring back at me. I was waiting on Dan to pick me up; he said he’d be here by 10 past, but I didn’t mind if he was late. In fact, I was enjoying sitting in my brown knitted crop and green pants that flared out at the ankles; people watching the tourists and locals alike. There was such a contrast and I almost felt more akin to the behaviours of the locals than I did to my own locals back home.

“Oh yeah. Weed’s legal here.” I remembered aloud. That was probably why I felt more at home here. Hippies galore.

“Sweet.”

My phone buzzed with a text. It was Dan.

Your chariot awaits, m’lady.

It felt like a bolt of electricity shot through me and I jumped up. With a wide grin on my lips, I grabbed my duffel bag and sprinted out into the pick up area; stopping in my tracks once the realisation hit that I had no idea what Dan’s car looked like.

A couple car honks to my left sent me sprinting in that direction before I even registered if it was for me. I soon spotted Dan, with a grin almost as big as mine, hopping out of his car. Everything was perfectly timed: he came around the back of his car, I dropped my bag on the path beside it and practically leaped into his arms with a not-so-efficient 0.2 second warning.

“Catch me!”

“Oof!”

By some miraculous circumstance, he actually managed to catch me. Thankfully he was only a step away from the back of his car; so instead of falling down from my stupid impulsivity, his back instead got slammed into the back of his car.

My weed-filled mind hadn’t registered the pained groan that followed shortly after the bang, only deciding to focus on the reality that I was back with Dan. I hugged him tighter as my grin widened even further.

“You gotta be more careful sweetheart,” Dan’s voice sounded strained as he hugged my waist tightly, “I’m an ageing man y’know.”

I pulled back slightly to look at his face, smiling at me and trying to disguise the pain he was in. “We’re like the same age. Try another excuse next time.”

With a quick peck on his nose, I jumped away and grabbed my bag from the pathway. When I turned back to the car, Dan was opening the back of the car with a smirk and his eyes on me. As I got closer to put my bag in the back of the car, I noticed a tinge of red on his cheeks. Either it was from too much sun, or he was blushing.

How adorable.

After getting in the passenger side of the car, Dan got in and began the route out of the airport.

“You seem very chipper for a 6 hour flight,” He noticed. I turned to look at him wide eyed and he exaggerated a flinch. “Jesus! What are you, an owl?!”

I stuck my hands by my shoulders to mimic wings, then began to flap them hysterically. “Hoot! Hoooot!”

This earned a giggle from Dan as he pulled out of the airport and started down the highway.

“So I’m going to take a random stab and say you ate a good number of weed brownies before your flight and…now you’re super stoned.”

I nodded eagerly with a grin. “I’m so fucking high I’m not even sure if you’re real.”

Without a moment’s hesitation, I poked his stubbly cheek with my finger. He swatted my hand away with a hiss, to which I gave a firm nod.

“Daniel Sexbang is a real person and not just a figment of my imagination: check.”

Dan blew a soft sigh out of his nose. “Avidan.”

“Hm?”

“My last name is Avidan.” I sounded it out a couple times, testing it on my tongue; completely oblivious to Dan’s chuckling beside me. He turned his head and winked. “And my first name isn’t actually Dan.”

If I was sober, maybe I would have made a bigger deal than I did in that moment. But right then, my response was, “No way! Mine isn’t either!”

Dan rolled his eyes and gave me a gentle shove. I giggled tiredly, rolling my head to look out the window. The sunrise was adding splashes of orange and small spots of green to the sky, and suddenly I was reminded of how early it was.

With a sigh, I looked back over at Dan. “Thank you for picking me up. ‘Specially at this time. Would have been an absolute bitch having to get up at this time in the morning.”

“Truth be told, I haven’t actually gone to sleep yet.” He glanced over at me for a moment before focussing back on the road. “I’ve actually, uh…been writing more music.”

“Oh shit!”

“Yeah,” He smiled. “There’s one song I really think you’ll like. But…it’s nowhere near done, so you won’t be able to hear it for a bit.”

“As long as you don’t forget to let me listen, then you’re forgiven.” I said, crossing my arms with a smile.

“Oh believe me,” He looked into my eyes, “I wouldn’t be able to forget.”

My brain went all foggy when he turned back to look at the road. What did that mean? Did it even mean anything? Mean is meat with an ’n’ instead of a ’t’. Chicken sounds really good right now.

“Is there a KFC or something around here?” Even though we were on the highway, I still decided to wind down the window and stick my head out to look around. The wind nipped at my skin and blew my hair back. I laughed and impulsively screamed out from the top of my lungs.

“Get back here.” I heard Dan say as he pulled me back in by the strap of my singlet, chuckling softly. “Crazy kid.”

“I’m literally 30. And stoned. I’m the least childish one here.”

“30 huh?” He nodded slowly, a small smirk gracing his lips. “I wouldn’t have guessed a day over 21.”

I rolled my eyes. “Okay, I’m actually 27. But that’s basically 30.”

“Well then by your logic, I’m basically 40.”

My head snapped to look at Dan before I burst out laughing. “Sure. You’re more spritely than me, even when I’ve had weed. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’d just turned 30.”

He smiled. “That’s very flattering, but I’m a few years over 30.”

“How many?”

Dan gave me a side glance. “A couple fews.”

“So, like…” I used my fingers to count. “6? Wait you’re 36?” My jaw dropped. “What fuckin’ youth pool have you been bathing in?”

‘And can I bathe with you?’

With a laugh, Danny said, “37, actually. And I only bathe in the blood of children mixed with unicorn tears. Now…try and get some sleep. L.A. is a big fuckin’ place and I have tons to show you before you go back.”

I hummed softly, leaning back on the headrest with a smile. “Thanks Dan…the taxi man.”

He leant over and ruffled my hair, making loose strands fall over my face. I blew them away before letting my eyes gently shut. There was the rumble of the car engine and the low volume of what sounded like Daft Punk's 'Instant Crush' on the radio that lulled me off into a weird, half-conscious sleep.

It felt like mere seconds between when I closed my eyes to when the car jolted to a stop. I shot up, eyes wide, panic setting my heart rate to triple its resting rate. Dan looked over at me with his eyebrows creased in concern.

“It’s okay. We’re here.”

I looked out and sure enough, we were in the parking lot of an apartment building. Giving me a gentle smile, he then got out of the car and went to grab my bag from the back. Snapping out of my shock, I scrambled out of the car with my backpack and met him around the back of his car.

He had just opened the back and was reaching for my bag when I beat him to it. His hand had come to rest on top of mine right after I’d slipped in to grab the handle. Slowly, I lifted my gaze to meet his, where he was smirking down at me with a risen brow.

I scoffed. “If you wanted to hold my hand so bad, you could have just asked.”

Dan burst out in surprised laughter as I yanked my bag out of the car. “I’ll know that for next time.” He replied smoothly before leading me to the entrance to the building. After unlocking the door, he lead us into the building and up 3 flights of stairs until we reached a lone door on the left.

“It’s not quite as quaint and cute as yours but…” He unlocked the door and swung it open with a smile. “It’s home to me.”

It was a very basic layout: white walls; carpeted floors, excluding the kitchen and bathroom; 2 bedrooms; spacious living room. The walls were covered with Rush memorabilia, as well as a variety of other artists and interests of his. I gazed from picture to picture, waltzing from room to room and looking at his decor. The spare bedroom looked like a miniature recording studio, with foam on the walls and a microphone with a pop filter over it.

I began to walk towards the closed door at the end of the house. I reached for the handle, but was jump scared by Dan planting his hand on the door.

“Don’t go in there.”

With a pout, I whined, “You saw my room. It’s only fair.”

“But…” He sighed. “It’s not the same. I…” He trailed off, holding his arm and keeping his gaze locked on the floor. I tilted my head.

“It’s okay. I won’t judge you if you’re into weird shit. I mean, I’m a fucking pothead.” I gave him a smile. “But you don’t have to show me if you don’t want to.”

He gave me a look, mixed with hesitance and trust, and slowly took his hand off the door. I waited a moment for him to calm himself, before I opened the door and walked inside.

It was clean. Immaculate, even. I was sure that was why he was being so secretive. But when I looked at the walls, I saw memorabilia of a series called The Last Unicorn. I couldn’t stop the grin from forming on my face.

“Is it a movie?”

I turned to look at Dan, who had his knuckles pressed against his mouth. When I spoke, his head perked up. “Huh?”

“The Last Unicorn. Is it a film?”

He blinked. “I, uh—yeah. I-it’s based off a book but…yeah.”

“Were you scared of showing me this?” I asked softly, making my way toward him.

Dan scoffed. “I wasn’t scared. I just didn’t want you to…I dunno…think I was a child or something…” he mumbled the last part, but I managed to catch his words.

“Your interests are what make you ‘you’, Danny.” I grinned at him. “And I wouldn’t wanna change that for the world. Besides, if I didn’t at least try to like anything in here, you have every right to kick me out and let me fend for myself in the wild streets of…wherever we are.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “Even if you hated everything I treasured, I could never do that to you.”

I felt my smile falter. His tone was non-chalant, but the words didn’t sound quite that way. He had to have just been thinking of it in a friendly way, right? Of course he was. He was a sweet guy, that much I knew. Yep. That’s all it was.

‘Stop overthinking, dipshit.’

“Cool…” I trailed off with a cough. “I’ll just go…settle on the couch.”

And once I squeezed past him, I got as far as dragging my bag to the side of the couch and plonking my ass down on the cushions before I was out like a light, having what I could only describe as the most peaceful night’s sleep I’d had since…

Oh no.


	9. Chapter 9

“Ambs.”

A groan started low at the bottom of my throat and followed up to my mouth, where it changed into a yawn. This bed felt really weird. Kinda lumpy. Super slim.

“C’mon sweetheart. Everyone knows L.A. is where nothing ever sleeps.”

L.A.?

Drowsily, I opened my eyes. Dan’s gentle face greeted me and I felt myself smile on instinct. I made a small noise as I stretched my arms up, letting them fall over the arm of the sofa.

“Morning.”

“More like ‘evening’.” He sighed, looking above me. I turned my head and followed his gaze to look out his apartment window, where the sun was almost completely below the horizon and the sky was airbrushed with pinks and deep purples.

“What time is it?” I yawned again, stretching my legs out along the length, plus over the other arm, of the couch. Dan glanced at the watch on his wrist.

“Just past 6.”

“Ah fuck.” I held my hand against my throbbing head. “Should’ve tried to sleep on that fucking plane.”

Danny’s smile grew as he leant forward and ran his hand through my hair gingerly, his cheeks rosy and his eyes twinkling. My heart skipped a beat. “You slept like a rock at least.”

“That’s what happens when you crash after you’re high.” I gave him a cheeky grin. “You should know that, Daniel.”

He hummed and nodded slowly. “I remember. Some of my best naps were when I was high.”

“See?” I reached up and pinched his cheek softly. “You get it.”

With a giggle, he swatted my hand away and stood upright. I stretched again as he began walking to his kitchen, and soon got up to follow him.

“So…is there a reason you interrupted my mini coma?” I asked as I took a seat at one of the barstools. “Or were you worried I was dead? I promise I’m not. Plus, dying in your sleep is so boring. I’d rather get body slammed into some sharp rocks. RKO’d off a cliff or something.”

I stopped myself from continuing when I looked up at Dan, finding him staring at me with an amused smile. 

“Actually, if it were up to me I would have let you stay in your coma until you woke up yourself…but it’s a Monday night.”

I blinked. “Yeah…?”

Dan’s face broke out into a grin. “Monday night is karaoke night.”

My stomach dropped. This was not a good physical or emotional state for me to be meeting new people. “Karaoke? With who?”

I saw Danny’s smile falter at my reaction and immediately felt guilt in my chest. “There’s not going to be many people there. Just a few friends from work.”

Slowly, I nodded. “Sure. Sounds like fun.”

“Especially…” From his jeans pocket, Dan pulled out a clear bag of cannabis with a grin. “When you have some of this stuff with you.”

My jaw dropped as he placed it in front of me. “You didn’t.”

“I did.”

With mock anger, I lightly slapped his arm. “You’ve gotta stop doing this, Dan.”

He held up his hands defensively. “I swear it’s only this time. When you’re out, I’ll let you know where to get it from.”

I bit my tongue as I stared at the bag, a mental debate going on in my head. Expectedly, I found myself snatching it from his hands and already starting to roll up a joint. “When’s the karaoke start?”

“Half past six.”

My head snapped up to face him again, panic sending my heart racing. “Didn’t you say it was just past?”

“It’s okay,” Dan leant forward, resting his elbows on the kitchen bench. “I told them we’d be a little late. Just…take your time.” He pointed to my rolled joints. “And maybe save that for when we get there, hm?” With that, he winked and walked into his room, closing the door behind him.

As soon as he was out of earshot, I bolted to my bag and frantically tried to pick out an outfit. I didn’t even know if it was a fancy thing or not. Makeup? Hair? Effort of any sort?

In the end, I decided on an orange strapless dress that flared out at the hips and stopped just below my knees, and a pair of brown flats. I held my hair back from my face with a yellow headband and put a light dust of maroon eyeshadow on my eyelids. When I checked my appearance in the mirror, I snorted. 

“I look like a weird sunset.” I said aloud to my reflection. “Or a fucking house fire or some shit.”

I grabbed my small backpack and a joint before yelling to Dan that I’d meet him outside. Then, after grabbing my lighter, I exited his apartment and practically leaped down the stairs to get outside and begin smoking the cigarette.

Instantly I felt better, and I knew that wasn’t a good thing. At first, smoking weed was only to help the butterflies that refused to go away during my performances. Though as more time passed and I got older, I had started to become more and more reliant on it.

By the time Dan had joined me outside, I had finished my joint and had thrown the cigarette away. He was dressed in a plain shirt and jeans, as well as his only pair of sneakers. I furrowed my brows.

“Don’t like sandals?” I questioned.

After looking down at his shoes, Dan rolled his eyes playfully. “I told you sweetheart, I’m an ageing man.” He lowered his voice when he said, “I’ve just got a few back problems is all.”

And just like that, more guilt slammed me in the chest.

“Fuck.” I sighed as we began walking to the carpark. “I’m sorry. I just can’t seem to shut my trap.”

Dan laughed. “It’s okay, Ambs. It’s just one of the beauties that comes with getting older.”

When we got to the car, I stomped my foot and crossed my arms, acting like a stubborn 3-year-old. “But you’re too young to be getting old!”

Somehow, Dan giggled at my immaturity before hopping in his car. I followed, buckling myself in as he replied, “You really know how to flatter an old fart.”

I grinned, satisfied with his response, as I focused on the outside scenery. Everything mixed together with the greens of the leaves and the purples of the sky and the oranges of the street lights as they came on automatically. I smiled with a satisfied hum, pressing my forehead against the cool glass window.

“I bet walking around under these lights is just magical.” I sighed dreamily.

“We can go for a night stroll some time, if you like.” The voice startled me and I whipped my head to face Dan. I grinned, thinking of it as nothing more than a friendly suggestion.

“I’d love nothing more.” And with that, I turned back to look out the window.

Soon enough, we pulled up outside a building with only 3 other cars in the outside parking lot. Dan parked his car close to the building and got out, waiting for me to join him. I did with barely any hesitance, which meant I was definitely high.

I only hoped I had enough sense to stop myself from doing something stupid.

Dan lead the way through the unlocked building door and up the 2 flights of stairs to reach yet another door. This one required his keys and he fumbled around for the right one. A thought suddenly popped in my head, and I tapped his shoulder right as he inserted the key to the lock. He turned his head to look at me, a brow risen in a silent question.

“I don’t look too out of it, do I?”

Slowly, his lips spread into a mischievous grin. He gave me a shrug as he unlocked the door and I immediately felt my mouth go dry. I walked inside when Dan gestured for me to.

“Is that a ‘yes’?” I hissed.

“Dan!” A voice called out, followed by a man with a cheery smile appearing from behind a wall. I jumped at the sudden new face and watched his eyes dart between mine and Dan’s. He pointed at me. “Amber?”

A grin spread on my face. The question of how he knew my name hadn’t even entered my mind. “In the flesh.”

His excitement seemed to spike as he began to walk toward me, his smile never faltering. As soon as he was near, he opened his arms and developed me in them, giving me a tight hug. I hugged him back swiftly, closing my eyes in the embrace.

It was like hugging a huge teddy bear.

“I’m Arin.” He said as he pulled away. “I’m sorry to make Dan drag you here, but he kept raving about you…I had to meet you as soon as you got in.”

“Oh?” I glanced up at Dan with a smirk. “Is that so?”

Danny groaned and rolled his eyes at his friend. “This man speaks only in lies.”

“I do not!” Arin cried out dramatically, holding his hand against his heart. I laughed at his exaggerations, which made him wink at me.

“Now!” He stepped forward and slung his arm over my shoulders, leading me in the direction of where he popped his head out from before. “How do you like karaoke? Actually, you don’t have to answer that, Dan told us everything.”

I turned my head to look back at him. “Told who what?”

He sighed heavily, crossing his arms as he followed behind us. “I only mentioned the karaoke night in Gern.” He lightly kicked Arin’s heel, making him stumble slightly. “Nothing else.”

“Ow!” Arin turned to glare at Dan only for a moment, before turning to look at me with a cheesy grin. He gestured to an open door on his right. “Shall we?”

Cautiously, I walked in. The room was spacious, with a long couch and a television screen and a coffee table with four microphones. In the room was a woman with brunette hair and winged eyeliner, a man with short brunette hair and lips pouted yet smiling, a man with short, curly hair, and a shorter woman with a pink pixie cut.

“Gang!” Arin called out, walking past me and towards the group on the couch. They all turned their heads to him, before turning to me once Arin gestured to me. “This is Amber. Amber, these are Ross, his wife Holly, Barry and my wife, Suzy.”

He gestured to each of them as he said their name, and they each smiled and gave me a small nod. The brunette woman stood up and approached me, embracing me with a smile. I blinked in surprise as I hugged her back.

‘They’re all so freaking nice.’

“It’s awesome to finally meet you!” Suzy gushed, leading me to the couch. “How was the flight in? Not too bad I hope.”

“Oh, no it was okay.” I said with a small smile. I liked her. “I crashed for like, 12 hours when I got to Dan’s place. His couch is so fucking soft.”

Suzy laughed. “I’m surprised he didn’t offer you the bed. He’s always such a gentleman to his guests.”

“He’s a gentleman in general.” I sighed, resting my head on my hand. “Poor guy was the one looking after me in my own house when I’d gotten too damn high. I felt so bad.”

My body froze up. The last thing I needed was to slip up about getting high, while also being high. I waited for what felt like hours in silence, waiting for the judgement to pummel me into the ground.

Instead, she simply smiled at me. “That’s just who he is. Always caring for others before himself.” She looked past me and I turned my head to follow her gaze. I found Dan and Arin on a sofa not too far away, laughing along with each other.

“One of these days, it’s gonna break him.” I whipped my head back to Suzy, to find her expression sombre. When we locked eyes, she gave me a small smile and rested her hand on my shoulder.

“I know you’ve only known each other a short time, but trust me when I say this:” Her expression softened. “You’re real special to him.”

I furrowed my brows and opened my mouth to ask her what she meant, when her entire expression changed and she focused on something behind me. “Going first, Dan?”

“Uh huh,” I turned to find Danny standing near us, using the television remote to scroll through the song list, “Since no one else wants to sing first.” I caught him glance over in our direction. “Or even duet with me.”

There was a voice that immediately yelled at me not to do it; that he was referring to Suzy. But it was quickly trumped by the weedy haze in my brain and I found myself asking, “Can I duet with you?”

Dan turned his head and grinned at me. “Thought you’d never ask.”

I stood quickly, finding a sudden burst of confidence surging through me. This was my peak, and it couldn’t have struck at a better time.

‘Singing’s so fun. If I could scream from the rooftops about how much I loved singing, I would. Also if I could scream about anything from a rooftop, I would scream about Dan—’

“How about this one?” Dan gave me a gentle nudge to bring me back down to earth and pointed to the selected song on screen. The trail of thought, whatever it was, flew out of my head as quickly as it came in and I grinned immediately when I read the song title.

“Let’s do it.”

When he selected the song and the backing track started playing, the conversations in the room were hushed and instead changed to cheers. Everyone knew this song. It was iconic.

“I got chills!” Dan screamed, surprising me and causing me to laugh, “They’re multiplyin’. And I’m losin’ control!” He pointed at me. “‘Cause the power you’re supplyin’…” He then dropped to his knees, jolting around like he was being electrocuted.

“It’s electrifyin’!”

Dan fell to the floor, earning a chorus of laughs from the small audience in the room, including me. I decided to put on an act and flip my hair pompously, blowing a kiss toward Suzy and grinning when she reached as if to catch it .

“You better shape up,” I walked over the top of Dan, swaying my hips and putting on a little show for the audience. “‘Cause I need a man.” I turned, leaning toward him as he got back up. “And my heart is set on you.”

“You better shape up,” I began to strut away from him again. “You better understand.”

I turned around and found Dan within mere inches of my face, grinning like a goof. Instead of jumping away, which was my first instinct, I grabbed a fistful of his shirt and leaned in even closer with a wicked smirk on my face. His eyes widened in surprise with his grin as big as ever and he backed up a little, which only urged me closer to him.

“To my heart I must be true!”

“Nothin' left,” Dan continued, shaking his head and keeping his eyes on me, “Nothin’ left for me to do.”

We both jumped away, though Dan captured my free hand in his and spun me around as we began the chorus. “You’re the one that I want! You are the one I want!”

He let me go, but I didn’t dare break his gaze as I stepped back. “Oo-oo-oo, honey!”

“The one that I want! You are the one I want!” I got close to him again and shimmied towards him slightly. Getting my hint, when I leant back and shimmied, he leant forward. “Oo-oo-oo, honey! The one that I want! You are the one I want! Oo-oo-oo.”

“The one I need!” I reached out and held his hand again, pulling him toward me with a grin and twirling myself under his arm. “Oh yes indeed!"

The backing track faded out and the room erupted in applause. Everyone cheered and I couldn’t stop the laughter that bubbled up from my throat. Suddenly, I found myself being lifted from the waist and hoisted over Dan’s shoulder, while he hollered and began spinning around. I held onto his torso and joined him in his cheering.

It was like I was in a dream, and I never wanted to wake up.


	10. Chapter 10

When I'd woken up the next morning, still on Dan’s couch — he did offer his bed when we got back from the karaoke night, but I stubbornly refused since it was his house and his couch was more than enough hospitality — I had instinctively gone in search of breakfast. I popped two pieces of bread in his toaster and grabbed the jar of Nutella from the pantry for when the toast was ready.

On a low volume, I began playing an acoustic track I had on my phone; one that I’d paid someone to record since I had no sort of equipment to record myself strumming it in Gern. It was a tune that I’d wanted to turn into a song with original lyrics and everything, but I had yet to find the right muse to spark inspiration.

I heard my phone buzz and saw a text from Brent, giving me an address and telling me to meet him at the studio at 10. I checked my phone’s time. 8:57. I had plenty of time.

What felt like seconds later, the toast popped up and I slathered a thick layer of Nutella on each slice, before going around and sitting on a barstool on the opposite side of the bench. The first bite was like an explosion of chocolate had happened inside my mouth and I moaned.

‘I’m gonna marry you one day, my dear Nutella.’

I heard a door knob turning and presumed Dan was awake, so I turned to face his room and smiled. He emerged from his room, shirtless and with his hair in complete disarray.

‘Certainly not the worst sight to see first thing in the morning…’

“Morning, sunshine.” I greeted, taking another bite of my toast.

He smiled lazily in reply, trying with great difficulty to keep his curly mane away from his face.

“G’morning.”

Dan’s voice, deep from just waking up, flowed through my ears and settled deep in my gut. He began shuffling toward me, stretching his arms up and letting out a monstrous yawn; in which I couldn’t stop myself from staring at his torso. His top half was mostly hairless, except for the patch of dark curls in the middle of his chest.

‘God you’re such a pervert.’

I quickly looked away, suddenly finding great interest in my slices of toast. “Sleep well?”

“Like a rock.” Dan searched his pantry and pulled out a tea bag, before going to a cupboard door and grabbing out a mug. The mug itself looked normal, but the illustrations looked all hand painted. Blues and reds swirled around the ceramic item, with a red star inside a white circle, and ‘Danny Sexbang’ in cursive next to it.

“Is that star…like your symbol or something?” I asked, pointing to the mug.

Danny looked down at the mug fondly. “Yeah. One of my fans gave this to me at one of our live shows. I wish I could remember which one. It felt like so long ago.” He popped the kettle on to boil. “So many of them give us all gifts. I’ve actually had to look at getting a storage shed because I’m starting to run out of room for all of them.”

I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading on my face. It was so heartwarming knowing he kept all of his fans’ gifts. Dan looked at me again, his own smile appearing on his face.

“Oh yeah, Brent wants me to meet him at his studio later today.” I mumbled through my toast. “I can grab a taxi if you don’t wanna—”

“I’m gonna stop you right there,” Dan held up a finger, instantly making me quiet, “And ask why you think I wouldn’t want to come with you to your first studio sesh?”

I blinked. “Um…in case you had, y’know…other things to do?”

“I don’t have Grump stuff to do ’til tomorrow.” He smiled. “Besides, I wouldn’t miss your reaction for the world.”

My brows furrowed slightly. My reaction to what? Seeing a studio for the first time? I supposed that made sense, since Gern didn’t have anything quite that fancy nearby that I could just waltz into.

“Did you just say ‘Grump stuff’?” I asked, once I realised what he said. He grinned at me.

“Arin, the big friendly guy you met yesterday,” Dan poured his tea once the kettle was done and began drinking it. “He and I have a show on Youtube called Game Grumps. We play video games, well he does mostly, and we talk over it.”

“Like a podcast?”

“Yeah, something like that.” Dan nodded. He smiled fondly. “Actually, Arin’s helped me out shit tons with a bunch of things in my life. I owe him so much.”

Again, I felt a pleasant warmth in my chest at his words. How did people as nice as him, and his friend from the sounds of it, exist in a selfish and greedy world?

“Anyway…what time did you need to be at the studio?”

“Oh,” I looked at my phone screen as I turned it on to bring up the text. “Brent said for me to meet him there at 10.”

Dan glanced at the watch on his wrist, then nodded. “I’ll go get ready then.”

Once he finished his tea, he placed his mug in the sink and retreated back to his room, shutting the door behind him. As soon as he was gone, I let out a breath I hadn’t realised I’d been holding in.

What was happening to me?

I decided to go for a more neutral colour scheme that day, with a soft beige for my pants and forest green for my tube top. When I was finished getting ready, I went outside the building to smoke a joint and was just finishing up when I heard a wolf whistle from nearby. I narrowed my eyes in the direction of the culprit and felt my skin crawl as I watched him approach me.

“Damn, mami. You should be wearing a way shorter dress to show off them hot legs.”

He looked to be in his 40’s at the earliest, short and stout with his greasy hair barely able to hide his bald spot. Even from where I was, I could smell the stench of too much alcohol mixed with tobacco.

“C’mon, man.” I groaned, flicking my joint away and crossing my arms. “It’s barely past 9.”

“So honest.” He slurred, a sleazy grin on his lips. “But you’re a real good fuck.”

Bile rose to the back of my throat, but I shoved it down. “Shove off, fuck face.”

“There ain’t no need to be so harsh, baby.” The man laughed. He stumbled closer toward me and reached for my arm. A surge of anger and adrenaline shot through me like electricity and I balled up my fist and swung it at his cheek. Pain shot through my knuckles as they made contact with his cheekbone, hard enough to knock him into the brick wall, which caused him to fall to the ground.

“I said: shove off.” I spat, shaking my hand. I sighed once I realised that my knuckles would start bruising up soon, but figured it was better than letting that sleaze lay a hand on me. I turned away to start walking to the carpark and found Dan, hand keeping the building door open since he’d just walked outside, with his jaw slack and his eyes wide. I huffed out a sigh and began walking towards where his car was parked.

“Amber!” I heard his footsteps grow nearer until he was beside me. When I glanced at him, concern was etched over every crevice of his face.

“I’m fine. I think you should be more worried about him.” A smirk curled the corners of my lips upwards as I got in the car, Dan following me shortly after. He started it up and began driving along the main road.

The ride was silent for about 5 minutes until Dan piped up. “What happened? Why’d you knock him out?”

“It wasn’t on purpose!” I cried, “The guy was off his nut and he reached for me and the next thing I knew, I was swingin’ a punch at him!” I felt Dan’s eyes on me and I met his gaze. “What?”

He shook his head, brows furrowed in annoyance as he looked back to the road. “I only wish I could have kicked him in his disgusting head.”

I couldn’t stop the smile from appearing on my lips. “Nah, that wouldn’t have done anything…” I waited for him to look back at me before adding, “We should have waited ’til he woke up, then simultaneously kept kicking him in the head until he got the message.”

It wasn’t long before we arrived in front of a small building in an industrial looking area. It looked relatively new and I assumed as much, considering all the other lots surrounding were filled with construction workers.

“This is it.” Danny said, grinning at me before hopping out of the car. This was the studio? I furrowed my brows.

Had I even told him the address?

Shaking my head to get rid of my thoughts, I followed Dan into the building. In front of us lay a long stretch of hallway with a few doors on either side, I presumed into various rooms that were for recording voice or instruments. Not long after we arrived, Brent came out from the second door on the left and I smiled at him in greeting. However, what surprised me most was when Dan walked ahead and greeted him with a hug. I tilted my head.

“You guys…know each other?”

Dan nodded, an arm around Brent’s shoulders. “Brent’s been managing Ninja Sex Party for years. Pretty much since the start.” After a couple pats to Brent’s shoulder, Dan joined me by my side once more.

“Wait a minute…” My brows furrowed as I pointed at Brent. “You said you had a friend in Los Angeles tell you about the Monarch…” He smiled at me knowingly and nodded.

As if a light had been switched on in my head, my jaw dropped and I swivelled to point at Dan. His arms were crossed over his chest and his eyebrows were risen expectedly. Why hadn’t I put two and two together before now? Was I that high that I forgot all the hints he gave me since Brent’s visit to the Monarch?

That fucker.

“That was you?!”

His lips formed a shit-eating grin and he nodded proudly. So many questions flew by my head at once that I became overwhelmed and I could only comprehend one to ask.

“Why?”

Dan shrugged, moving his hands to shove them into his jacket pockets. “Because you deserve the chance to make your dreams become a reality.”

If I wasn’t completely stoned, I was sure tears would spring into my eyes. He was right. This was my dream; and because of him, it was becoming a reality. Almost a decade performing at that lounge and all of a sudden, I was in Los Angeles testing and tugging on the ropes that may pull me into the professional music industry.

Completely overwhelmed with emotions, I crashed into him with a bone-crushing embrace. He giggled as he returned my hug, rubbing my back softly; unknowingly leading a trail of goosebumps on my skin. There was something about it, his arms around me, keeping me pressed to him, that made me feel so incredibly safe that I genuinely believed that I could have physically melted in his arms.

Were hugs always this good when high?

“Thank you.” I mumbled into his shoulder; he was too tall for me to say it in his ear. “I owe you everything.”

“Nonsense, sweetheart.” Dan mumbled into my neck, making goosebumps go up my spine. “This was all you.”

I pulled away only slightly, getting on my tip toes to press a kiss to his stubbly cheek. It lingered longer than I meant for it to, but I didn’t regret doing it even as my face heated up in a blush. With a grin, I turned to Brent. “And of course, thank you for giving me this chance. It’s fucking bonkers.”

He laughed. “‘Bonkers’ is definitely a good word for it. Now, if you’ll follow me,” Brent gestured us to follow him with his head. “I will show you the studio.”

“I’ll meet you guys in there,” Dan said as we were about to leave. I turned to him with a concerned expression. His face was a bright red and his gaze was focused on the door behind him. When he caught my gaze, he smiled gently at me. “I-I just need some air. I’ll see you guys soon.”

I nodded slowly, plastering a small smile on my face. “Alright. See you in there.” And with another nod, Brent and I turned and walked into the studio room that he had just come out of.

“This is the main room we use for our recordings.” He gestured ahead of him to the panels of nozzles and buttons of which I had no idea of their functions. Above them was a window, showing an empty room with a single microphone in front of a stool in the middle as well as a guitar leaning against the furthest wall. My gaze fluttered between the microphone and the buttons on the panels in front of us.

‘Press them. Press them all.’

“I know it’s tempting,” Brent’s voice filled my thoughts and I snapped my attention back to him, “But I wouldn’t touch any of these little buttons or nozzles here.. That’s expensive stuff.”

Pressing my lips together, I gave him an innocent smile and shrugged. “I wasn’t even gonna—"

“Everyone wants to press the buttons.” Brent winked, before gesturing with his head to a door I hadn’t even noticed. It was on the far left, directly next to the panel and window. “How ‘bout you belt us a tune?”

I blinked. Sure I usually performed when I was high; but firstly, these stakes were a lot higher and secondly, I hadn’t prepared a song to sing. My brain screamed at me to reject his offer and to save myself the embarrassment, but I found myself already walking toward the door.

The room was covered in sound proof foam and it smelt a bit musky. It felt like I wasn’t in control of my body as I found myself heading straight to the guitar. I slung the strap over my neck and strummed it.

Perfectly tuned.

I looked up and saw Brent sitting at the panel of expensiveness with an encouraging smile on his face. Next thing I knew, I was sitting on the stool and strumming and humming along to a tune I didn’t even realise I was familiar with. A small part of me was fearing the part where I’d have to start singing the lyrics if I didn’t remember knowing the song, but somehow I knew that it’d be okay. I opened my mouth, pressing my lips to the pop filter, and began.

“Of all the things you might, still want to satellite.” My eyes closed instinctually. “You took the star that you know won't shine as bright.”

I could see myself, engulfed by a setting sunlight, warming me from the inside out as I stood alone on a grassy field. Hills rolled over the horizon all around me and there was nothing except for me and the grass and the dusky sky.

And in the distance, I saw him.

“We're falling from the sky, and the look in your eye, is telling me that you won't be home tonight.”

A grin spread on my lips as I began swaying side to side. “No you won't be home tonight.”

As I inhaled, I opened my eyes and looked to the window, expecting to find Brent still watching me from the panel. While Brent was there, standing beside him was a familiar mass of curls with a starstruck look in his eye. I winked at him once I realised why the song I was singing was familiar. It was another Skyhill song.

“Hands on the water. I find: that it's impossible to make you change your mind.” My eyes fluttered closed again.

Dan was closer this time, in the endless field, holding his hand out to me. I held it and he pulled me to him, making me crash into his chest. He held me there and swayed with the breeze as it blew, whistling a sweet melody that only we could hear. When I looked up, there was nothing but wonder in his gaze as he stared down at me.

“And where the border…divides…I see the darkness that is haloed in your eyes…”

Slowly, I opened my eyes again to find the same two audience members grinning at me from the window. I watched Brent push a button, with not at all an ounce of jealousy coursing through me that he had the authority to push those expensive buttons, and heard his words come through a speaker and surround the room with his voice.

“So, Amber…what do you say we get this ball officially rolling?”


	11. Chapter 11

“Did you wanna come by the Grump office today?”

I looked up at Dan over the rim of my mug as I downed the rest of my coffee. I grit my teeth as it burned my throat only for a moment, but the pain subsided quickly and I found myself holding in laughter.

“I know. ‘The Grump office’. It’s a funny name.” Danny rolled his eyes with a smirk on his lips. He’d obviously had similar reactions from his other friends.

“It is a funny name!” I defended childishly, standing from my barstool and going over to the sink to rinse my mug. “And it’s the fact that you say it with a straight face too. I wouldn’t be able to.”

“I know you wouldn’t.”

I looked to my left and found Dan leaning on the bench, grinning at me. I rolled my eyes and grabbed a tea towel to dry the mug.

“It’s not my fault that I’m not used to the word ‘grump’ being used so casually.”

“What if I just kept saying it?” Danny challenged, to which I glared at him daringly. He inhaled deeply, pausing a moment, before repeating the word ‘grump’ to the point where it just became an incoherent humming noise that I wanted to get rid of.

I stormed up to him, twirling the tea towel around with my wrist. Once he realised what I was doing, Dan turned quickly to get away; but I whipped his backside before he could begin to move out of the way. He yelped and jumped slightly, pressing his hand to the area I whipped him. When he turned back to me, his eyes twinkled with the same mischief I had seen at my place, right before his friend interrupted us with the doorbell.

Only this time, there was no interruption.

His words were dangerously quiet, his lips twitching into a grin as he eyed me like a predator about to attack its prey. “You’re dead.”

I felt a sense of adrenaline shoot through me. Even though I knew it was all fun and games, I still felt my throat dry up instinctively. I began twirling the tea towel around again and found myself mirroring his grin, even going as far as to challenge him further.

“Only if you can catch me.”

He blinked, as if shocked at my boldness, but he quickly brought his focus back on his mission. As quick as a flash, he pounced at me and I somehow managed to slip by him and run to the furthest side of his couch.

Dan stared me down with a wicked grin and began stalking toward me slowly. My heart thumped loudly in my chest as I quickly scouted my escape routes. I barely had enough time to decide which would be the most effective when I saw Dan quickly making his way toward me around the head rest side of the couch.

Without another second’s thought, I began my fearless bolt around the cushion side and almost made it around, until I felt the waist band of my pants be pulled back. I squeaked in surprise as I felt two strong arms wrap around my abdomen, then push me into the couch. Dan quickly trapped me with his knees on either side of my thighs, settling his weight on top of me. I moved my hands to push at his chest, but he quickly captured them and pinned them above my head.

He stared down at me, his grin from cheeky to cocky. His eyebrow rose and he leant toward me tauntingly. “You were saying?”

I stared up at him, panting as I tried to catch my breath. My heart was still hammering against my ribcage, though I wasn’t sure whether it was because I was still surging from the adrenaline or if it was because I was slightly aroused from our position.

Neither of us broke eye contact as we stayed in our place, Dan hovering above with me at his complete mercy. Sure I could have fought back, but the only ways I knew how to get him off would have hurt him and I didn’t want that. I only then noticed that he was panting too and I grinned.

“Give you a workout, did I?”

My teeth snagged my bottom lip when I saw his grin widen. I caught his gaze leave mine for a brief moment and flick downwards, before coming back up to meet mine. My eyes flicked to his mouth; I watched as he bit his bottom lip gently, almost teasingly. He began leaning forward, our breaths intermingling…

But the moment was interrupted when we heard Danny’s phone buzzing on the kitchen counter. We both jumped at the unexpected noise and just like that, whatever moment we’d been in was gone. With a heavy sigh, Danny jumped off the couch to answer it.

I pressed my hands to my face to find my skin searing hot. I still felt his skin on my thighs, his fingers gripping my wrists, his eyes staring into my soul, his pearly white teeth gleaming, his very kissable lips…

‘You really need to chill out with that. You’re just friends. Don’t go make it weird.’

“You ready to go?” I heard Dan’s voice call to me from the kitchen and I bolted up and ran my fingers through my hair, trying may best to look as normal and as unfazed by the last few minutes as possible.

“Ready when you are.”

His eyes flicked down, as if scanning me, then back up as a smirk crept on his lips. He didn’t look much better off than me, but he could pass it off. I, on the other hand, knew I looked as red as a tomato and dared not to look in any reflective surfaces in case I caught an embarrassing glance.

We exited the apartment and got to his car, soon driving off in the direction of the office. Some parts of the route were familiar to me, while others I couldn’t remember for the life of me. When we arrived, I told Danny to go on ahead while I had a joint. With hesitance, he agreed and left me outside on my own.

I didn’t understand his reluctance until I remembered what happened the last time I had a joint outside a building on my own. It was bizarre, how it managed to just slip my mind and I’d mentally pushed it to the back burner, as if it was a normal thing. It wasn’t normal; or at least, it shouldn’t be normal.

It wasn’t long until I entered the building and went up to the office. The first familiar face I found was Suzy, who greeted me with a warm smile from her desk. I walked over to her as she stood from her chair.

“I think it’s about time for my break.” She said to me, gesturing with her head for me to follow her. “You want anything? Coffee, tea, water, La Croix…”

I scoffed. “La Croix?”

“I know right? Blame Arin. He loves the stuff. I don’t really get it but…whatever.”

We ended up in a kitchen looking area and I took a seat at one of the barstools while Suzy got what she was grabbing. I glanced around; I hadn’t been here since the karaoke night and I’d only seen one room. Everything else was completely new to me.

“How are you liking Los Angeles so far? Has Dan been a good tour guide?”

“It’s definitely different.” I laughed. “A lot noisier than Gern. So many sirens at night. It’s like every 10 minutes, someone dies.”

“Yeah, you get used to that quickly.” She answered with a smile. “When I first moved here, I remember thinking the same thing. Arin and I would always complain about sirens continuously going off in the middle of the night while we were trying to sleep, and…”

I found myself watching Suzy talk rather than listening to what she was saying. I knew it wasn’t very polite of me, but my mind was occupied with the karaoke night. The short time in which we spoke, we’d found a common conversation topic in Dan, though the last comment she made before he and I duetted still poked at my curiousness.

When her mouth had stopped moving and she’d turned to grab something out of the microwave, I spoke up.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” She turned back around with an expression that said ‘Go ahead’, so I continued. “On Monday night, you said something about Dan thinking I was special…” I rested my chin on my hand, with my elbow propped on the kitchen bar. “What did you mean by that?”

She stopped her movements, her head partly turned to me. Her gaze was fixated on the ground and she looked like she was in a mental debate. Finally, she turned fully to me and smiled softly.

Suzy grabbed a nearby stool and sat down across from me. “I dunno how Dan would feel about me saying this, but…” She leant slightly toward me. “As soon as he got back from New Jersey, he just wouldn’t shut up about this girl named Amber that he met in a local lounge.”

I blinked a couple times, taking a moment to register her words. Dan told his co workers about me long before I even knew they existed. The reason as to why he would want to tell them about me so soon would forever boggle my mind.

“He went on about how it felt like she was singing just to him.” Suzy continued, “And how he ditched his friends on a night of bowling just to see if she’d show up for karaoke.” A wave of guilt slammed into me, but she wasn’t done yet. “Then he told us that he saw her working one morning at the diner nearby, and had actually convinced his friends to get breakfast there. And how she got super high when he went to visit her on his last night there, and she crashed on his lap while he sang one of his old Skyhill songs to her. Hands On the Water, I think he said it was.”

I was holding my breath, hanging onto every word Suzy said. She took a bite of her lunch, smiling fondly while she gave me time to process what she was saying. I hadn’t realised that my presence had affected him so much; especially when I had convinced myself that the immense happiness I felt when I was with him was one sided. My face suddenly became very hot and I knew I was blushing.

“And then he told Brent; about this Amber girl at the local lounge in New Jersey,” She said, finishing up her lunch, “And asked if he’d go and check her out; possibly give her a record deal.” She grinned and stood up, putting her plate in the nearby sink. “And the next thing you know, the New Jersey girl is sitting in the Grump office because Dan invited her ‘round to hang while he recorded Game Grumps episodes.”

With that as her final statement, she left me alone in the kitchen. It was bizarre, to say the least, to hear about someone enjoying my company as much as Dan said he did. I didn’t have too much time to process everything Suzy had said because from behind me, I heard a door open and two voices erupt from it. I turned and saw Arin walking out and talking to someone behind him, before heading en route in Suzy’s direction.

Following his exit was Dan, and he immediately found my gaze and smiled. As he made his way over to me, I grinned cheekily at him.

“Didn’t realise you enjoyed our time in Jersey so much.”

He tilted his head as he took a seat next to me. “What do you mea—”

“I had an unnamed source spill the beans on what the people here seem to know about me.” I said softly.

His brows furrowed for a moment, until he understood what I was talking about. Danny’s eyes widened only slightly, before he sighed heavily and directed his gaze elsewhere. A light pink dusted his cheeks.

“Amber—”

“I think what you told them was really sweet.” I smiled softly at him, even though he wasn’t looking at me. “And now I know why Hands On the Water was in my subconscious the other day.”

He looked over at me. “You spoke to Suzy, didn’t you?” I mimed a zip going over my lips and Dan groaned. “Damn it, Suze.”

“Hey. Don’t go blaming her.” I tilted my head at him. “I was the one who pried. I remembered what Arin said on karaoke night and I was curious to know. She didn’t say much, honest.”

Dan sighed again, holding his face in his hands. “That’s so embarrassing.”

“Hey.” My voice was soft, like I was coaxing a child to open up about what was bothering him. I brought his hands from his face, forcing his attention back to me.

“Don’t be embarrassed for something like that.” I whsipered. I gave his cheek a gentle stroke, trailing my fingers along his jawline. His lips twitched into a small smile and I grinned back.

“Besides, it’s always nice to know the feeling between two people is mutual.”

“Dan!” We both turned to find Arin waving Dan over frantically. When he saw me, he called out, “Hey Amber! Mind if I borrow him for a few hours?” With a chuckle I turned back to Dan, who had held my gaze the entire time. I gestured to Arin with my head.

“Best get back to the raging, huh.”

It all happened in a heartbeat; he slipped his hand over mine, leant forward and gave my cheek a gentle kiss. Dan grinned as my face flushed bright red, giving my hand a gentle squeeze before running off to join Arin once more.


	12. Chapter 12

The next day I kept mostly to myself. Ventured out along the nearby streets of L.A, made a mental note of some locations I wanted to revisit with Dan when he had the time, then finished off the afternoon by buying more weed and some brownie mix from a nearby corner store.

Sure, they wouldn’t be nearly as good as Sarah’s homemade ones, but they were the next best thing.

Dan had left a note on the kitchen bench for when I woke up, saying that he would be back by early evening at the latest. So I had until he came back to finish up cooking my brownies and since I started them in the late afternoon, I knew it wouldn’t be likely.

The brownies had been mixed and placed on a tray in the oven when Dan had come back. I was sitting on the ground with my back against the oven door when I heard the door open upon his arrival. I didn’t open my eyes; instead, I felt my lips curl into an instinctive smile at the notice of his presence.

His footsteps grew in volume until they stopped right in front of me. After a few moments of silence, I craned my neck up before lazily opening my eyes. His hands were propped on his hips, an eyebrow cocked upwards and his head tilted.

“Sweetheart?”

I closed my eyes and hummed happily.

“What are you doing?”

“Makin’ brownies.” I grinned. “I’d offer you some, but they’re kinda laced with weed.”

“Dang. You’re making weed brownies without me?”

My eyes shot open again at his words, and immediately I felt guilty. “Oh, I’m sorry. D-did you want me to wait—”

“No, Amber, it’s okay.” Dan giggled. He took a deep breath in, going as far as to close his eyes and puff out his chest. He exhaled with a sigh, and I could have sworn his pupils had dilated.

“You just better keep an eye on ‘em and make sure they’re not all gone by tonight.”

With a wink, he left me and went to his room. My eyes fluttered shut once more. I could smell the brownies becoming more and more cooked as the seconds ticked by. Those agonising, slow seconds that felt like hours of waiting for those damn brownies to cook. 

“Mind if I join you?”

I snapped my eyes open, finding Dan in a loose shirt and fluffy pyjama pants. Similar to me, except I had a singlet instead of a shirt. I gestured to the floor across from me with a grin on my face.

“By all means.”

I followed him down with my eyes as he sat on the floor, directly across from me with his legs spread either side of me.

“How was…uh…work? It is work, yeah?” It felt a bit weird to be calling something that seemed so casual as ‘work’, but he was getting paid to do it. So technically, the video game podcast stuff was his actual job.

‘What a world we live in.’

Danny gave a shrug. “It was fine. Nothin’ spesh. What have you been doing while I’ve been out? Apart from the obvious.”

I let out a relaxed sigh, the warmth from the oven heating my back pleasantly. “Just did a little exploring. Some places I passed by, because I know I’ll need some pleasant company to accompany me around.”

His eyebrow cocked up, a smile playing at the corners of his lips. “Oh? Lucky for you, I know an excellent tour guide who can definitely show you anywhere you wanna go.”

With a nod, I said, “Ah, yes. I’d imagine Arin would be super familiar with this area by now.”

The timer for the brownies went off and I caught Dan roll his eyes playfully before he stood up. Meanwhile, I practically jumped up and yanked the brownies out of the oven to put on the cooling rack. I let out an excited squeal as I gazed at them.

“Take that, Sarah! I can cook brownies!”

I cut them into twelfths and picked one up to eat. Despite being fresh from the oven and the searing heat on my fingertips, I still took a bite and swallowed it instantly. It burned the roof of my mouth and left a trail of fire as it went down my throat, yet I found myself going for another bite.

Dan’s hand stopped me, following it up with a deep chuckle. “Maybe you should wait for them to cool.”

Snapping my head toward him, I pointed up at him and leant towards him. My aim was to be threatening; though judging from the grin plastered on Dan’s face, it wasn’t working.

“You’re only saying that so I drop my guard and you can shovel down all the brownies you want. Well, jokes on you!” I popped the rest of the brownie in my mouth. My eyes started to water from the heat, but I pushed through and ate it in all it’s burning hot glory.

“I’m a stubborn piece of shit, and no one can win against that!”

The look on Dan’s face was one I could only describe as the look a parent would give their child when they did something stupid. I would have been offended, if my mouth wasn’t on fire and the skin on the roof of my mouth wasn’t peeling off by the second.

“‘Scuse me.”

I turned to go to the fridge for a bottle of water, unscrewing the top and skulling half the bottle in one go. My face exploded in heat when I put the bottle down and found Dan watching me the entire time.

“What?”

He shook his head, a mix of intrigue and wonder in his eyes. “You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met. You’re just so…you.”

My feelings changed from confused to fond within a millisecond of looking into his eyes, and a gentle smile formed on my face. I felt my heart rate physically double in speed at the compliment, or at least I hoped it was a compliment. I was speechless, but Dan didn’t seem to notice as I watched the lightbulb in his head go off and he snapped his fingers.

“Let’s order Thai food.”

I grinned at the suggestion and covered the brownies with a tea towel to let them cool. While Danny ordered the food via his phone, I flopped onto the couch and scrolled through my list of songs to play on his speaker. With a grin, I connected my phone to the speaker and queued the song to play.

It started just as Dan hung up and his face contorted as he listened. I watched him all the while, a grin plastered on my face. He looked over to me with his head tilted.

“Is this Elvis?”

I nodded eagerly. “It’s called ‘Return to Sender’. You know he made movies and stuff during his music career?” I stared up at the ceiling, the joint from earlier hitting its peak. “He always played the same character but he made 30 movies. Can you believe that? 30 fucking movies with the same exact plot and the same exact settings and all that shit.”

I noticed a dip in the cushions when Dan sat near me on the couch. “Big fan?”

“My mother was.” There was a pause. A long one. I hadn’t discussed my family in any sort of context since I was kicked out. I felt an uncomfortable pang in my chest, and knew I had to dodge this topic quickly. “Maybe she still is. I don’t know. Point is, I know too much about Elvis and I have to admit, some of his music’s really catchy.”

From my glance over at Dan, I could tell he wanted to ask more about my family. However, I only responded with a look that I hoped read as: ‘I’ll tell you eventually, just not now’. It seemed to work as Dan gave me a small nod and turned his attention away.

Not long after a comfortable silence had settled, the intercom buzzed; letting us know someone was here. Without another moment’s hesitation, I jumped up and ran out of the apartment screaming, “I’ll get it!”

Somehow I managed to compose myself by the time I reached the building door. With a smile and a ‘thank you’, I got the food and refrained from bolting up the stairs to Danny’s apartment.

“Honey, I’m ho—”

It was almost too comical to be real. I was frozen in the doorway once the door had swung shut behind me, glaring toward the mass of curls in the kitchen. He turned to me, excruciatingly slow, his cheeks puffed up and chocolate crumbs covering his fingertips.

“Mr Something Daniel Avidan.” My tone was quiet yet demanding as I walked up to him, calmly placing the plastic bag of food on the kitchen bench. I craned my neck to look at him. “What’s in your mouth?”

Dan made a sound, but I couldn’t understand it. I furrowed my brows, so he repeated, “Leigh.”

“Leigh?” I repeated. That was his first name? It was so…nice. I shook my head to bring me back to the moment and repeated in a more threatening tone, “Mr Leigh Daniel Avidan. What is in your fucking mouth?”

He blinked at me, swallowed, then mumbled, “Nothing.”

With my thumb and forefinger, I gripped his chin and brought it down to my eye level. “Open.”

Reluctantly, Dan opened his mouth slightly. I already knew he was eating the brownies; but for dramatic effect, I gasped and dropped my grip from his chin.

“Caught in the act!” I turned away dramatically, walking to the other side of the kitchen bench again. “I can’t believe you’d betray me like this!”

“Please, Amber!” Dan played along, reaching for me. “I promise it didn’t mean anything!”

“Save it!” I pressed my hand to my heart and faked a sob, though I couldn’t stay in character for long and found myself giggling. Dan joined me as he grabbed our food out of the bag.

“But seriously, how many did you have?”

He looked up at me with a guilty smile. “Only 2.”

“2?!” I gasped, “That’s one more than what I’ve had. Not fair!”

“Save the desert for after dinner, hm?” Danny grinned as he handed out the cutlery.

“Speak for yourself.” I muttered before digging into my food.

We were both done quickly, with our intake of weed giving us the munchies, and both had another brownie each with the excuse of it being our desert. As I began putting them in a container to put away, I heard Danny’s voice from beside me.

“You wanna dance?”

The urge to make a joke of it immediately faded once I saw the sincerity in his eyes. I tilted my head, mentally asking him what song we would dance to, to which he grinned and went over to his speaker to turn it on. He then connected his phone via Bluetooth and started the track on his device.

I couldn’t help but immediately notice that the track playing sounded different to the original, though I couldn’t place how. When he gestured his hand to me, I reached for it. He tugged on my hand gently and thankfully, I caught my footing before I stumbled into him. I felt his hand on the small of my back and I gazed up at him, unable to hide the smile on my face. I linked my arm around his neck, under his mop of curls and watched his smile grow ever so slightly. I was still trying to figure out why this version of the song sounded slightly off in terms of tune.

Then, Danny opened his mouth.

“There used to be a greying tower alone on the sea.” His voice was soft, gentle; a vast contrast to his powerful vocals he usually sang with. I watched him, entranced, as he swayed with me; thankful that this time I wasn’t as high as a kite. His gaze was off, focusing on something in the distance over my head. He inhaled to sing the next line, but I cut in before he could start.

“You became…” His eyes snapped down to me, a pleasant look of surprise cast on his face like a beam of sunshine. I grinned, leaning my head on his shoulder and craning my neck to keep his gaze. “The light on the dark side of me.”

“Love remained,” I felt my heart skip a beat when he hit the high note, “A drug that's the high and not the pill.”

“But did you know, that when it snows, my eyes become large and…” I closed my eyes, taking a deep inhale to breathe in Danny’s scent. “The light that you shine can be seen?”

I opened my eyes and felt my breath hitch when I found him smiling down at me, with what could only be described as adoration in his eyes. A grin spread on my face as the song picked up, leading into the chorus. Spontaneously, I found myself leaning back with my arm around Dan’s neck as leverage, my head facing the ceiling, feeling the urge just to scream from the rooftops. Dan adjusted his arm so it wrapped around my waist, making sure I didn’t fall.

“Baby!”

He laughed as I brought myself back, locking eyes with him and letting out a soft giggle. We both sang the chorus, Dan taking the lower harmony. “I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.”

Having him sing to me was one thing, singing to each other was something completely different. The connection we shared in our love and passion for singing could be seen and heard for miles, and it was absolutely beautiful.

“Oh, the more I get of you the stranger it feels, yeah.” As I heard the song start to fade out, I let Dan take the last line for himself.

“Now that your rose is in bloom,” His voice became softer with every word, and I found myself intoxicated by it. “A light hits the gloom…”

He paused, taking his hand from mine to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. He cradled my face in his hand and I even felt myself lean into him. I couldn’t look away from him even if I wanted to. His gaze stayed warm and welcoming and I was tempted to jump in and swim in his honey pool eyes.

“On the grey.”


	13. Chapter 13

A groan escaped my throat as the silver ball fell down, past the two bumper switches, and into the unknown abyss below. I pointed to the blurry blob of colour just outside of my peripherals, knowing he was wearing a cocky smile.

“Shut up.”

“You talked such a tough game when we started.” Arin smirked, leaning against the pinball machine with his arms crossed. “Where’d all that fire go?”

“Disappeared; along with all the weed.”

I gave him a lazy smile as I stepped aside and gestured to the empty space in front of me. Arin stepped up to the pinball machine, confidence oozing off of him.

“If you have any of that glorious substance on you, not only will I dob you into Suzy but I will also resent you for not sharing.”

With a grin and a shake of his head, Arin began his game. I watched the ball as it flew around, then switched the focus to his fingers strategically timing when to press which side button for which bumper. As I watched him play in a silent awe, Arin suddenly spoke.

“It’s honestly super great to have you here.” He glanced up at me to smile, before his attention was back on the game. “Dan’s already told me his story of how the two of you met, but I always like to hear both sides.”

The machine made a loud sound and Arin gave a victorious fist pump, I presume because he cleared a level, before he engrossed himself in the game again.

“So, if you’re alright with it…can you describe that night you met him? At the lounge.”

I blinked, slightly surprised at his request. After hearing Suzy’s confession of what Dan had told about me to his coworkers already, I was surprised they weren’t sick of hearing about me. Or from me, for that matter.

“Um…yeah, okay.” I looked off to the nearby wall, trying to visualise that night to the best of my ability. “I was three-quarters through my set. I only had one more song to sing before I was done for the night. I remember thinking, ‘Man. When I get home, I’m gonna smoke a shit ton of weed then go to bed.’.” Arin snorted and I couldn’t help but giggle.

“But anyway, then I saw this guy walk in and sit down at the bar. I remember thinking that he looked like Doc and Marty had plucked him from the ‘80s and just taken him to the wrong time era. Poofy hair. Leather jacket. Killer smile…”

I froze as a mental replay of my description played back in my mind. Arin glanced at me with a smirk on his lips and I felt myself blush. After clearing my throat, I continued.

“So he walked in and sat at the bar. Got a beer, I think. I sang the last song in my set, made eye contact with him a few times. Then after the performance, I went to the bar…”

As I was recalling the night out loud, certain things began to dawn on me that I hadn’t realised initially on the night. “Which…I didn’t usually do after performances…”

”And he started some small talk, which lead to us discussing if he’d show up to karaoke the next night because I was going…” I paused, furrowing my brows in realisation. “Which…I never did, either…”

Another victorious sound from Arin brought my attention back to him. I smiled at his mini victory celebration from his new high score. He looked over to me with a grin.

“It’s amazing,” He mumbled, though it was loud enough for me to hear him, “The difference in perspectives and how it can change so much…”

I would have been lying if I said I didn’t want to pry, but I resisted. If I was ever dying to know about Dan’s thoughts on that night, I would just ask him and hear the answer from his own perspective. With a glance at my watch, I gave Arin a couple of pats on the shoulder and thanked him for hanging out with me. Before I could walk too far, he called my name and I turned to face him.

“He really cares about you, Amber.” Arin smiled softly. “He hasn’t been this happy in a while.”

My brows furrowed slightly but I nodded anyway. I wasn’t sure of the reason for his unhappiness or how I was helping, but maybe I’d find out later on. I gave him one last smile before heading to Suzy’s desk and bidding her goodbye. Lastly I went over to where Dan was situated. He was talking with his bandmate, Brian, at a low volume when I approached them.

Brian was the first one to look up and he acknowledged me with a polite smile, which I returned effortlessly. When Dan glanced at me, his eyes lit up and he smiled.

“You all good?”

“Yeah, just about to head off actually.” I fidgeted with my fingers. “What should I do about—”

“Here.” From his pocket, he pulled out his building key. “I have another one in my car, and the spare key’s under the mat in front of my door.”

I looked from the key to him. “Are you sure?”

“Well I don’t know what else you plan on doing for the rest of the time I’m stuck here.” He grinned, reaching out and grabbing my hand, forcing the key into it. I stared at it for a moment before smiling at him.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime, sweetheart.” And with a smooth wink, he turned back to Brian and they continued right from where they left off.

With that, I made a swift exit and caught an Uber back to Dan’s place. When I got inside the apartment, I dialled a familiar number in my phone and pressed the device to my ear.

“Whaddup?”

“Rick! Hey!” I flopped onto the couch. “Not missing me too much, I hope.”

“Me? No way!” Ricky laughed. “How can I when I know you’re in Los Angeles for a record deal?”

My first recording would be taking place the next day and I still hadn’t finished writing a song to perform. To be completely honest, I hadn’t even started. Thankfully, it was only the test run to work out how to mix the guitar and vocals together. But there was that part of me that wanted to whip up something spectacular to impress Brent, so I could prove to him and myself that I deserved this chance.

“Just promise me you’ll remember who your first real audience was when you become the next biggest independent artist.” Ricky said.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” I teased, propping my head up on my hand and my elbow on the arm of the couch. “I can’t hear people who aren’t famous enough for me.”

I heard Ricky shudder on the other line. “I know you’re kidding, but snobbish really doesn’t suit you, Amber.”

“And since when did it suit anyone, Rick?” I asked with a chuckle. “Tell Sarah I said hey, yeah? I can’t seem to get a hold of her.”

“Oh yeah, she’s been super busy at the hospital. Day after day, there’s someone to save.” He sighed. “Poor girl hasn’t had a break, but…I’ll try and get a hold of her for you.”

“Thanks Rick.”

“Sure thing. Oh hey, quick question.” I let the silence between us be an indicator for him to continue. “Do you know a…’Maria Hunter’?”

My heart plummeted to the floor as soon as her name was uttered. My throat closed up and my chest constricted painfully. I pressed my lips together and shook my head defiantly, before realising he couldn’t see me.

“No, I don’t.”

“Huh. It was so weird, she came into the Monarch yesterday asking around for you.” I suddenly found it very hard to breathe. “And even stranger, Bruce looked like he was ready to knock her the fuck out for whatever reason. Are you sure you don’t recall—”

“Hey, Rick? I…have to go.” I needed air, and to push that name back in the deepest pits of my mind where it belonged. “It was great chatting with you.”

“O-oh, sure. See ya ‘round, Hot Head.” And with that, Rick hung up.

I practically jumped up and paced around the apartment, trying to find any sort of distraction to ignore that fact that Rick had just told me that my mother had been looking for me. What did she want? After 10 years of nothing, she suddenly wants to see me again? It didn’t make sense.

When I stopped walking, I found myself in Dan’s bedroom. His scent engulfed me, loosening the strain on my chest as his entire aura surrounded me. I glanced around at his pictures on the walls and his other memorabilia scattered around the room and smiled. I took a seat on his mattress, before flopping back so I was laying on his bed.

Out of pure curiosity, I searched up ‘Game Grumps’ and clicked on the first video I saw. The intro made me giggle slightly, since I could hear that it was clearly Arin doing both voices. I found myself only listening to the two guys talking instead of worrying about the gameplay, and soon realised why they had such a large following. After watching a couple of their videos, the title of one of the suggested videos caught my eye.

‘Wind Waker HD: Fresh Air - PART 19 - Game Grumps’

I checked the length of the video; just under 17 minutes. A bit longer than the other ones I watched. Maybe they talked about some more serious topics.

At first, it seemed like a more chill version of one of their gameplay videos. But then, Dan began opening up about his past. Truly opening up. Hearing his struggles at such a young age, how his mind worked in connecting the most bizarre things together, how he managed to break free from his medication; I found myself beginning to tear up. I sobbed from sadness, and how it was so unfair that a man as pure as Dan had a mind that led him down such dark pathways; and I wept with joy, from how he managed to overcome his struggles and break through to the other side.

I kept replaying the video, over and over again, just listening to Dan tell the same stories each time. I found myself shaking my head, just in complete disbelief that he had gone through something like this and had found the strength to break away from it. He’d survived a battle that so many people had lost.

And he did it on his own.

“Ambs? You here?”

I snapped my head away from my phone screen once I heard his voice. His real voice, just in the other room. I bolted upright from where I’d been laying on his mattress as I heard his footsteps approaching. He peaked open the bedroom door, a gentle smile falling on his face.

“What’re you doin’ in here?” There was a slight pause, and a furrow of his brows. “Are you alright?”

Without a second of hesitation, I jumped off his bed and crashed into him with a tight hug. I heard his surprise reverberate from his chest, but I refused to loosen my hold around him. He hugged me back with a soft chuckle, stroking my hair gently. After a moment, he repeated his question with more of a serious tone.

“You’re so strong.” I whispered. “I saw that episode of Game Grumps. Where you spoke about your OCD…” He tensed up. “I…I want you to know how proud I am of you. No matter how many years ago that stuff happened, you got through it. And you came out so strong on the other end. I’m just…incredibly amazed at your strength, Dan. God. I feel so blessed to know you.”

I pulled back to look up at him and found his eyes to be glassy. He silently smiled down at me as a tear fell from his eye. I reached up and wiped it away with my thumb.

“You’re such a beautiful person, Dan. Both inside and out.” I watched his eyes as they searched mine; for what, I didn’t know. He bought his hands up to cup my face and I sighed happily. “I just want to tell you, despite being years late: I’m so incredibly proud of yo—”

My throat refused to make a sound. My lips refused to talk. My eyes refused to stay open when he was that close to me. The only reaction my body would make was its immediate response to Dan kissing me, and that was to kiss him back.

My arms wrapped around his torso as I bought him as close to me as I could. I opened my mouth and let him pour himself out to me, greedily taking all that he would give. He guided me, opening his heart and leading the way inside. I inhaled sharply when our noses collided; the intimacy catching me by genuine surprise.

I felt like I was falling in a black abyss, with the only thing keeping me from flying off was the secure hold Dan had on me.

When he pulled away, I waited a moment before opening my eyes; my first thought being that it was all a cruel dream conjured by a lovesick mind. But instead, as I got my bearings back, I was greeted with a sight much sweeter: Dan’s kind eyes held me in an adoring gaze, making my heart start pounding so fast I was scared it would explode inside my chest. The words he whispered next made tears spring into my eyes.

“Thank you.”

I shook my head at him, smoothing his hair away from his face and tracing his jawline with my fingers.

“You have no reason to thank me for something you got through on your own.”

Despite my stubborn attempts to keep my composure, a single tear managed to escape the confines of my eye and slip part way down my cheek, only to be kissed away by Dan’s soft lips. He then moved his head and kissed my other cheek, before moving to kiss both of my closed eyes and finishing with a peck on my nose. Such an intimate string of kisses, followed by four words that made my heart sing.

“Lay with me. Please.”

Hand in hand, we walked the short distance to his bed where Dan then crawled onto the mattress and laid down along the length of it. I hesitated for a moment, worried that all of this would be forgotten about or regretted by him in the morning. But when Dan outstretched his arms to me, I couldn’t hold myself back from laying beside him.

Letting him hold me was one of the most comforting feelings I’d ever felt, especially since we’d both managed to find a comfortable position within seconds. His arms wrapped around my shoulders and our legs entangled like vines; and it was as I was dozing off that I knew a moment like this couldn’t be laughed off by two buds who’d gotten a little too friendly.

No. This was the point of no return.


	14. Chapter 14

I woke with a quiet moan, blinking the sleep away from my eyes. It was pitch black in the room, which meant that we had fallen asleep and stayed that way well into the night. However, now that I was awake, I knew I wouldn’t be going back to sleep any time soon. I tried to move, only to find Dan’s arms holding me captive around the waist and his body moulded to the shape of my back.

“Oh, Dan.” I sighed, a soft giggle leaving my lips.

As gently as I could, I pried his arms away from me and rolled off the mattress. I heard him stir for a moment and mumble my name before silence greeted me once more. I turned and looked at the only source of light in the room, coming from the alarm clock situated next to Dan’s bed.

3:04am.

Silently, I shuffled out to the main area of the apartment and sat at the kitchen bench. I reached across to grab the notebook and pen Dan kept for writing his lists and let my muse carry the pen across the paper.

With the events that happened literally right before I passed out, my mind was consumed with all sorts of lyrics to write for my first draft of an original song. Instinctively, I found myself steering away from the cliches of other songs on love with the lyrics I wrote. Instead of writing everything as if it were perfect, I highlighted the flaws so that the good could be appreciated more.

“What are you doing up at this hour?”

I jolted from the sudden noise behind me as it broke my concentration. Whipping my head around, I saw the silhouette of a tall man with poofy hair and it killed me that I couldn’t see his face. Even worse, with the light streaming in from his window, he could definitely see mine.

And that included the blush creeping on my cheeks.

“I couldn’t get back to sleep, so I, uh…” I trailed off as I watched him get nearer to me, until he was mere inches away. I could feel his body heat radiating off him invitingly. I just wanted to bury my face into his curls and never let go; of this moment, of this feeling.

But what if he did?

“What about you?” I asked, turning myself on the barstool so I fully faced him. “Shouldn’t young men be getting their beauty sleep?”

I wished I could have seen his facial expression to that, but the light in my eyes made it close to impossible.

“I could say the same about beautiful young women such as yourself.” Dan cooed, moving his hand to caress my cheek. I leant into it, letting out a sigh through my nose.

“Are you alright?” He whispered.

A smile fell onto my lips. “I’m so much better than alright.”

I was surprised at my honesty, but I couldn’t sugar coat it. I hadn’t felt this good in so long, and it finally felt like my heart was full. Full of so much happiness all from the man who was standing in front of me.

“Are you?”

I watched him as he bent down to match my height on the barstool. From the shift in height, a stream of light from the window to the right hit his face and I could see his features. His eyes were glimmering balls of wonder and his lips carried a smile so genuine that I couldn’t help but mirror it. His other hand came up and began to caress my other cheek, mirroring the actions of the first hand. 

“I feel like I’m on top of the world.” He admitted.

The smile on my face grew, despite me thinking it was impossible to grow any more than it already had. I leant forward and embraced him, my fingers playing with his curls as his hands trailed down my front and wrapped around my torso.

“So this wasn’t just a moment?” I whispered hesitantly. He tightened his embrace and I felt him shake his head, his curls tickling my nose.

“To me, this has felt like a long time coming.” I heard him inhale by my hair and I sighed contently.

“Me too.” I admitted, being met with a silence that felt like it had just solidified our words.

It wasn’t a moment. This was a real thing. And I couldn't have been happier.

“So why are you awake?” Danny asked once I pulled away.

“I got a muse spike,” I shrugged, “And I needed a song for later tonight. So…I started writing it.”

“Tonight?” He tilted his head. “Are you going in to record it?”

“I might be…” I grinned. “You wanna come?”

“Is that a question I need to answer?”

“You’ve been buried in work recently.” I shrugged. “Maybe you have more important things to do.”

“Nothing’s more important to me than that.”

His words made my heart skip a beat, especially since he didn’t miss a second once I’d finished my sentence. I ran my fingers through his hair with a fond smile.

“I’m sure there are many things far more important than this in the world, but if you say so.” I gave his cheek a quick peck, feeling his skin wrinkle as he smiled from my kiss. “Now go back to sleep. I’ll be there in a minute.”

After a moment of silence, Danny stood to his regular height and I felt the inklings of a victory start to course through my veins.

That was until he picked me up and hoisted me over his shoulder.

I wasn’t sure if my surprised squeal was because of what he did or that he had the strength to do it.

“Dan!” I laughed, trying my best to be quiet. “I need to finish writing!”

“Well young ladies need their beauty sleep!” Dan countered as he began to carry us to his bedroom. I had to think of a compromise before my muse fazed out and the song was only left half finished.

“Wait!”

Dan stopped in his tracks, just before the doorway of his bedroom.

“What if we watched a movie instead?” He stayed silent, obviously considering my offer. “Then you can have me all to yourself…once I finish writing the lyrics.”

There were a few moments of just our breathing hanging in the air before Dan finally put me down. I had to hang onto his shoulders for a moment just to regain my bearings.

“Fine. You win.” A childish pout formed on his lips and he snaked his arms around my waist. “But you owe me lots of cuddles."

I rolled my eyes with a smile. Despite nearing 40, this man still had the blooming heart of a child. “Shotgun choosing the movie.”

Dan let me go and gestured to the cabinet, with which his television was situated on. “Be my guest.”

I reached the cabinet within a few steps and opened the drawers to find an array of movies, ranging from recent to films from the ‘60s. As I was scanning through them, a picture of Gene Wilder caught my eye and I pulled out the case. I couldn’t stop the smile from forming on my face.

“I haven’t seen this one in forever.” I mumbled to myself as I put it in the DVD player. As it started up, I turned to find Dan sitting on the couch with a grin, holding out the pen and notepad to me. I took the items from him skeptically.

“The less you make me move around, the quicker I’ll be done.”

“Or I could just make you squirm now.” Dan replied with a cheeky grin, bringing his hands up and wiggling his fingers teasingly. I pointed the pen at him.

“Don’t.”

His grin dulled to a smirk and he held his hands up defensively. “I wouldn’t. I know how those kind of muse spikes are. They’re only there for a bit, then they’re gone.” He smiled fondly. “I promise I won’t distract you.”

I let out a soft sigh of relief as I settled myself next to him, resting my head on his shoulder. His arm wrapped around my waist as he finally brought his attention to the TV screen.

“Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory?” He asked, looking down at me. “Why this film?”

“‘Cause it’s been forever since I’ve seen it.” I said simply, nuzzling against him as I turned to the page with my half finished lyrics scrawled in barely legible writing. “Plus, it’s Gene Wilder. He’s an awesome dude.”

“Sure was.” Dan sighed, resting his head on top of mine.

In the background I heard the movie playing, though my mind was focused on the lyrics on the paper below. I managed to finish up the first draft just as my muse fizzled out, and right as the kids were about to enter the wondrous chocolate factory.

After putting my pen and notepad down on the ground, I decided to shift my position around so I was laying across the length of the couch with my head in Dan’s lap. He watched me with curious eyes until I finally found my position, in which he chuckled at me.

“This feels a bit familiar.” He teased, moving his fingers to play with my hair while his other hand rested on my stomach.

A smile crept onto my face and I giggled. “But this time it’s on purpose, and I’m not completely out of it.”

“God…you were so precious that night.” Dan sighed. “I couldn’t move you off my lap even if I wanted to. You just curled up like a cat and I sang you to sleep.”

I smiled at the speckled memory, his voice singing ‘Hands On the Water’ clear in my mind. My fingers trailed up his forearm and back down again.

“I was really glad you stayed.” I admitted. “The ride had nothing to do with it. I just…really like your company.”

Dan began to softly massage my scalp, drawing out a soft moan from me. His fingers slipped under my shirt and he brushed over my skin with a feather-like touch that made me squirm. I whined his name and he giggled in response.

“I’m glad I stayed that night, too.”

With a smile, I let my eyes flutter closed and focussed solely on the movie’s audio.

“Hold your breath. Make a wish. Count to three…”

I was taken back to my childhood, sitting cross legged in front of our television watching this man sing such a beautiful melody in a world of colour and sweets. It was a truly magical moment for 7-year-old me.

“Come with me,” I couldn’t resist singing along. It was such a soft and sweet song and in the company I was in, it made it all the sweeter. “And you’ll be…in a world of pure imagination.”

“Take a look,” It was like an outer body experience — I could see younger me, twirling around the living room as the song played, humming along to the tune of the song. “And you’ll see into your imagination…”

I opened my eyes and found Dan looking down at me, watching me with the most fascinated smile on his face. Nervously, I let out a soft laugh. “Sorry.”

“Please don’t apologise.” He whispered, his eyes digging into every crevice of my being. “Never apologise for doing what your heart wants you to do.”

I felt my heart swell at his words. It was something so sincere for a moment I felt to be so insignificant. How had I gotten lucky enough to meet a man like him? I reached up, my fingers finding his curls to play with again. How he managed to keep his hair so soft I had no idea.

‘Probably just a lot of conditioner.’

“If you want to view paradise,” I didn’t close my eyes this time, only keeping my eyes on him. And to my surprise and pleasure, he didn’t look away. “Simply look around and view it. Anything you want to, do it. Want to change the world?” There was a pause, in which I took that time to let my fingers trace down his jawline. “There’s nothing to it.”

Danny caught my hand before it could leave his face and placed my knuckles against his lips in a gesture so gentle that it made me feel all warm inside.

“You said to never apologise for what my heart wants for me, yeah?” I spoke at a volume so quiet that I wasn’t even sure if I’d said it aloud. “My heart really wants me to kiss you. Would that be okay?”

“Isn’t it funny?” Danny’s hand, that had been twirling my hair around his fingers, moved to caress my cheek. The increase of intimacy between us made my heart start slamming against my ribcage at double its usual speed. “My heart wants the exact same thing.”

The kiss wasn’t as intense as the last one, though the intensity was replaced with a passion that made it feel like he opened up a part of my heart I’d kept locked for so long. Our movements were slow, patient; like we had all the time in the world. Every movement was like something so incredibly new and exciting, our fingers exploring along each other’s skin. We flowed, like a boat being carried down a river. There was no rush to lead into anything more; we were both content in staying in this special moment.

Somehow, I’d managed to move up so I was sitting in Dan’s lap during our pash. I pulled away from him with a smile and pressed my forehead to his. He wrapped his arms around my waist and brought me closer, until my chest was flush against his.

“Can I say something real quick?” I asked, my eyes fluttering open to watch his do the same. He nuzzled his nose against mine with a grin on his face.

“Sure.”

“I can’t remember the last time I felt this cared for.” The admission hit me head on like a truck as soon as I spoke it, but I knew it was the truth. More importantly, I needed Dan to know how important he was to me. “And even though we haven’t known each other for the longest time, you’ve definitely made the biggest impact on me. In so many ways.”

My hands rested on the back of his neck and I gave his nose a gentle peck. In the position I was in, more light streaming from the back window was blocking me from seeing any of Dan’s facial expressions. I had to admit, I was thankful for it; otherwise I was sure we’d both be a couple of sobbing messes.

Before Dan could even try to respond, I mumbled, “Now stop distracting me from the land of candy.”

Danny giggled as I moved myself off his lap and to his side again, wrapping my arms around his torso with a soft sigh. We watched the rest of the movie in silence, Dan’s fingers tapping along to the songs on my waist. There was one point where his thumb slid along the curve of my hip and I shivered at the feeling.

He looked down at me with a cocked eyebrow. “You alright?”

I nodded and snuggled into him further. I didn’t know why it happened, since it certainly wasn’t cold in Los Angeles. Maybe it was just the way his thumb slid so effortlessly along my skin and the intimacy behind it; but I would never know the answer for sure.

When the credits began to roll, I stretched my arms up and let out a yawn. Noticing his lack of resistance to me moving, I turned to find Dan fast asleep with his eyebrows upturned and his lips slightly parted. A smile fell onto my lips as I watched him for a moment. So peaceful. So gorgeous.

As much as I wanted him to stay asleep, I also recalled him saying he had back problems and assumed his mattress was probably made to help with that. I rested my hand on his shoulder.

“Danny?”

He moaned as his eyes opened slowly. When they landed on me, he gave me a lazy smile. “Hey.”

“C’mon, gramps. Let’s get you to bed.”

I helped him up and walked with him to his bed. He laid himself down on the mattress with a satisfied sigh, closing his eyes once more. From the silence that followed, I’d assumed he’d fallen asleep again and as much as I yearned to stay with him, I didn’t want to feel like I was intruding. So I leant down and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“Good night, Danny.”

I only managed to pull back when he grabbed my hand from his cheek and didn’t let go. He struggled to open his eyes and I was sure sleep was trying its best to claim him, but he was fighting back with defiance.

“Stay?”

With a smile, I climbed in next to him and was immediately engulfed by him. His covers, his scent, and…him. He’d latched onto me as soon as I was within reach; his face buried into my neck and his arms hugging me around the waist.

“I’m pretty sure you’re the human equivalent of a koala.” I mumbled as my fingers weaved their way into his hair. He nuzzled into me with a giggle and planted a gentle kiss on my collar bone.

“Then you’re my eucalyptus tree.”


	15. Chapter 15

The rest of the day consisted with me waking up at noon, having a couple more spiked brownies and cleaning up around the apartment a bit. It was the least I could do, since Dan was letting me stay there without any sort of repayment.

However, as a feminist and being adamant on equality, I was already trying to plan ways for me to drag Dan down to Gern for a week or two. Sure there wasn’t much to do there specifically, but it was only an hour and a half from the main city and I only went out there on the rare occasion.

It got to the late afternoon when I realised I hadn’t touched a single joint that entire day. Sure, I’d eaten some weed brownies but even with them I usually followed up with a cigarette for good measure. My mind began to wander to the recording session taking place later that day, and the urge to ingest as much weed as possible grew stronger.

But then I thought about Dan. He once mentioned that he’d been an addict and that he’d gotten out of it. I’d been consuming weed for almost 10 years; and I knew there had to be an end to it if I was going to live past 40.

‘So why not now?’

From the couch, I watched the sun begin to set and turn the sky a delightful candy pink with a beautiful lavender outlining the clouds. I hummed the tune for my original song aloud, trying to associate the sound with the chords on the guitar I’d be playing. I jumped when the front door swung open violently and in the doorway stood a towering freak with a charming smile.

“Honey,” He looked at me and grinned. “I’m home!”

I found myself mirroring his grin as I feigned a dramatic gasp of surprise. “Oh my darling! You’ve arrived!” I fluttered my eyelashes and even went as far as to giggle rather girlishly. “Was it a hard day at the office?”

“So tiring, my dear.” He pretended to wipe the sweat off his forehead as he closed the door, making his way over to me and throwing himself down on the couch. He then flung himself onto me with a dramatic sigh, making a genuine laugh escape my throat.

“They constantly work me to the bone, and then some!”

“I’m sure it ain’t that bad, honey bun.” I ruffled his hair. “If only ya had something to come home to.”

“Oh I do…”

His voice had deepened several octaves and when I looked down at him, a devilish grin had graced his handsome face. I found myself shrinking into the cushions while he moved to tower over me, placing his hands either side of my head.

“Well if this ain’t the strangest case of deja vu…” I smirked up at him, snaking my arms around his neck. Danny gave a low chuckle and leant to whisper in my ear.

“But this time, there’s no holding back.”

A shiver of anticipation shot down my spine and I eagerly pulled him in for a kiss. Our lips only managed to touch for a brief moment when I heard my phone’s alarm start blaring from the kitchen bench. Dan groaned against my lips before pulling away.

“Can I smash every single thing in this place that makes a sound?” I knew he was joking, but his tone was quite serious and most definitely frustrated. “I’m just starting to think the world hates when we try to do anything.”

With a roll of my eyes, I said, “That’s my alarm telling me I need to leave to get to the studio before 7.” I let my arms slip from his neck and I gestured my head towards the television. “Can I please be set free?”

Dan smirked before pulling me in for another quick kiss. He then hopped off and grabbed his keys. “Alright. Let’s go.”

How he managed to do all that stuff and not look completely and utterly flustered boggled my mind. Meanwhile, my face was definitely exuding a lot of heat and my heart was pummelling against my chest. I stood, smoothed out my skirt and lead the way out of his apartment and toward his car.

“I’m sorry I came back so late.” Danny said once we got in and he started it up. “Brian had to talk to me about some upcoming tour stuff.”

My heart dropped. “Touring huh? When for?”

“Next month we start.” He glanced at me with a smile. “Though I think you’ll be pleased to know that our last stop is Jersey…”

He was right; I was definitely pleased about that. And I knew that he could tell from the grin that had spread on my face.

“Will you only be hanging around for a couple days?” I asked, absentmindedly beginning to fidget with the hem of my tube top.

“Well…” My head snapped down when I felt his hand rest on my thigh. Goosebumps erupted on my skin and I looked up at him almost shyly. His gaze was focussed on the road. “I was thinking about hanging around for a little bit longer. Head to a little town up north, catch up with some friends…”

Dan’s head turned to me and he grinned. “Maybe even try to catch the cute girl who sings at their local lounge on a Thursday night.”

“Cute girl, huh?” I asked, nodding slowly with a knowing smile on my lips. “What makes you think she’ll be interested in you?”

He shrugged and turned his gaze back to the road. “Just a gut feeling.”

We soon arrived at the studio and got out of the car at the same time. Instinctively, I reached in my bag for my joints but I couldn’t find them.

I must have left them on the kitchen bench or something

A quiet curse left my lips as Dan joined me around the passenger side of the car. He furrowed his brows. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I just…” I sighed. “I forgot my blunts. And I’ve never performed without one before.”

“I can go back and get them if you want.” Danny offered, appointing his thumb at his car. “It’s no trouble.”

“No.”

My own answer surprised me. The only audience was Brent and Dan, and the mere presence of Dan was enough to keep my heart at a level rate. I nodded slowly to myself. “I’ll be alright.”

When I looked to Dan, I saw the inklings of a smile on his lips. “If you say so.”

Together we walked into the studio and I was soon ushered into the recording booth by Brent, Dan following close behind us.

“Okay, we’re just going to do a couple checks and then we can get started.”

“Sure.” I replied.

“If you just wanna do whatever warmups you do, it’ll let me check the audio levels.”

“Right…” I said slowly. “Warmups…”

Truth be told, I’d never done any proper vocal warmups before my performances before. Whatever talking I did during the day was what I considered to be my warm up; because by the time it reached the night time to perform, my voice was practically rearing to go.

Since no sort of proper vocal warm ups came to mind, I ended up recalling a vocal warmup tongue-twister from my primary school choir teacher. I tried my best to ignore Dan’s amused stare through the window, but managed to flip him off when Brent wasn’t paying attention.

“And…would you mind playing the guitar for me?”

I grabbed the guitar and strummed the melody of Pure Imagination. I bit my lip as the memories from early that morning flooded back into my head and I blushed.

There was no way I was looking up at Dan after that.

“Alright. We’re all set.”

I looked to Brent and he grinned at me, giving me two thumbs up. “We’re ready when you are.”

Dan grinned and crossed his arms. “Knock ‘em dead, sweetheart.”

His comment made a smile grace my lips and I took a deep breath. I could feel the initial nerves in me begging me to stop before I could embarrass myself, but I ignored them.

My eyes fluttered closed as I began to strum the melody; slow and sad for a song that wasn’t focused on the positives. I furrowed my brows, recalling the lyrics from memory, and pressed my lips to the pop filter.

“Hidin’ alone in the dark you’ll find…” I leant back away from the microphone and took a breath. When I opened my eyes, they landed straight on Dan. “A duo, a pair; two of a kind.”

Swaying from side to side, I closed my eyes again. “Broken in pieces and scattered around.” The strings I plucked left a slight burn on my fingers and I smiled at the feeling. “Nobody thought that we’d ever be found.”

“We’ve been through it, baby, the ups and the downs.” My lips were pressed to the pop filter; I wanted to pour my heart out in this song. “It takes everything in me not to shout…”

I counted the beats in my head, tapping on my guitar to make sure it picked up on the mic. Then I opened my mouth, and my heart with it.

“We’re shattered!”

It was powerful to scream while trying to match the volume of my guitar. Also with how closely I related to what I was singing.

“We’re shattered!” The second one was filled with a more raw emotion, while the first was more like a final realisation. I knew the repetition was a good idea as soon as I voiced it into the microphone.

“We’ve been beaten and smashed, we’ve fallen and crashed. But to me…” I looked up toward Dan again, a smile forming on my lips. “You’re everything.”

The smile on his face as he watched me sing made a whole new bunch of nerves swirl around in my stomach. But they weren’t anxiety inducing nerves; they were the type of nerves that pushed me to keep going for that smile to stay on his beautiful face.

So I did.

“Fixing is part of our ultimate plan.” I didn’t take my eyes off Dan, and nor did he with me. I felt more grounded when I knew he was there, both physically and mentally. In a smaller way, emotionally as well. “But you’re perfectly imperfect; and I want it to last.”

“We’ve been through it, baby, the ups and the downs.” The shift in energy made me close my eyes again, with the only thing in the world being me and the microphone. ”It takes everything in me not to cry out…”

“We’re shattered!” I felt a tear slip from my eye as the emotions washed over me like a tidal wave.

“We’re shattered!” My voice broke when I went to take it higher, but it was a break so beautiful that I knew I’d never be able to emulate it.

“We were beaten and smashed, we fell and we crashed.” When I opened my eyes again, I found Dan wiping a tear from his eye with the biggest smile on his face. “But we made it: just you and me.”

The silence that graced me once I was finished was deafening in the best way. I heaved a heavy, relieved sigh as a smile rested comfortably on my face. I looked from Brent, who was nodding with a smile on his face; to Dan, who had the proudest grin I’d ever seen him wear.

I watched in amusement as Brent turned around to Dan and gave him a harsh shove towards the door connecting the recording room to the booth. Danny took the cue without a moment’s hesitation and burst into the room, taking two massive strides as I placed my guitar down beside me. He then swept me into his embrace with a soft laugh.

“God, you’re incredible.” He sighed into my hair and I melted against him. There was something in the way he said it that made my brain refuse to believe he was wrong. I hugged him tightly, feeling tears start slipping from my eyes that I quickly wiped away.

“I can’t believe I just sang an original song.” I gushed as he pulled away. “In a recording booth! This is bonkers.”

“Bonkers.” He repeated with a shake of his head. When I glared up at him, he grinned. “It sure is, huh?”

Brent soon joined us and nodded at me. “That…was awesome. We can set that up to be your debut single if you want.”

I blinked. “You…you think it’s that good?”

His brows furrowed. “You don’t?”

A surprised laugh jumped out of my throat as I glanced from Dan back to Brent. “I…I guess I just didn’t expect this all to happen so quick.”

“We still need an album cover and an artist name yet.” Brent grinned. “But I’ll give you a bit of time to think on those. Give this all another couple of weeks and you can be back off to Gern.”

“2 more weeks?” I asked, feeling the smile on my face falter. I couldn’t help myself and I took a quick glance at Dan. He was looking back at me with a sad smile. “Sounds…good to me.”

Brent’s gazed rested on Dan for a moment, then came back to me with a soft smile. “Well I think that’s us for tonight. Thanks for coming in.”

“Of course.” I returned his smile. “When will I see you next?”

“I’ll text you.” He said with a nod znd with another glance between us, he left us in the room alone. Danny released a heavy sigh once Brent was gone and then turned to me.

“2 weeks, huh?” Dan said.

“Yep.” I couldn’t hide the sadness in my voice even if I tried. It sucked that I had to go back so soon; especially with everything that had happened between Dan and I.

But I had to remind myself that if it’s worth it, life always finds a way.


	16. Chapter 16

I couldn’t sleep.

We’d gotten back to Dan’s place and eaten almost in silence, with the harsh truth coming at us in Brent’s words. 2 weeks. After that, there wasn’t much point in me being here, especially with Dan getting ready for his tour.

Sleep wasn’t going to hit me any time soon, so I pried myself out of Dan’s arms and got up, venturing to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. I only managed to take a sip when I heard a soft, pained sounding moan from Dan’s room. With furrowed brows, I began walking towards his door and as I got closer, I could hear his breathing was shallow and the rustling of sheets growing more and more frantic.

Slowly, I pushed open the door and felt my heart drop. It may have been dark, but the small stream of light coming from his window lit up his face enough for me to see that he was in pain. He groaned again, tossing his head toward me. His eyes were shut, brows knit tightly together and his lips were parted. His hands, balled into white-knuckled fists and teeth clenched together. He breathed out another pained moan and tossed his head away from me again.

Without another moment’s hesitation, I walked toward him and knelt beside him. I’d been told that you couldn’t wake someone from a nightmare, in case they accidentally lashed out and hurt you. The most you could do, if you saw someone having one, was try to lull them back to consciousness with your comfort.

“Danny?” I hummed as calmly as I could. Seeing him like this was making pain spread outwards from my chest. I found one of his hands and held it in both of mine, trying as gingerly as possible to open his fist.

“Hey, Danny. It’s me. Follow my voice.”

As quick as a flash, the hand I held had captured one of mine in an iron grip. I winced, but focused back on him. This was more important.

“Danny, it’s not real. It’s okay.”

I watched the panic in his face grow as his groans became louder and more pained. I licked my lips nervously. I had to be patient and let him crawl out of the nightmare himself. Leaning forward, I placed my hand softly on his cheek and leant closer to his face.

“Danny. Come back to me, darling.”

With a gasp, Danny’s eyes shot open and his head quickly darted around the room. I sighed softly in relief, feeling the pain in my chest soften and my body slump slightly. After making sure he was safe, Dan looked down at his hand gripping mine, before finally looking at me with a panic that brought the pain back to my chest.

“Hey.” I cooed, caressing his cheek tenderly. “It’s okay. You’re back in reality. You’re okay.” 

He didn’t say anything, only letting the sound of his loud breathing fill the quiet night air, his eyes dashing between both of mine as if trying to validate my authenticity. I smiled gently and held his gaze, watching a tear slip out of his eye. I gingerly brushed it away with my thumb.

“A-Amber?” His voice broke and I felt my heart shatter with it. He looked so scared, and never had I seen someone so vulnerable.

I hoped to whatever higher power above that I never had to again.

Leaning forward, I pressed my lips against his temple. “I’m here, Danny.” I whispered against his skin. “It’s okay.”

It took a moment before his breathing began to calm and he started to relax. As I pulled away, his grip loosened on my hand; allowing for me to interlock our fingers comfortably. He closed his eyes with a deep breath, nuzzling into the hand against his cheek affectionately; similarly to how a cat would.

“It was horrible.” He whispered, opening his eyes again. “We…you were falling. Fell off a cliff. And…and I couldn’t save you—”

“It’s alright, Danny.” I moved the hand I was holding to my heart, pressing his clammy palm to my hot skin. “Feel that? That’s real. I’m real, Dan.”

He looked from his hand to me with so much appreciation in his eyes. “How did I get so lucky with you?”

I watched him smile as he felt my heart rate pick up from his words. “I could ask the exact same thing.”

As I stood up, Dan scooted over slightly to make some room for me. After crawling back under his blankets, I shifted myself so I was sitting up slightly and he immediately nuzzled his head into my chest. Both his arms wrapped around my waist, letting himself be held by me as I ran my fingers through his hair.

My other hand began slowly tracing patterns on his bare back, humming a tune to lull him back to sleep. He craned his neck up to look at me with his wide, doe-like eyes and I smiled softly at him.

“Thank you.” He whispered. I could hear the genuine appreciation in his voice and sighed softly at him.

Leaning down, I pressed a kiss to his forehead and a wave of adoration swept over me. He had been in such a vulnerable state and instead of acting tough as most people would, he showed his emotion. He placed a gentle kiss right on my sternum and he thanked me again.

“It’s okay, baby,” I whispered to him, “Now sleep. I’ll watch over you.”

“Like a guardian angel.” He blinked heavily, a smile forming once more on his face. He tightened his embrace around me and sighed contently as he nuzzled into me again.

Unexpectedly, he giggled as he began to fall deeper into unconsciousness. Before it claimed him however, he managed to mumble, “You called me ‘baby’…”

That was where I stayed the whole night, combing my fingers through Dan’s hair and humming a tune I didn’t know the words to. My body was exhausted, but my mind was whirring with so many thoughts that I couldn't even begin to sleep.

2 weeks. That was all we had left together. Right as things had taken a turn for the both of us, we just got told that we’d only have 2 more weeks before life would begin to pull us in different directions again. Yes, there was the period of time when Dan and Arin would visit at the end of their tour leg, but for how long? Dan would need to go back for all this other commitments, and I couldn’t leave Gern.

Not now.

Why was my mother looking for me? How did she even know where I was? More importantly, how had she found me? I’d spent so much time, money and effort in changing everything about me so that it was impossible for her, as well as any of my family, to find me.

I began to shake in anger and I had to take a moment to clear her from my thoughts. I didn’t want to wake Dan, and I certainly didn’t want him to meet any of my family.

Or even know about them.

Dan’s stirring got rid of all the noise in my head as my attention focused only on him. He opened his eyes slowly, looking up at me with a lazy smile.

“Hi there.”

The smile on my face was effortless; how couldn’t it be when he looked so gorgeous at all hours? “Morning, sunshine.”

He let go of me and sat up, stretching his arms up and yawning. “You haven’t been awake all night, have you?”

“All night?” I looked to his window and sure enough, there were the first few cracks of dawn seeping through the glass. I’d literally been awake all night, and time had slipped away from me like wet soap because I’d been thinking about my mother.

Even when I vowed to never associate with her again, here she was invading my mind.

He tilted his head at me, almost sympathetically. “You have, haven’t you?”

Slouching, I shook my head with a small smile. “Coffee and weed will fix me up fine. Honest.”

I gave him a small smile as I hopped out of bed and began walking to the kitchen. “Want a coffee? Wait…you’ll want a tea. Out of…” When I got to the cabinet with the mugs, I scrolled along until I found one with the print of a unicorn on it, with its tail designed as the mug’s handle. I grabbed it with a grin. “This mug!”

Dan sat himself at his kitchen bench, watching me with an amused smile. His chin rested on his hand as I made our beverages and served his to him. He took a sip and moaned, a sound so deep it managed to settle at the pit of my stomach.

“You should be a barista. Oh wait…”

I rolled my eyes and took a sip of my coffee from my floral mug. “Not like I’ve been doing it for 10 years or anything…”

He glanced up at me. “10 years?”

‘Nice one, loose lips.’

“…Give or take.” I added when I looked back at him. His brows were furrowed and I knew what his next question was before he even asked it. “Yes, I started working at Vee’s when I was 17.”

“So…you’ve lived in Gern your whole life?”

I pressed my lips together. “Not quite.”

‘Oh you’ve fucked up now, Amber.’

Relief washed over me when I heard my phone begin to ring from the couch and I rushed to get it. I answered it without looking at the caller and regretted it as soon as I heard the voice on the other end.

“Oh my gosh…honey?” I froze, dread running through my entire being. “Is that you? Cla—”

My instincts took over and I threw my phone to the other side of the room. I refused, after 10 years, to ever hear that name again; especially from her mouth. Dan watched it fly across the kitchen and slam screen-first against the wall. I’d entered a state of shock and blacked out momentarily. The next thing I knew I was on the ground in a ball, staring at the wall across from me with wide eyes.

‘Will I ever escape that woman?’

“Amber? Sweetheart?” I snapped my head up and Dan flinched. He crouched down cautiously and tilted my chin up with his finger and thumb, so I was forced to meet his gaze. “You okay?”

With a sharp inhale, I nodded quickly. “Yup. Uh huh. Everything’s normal. That was just a…a marketer…or something…”

He turned his head to the phone laying on the tiles, before looking back at me. “I don’t really think marketers are quite that scary.”

I found myself laughing, and tears starting to seep from my eyes. My throat began closing up and my brain was begging me to keep my mouth shut, but deep down I knew I couldn’t hide this forever. Especially from Dan.

“I wish it would have been a marketer.” I heard myself whisper.

Danny moved to kneel in front of me, prying my arms away from my legs and moving them to his neck. He then pushed himself forward and hugged me around the waist. His embrace forced my knees apart, so I locked him in with my legs around his waist.

I began sobbing in his arms.

“It’s alright, Ambs.” Dan sighed. “You’re alright.”

I shook my head. “She knows I’m there. She found me.” My brows furrowed. “How did she find me?”

“Ambs. Hey. Listen…” He took a deep inhale and I mirrored it. He held it and so did I. When he let his breath out, I did too. He pulled away and smiled at me.

I couldn’t hold it back anymore and broke down. Dan embraced me again as I cried loudly, letting out all the hurt and anger I’d kept in for 10 years in hot tears that landed on Dan’s back.

“Let it out, baby.” Dan whispered, soothingly rubbing my back. “Let it all out.”

And I did. I cried and heaved until I had no more tears and it felt like I had just been deflated. I’d slumped against Dan when I finally calmed down and he pulled away with a smile again.

“I know you’ll tell me when you’re ready. For now…you wanna come with me to the office?” He tilted his head. “I know for a fact Suzy would love to see you, and Arin absolutely adores you—”

“How are you real?” I croaked, placing both my palms on his cheeks. “How…why are you wasting your time on me?”

Dan pressed his forehead to mine. “You could never waste my time, Ambs. Every second with you is an absolute delight and I’d never trade it for anything else in the world.”

I shook my head in protest; not with him, but with myself. I had to tell him. If there was anyone who should know anything, let alone everything, about me, it was him.

“Danny…” I swallowed thickly. “I need to tell you—”

“Not now.” Dan shook his head, brushing my hair away from my face. “We have all the time in the world for that. Promise.” He sighed as his hands dropped from my face. “Though how you manage to still look so gorgeous even when you’ve been crying is beyond me.”

With a sigh, I leant forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, sweetheart.” He kissed my forehead with a kind smile, before standing up and heading into his room to get ready for the day. I followed him with my eyes the entire way, letting out a soft sigh when he was gone.

And that was the moment I knew I loved Dan Avidan.


	17. Chapter 17

“Sometimes, I really hate California weather.” Suzy sighed, carrying two bags worth of food. “You’d think after summer it would start cooling down, right? Nope! Honestly, it’s like we have summer for 9 months of the year and then fall for the other 3. I can’t even remember the last time I put on a thick, cozy sweater to cuddle into.”

I smiled as I walked alongside her, carrying the other two bags with the rest of the food as well as the whole office’s drink orders in them. “I’m kinda glad I’m not in Gern right now. Apparently it’s super cold there at the moment, and I’m not one for cold. Reminds me of Brooklyn.”

Suzy turned to me with curious eyes. “You’re from Brooklyn?”

With a nod, I said, “I’m a child of the Big Apple, but I way prefer Jersey.”

“Yeah, I get that.” We reached the office building and Suzy put down the bags to unlock the door. “I was from Florida originally, so I’ve only known the heat. But despite the craziness there, it’s way more chaotic here.”

As we walked inside, we both jumped when we heard Arin’s frustrated cry from the recording room, soon followed by the door violently swinging open and the big guy himself storming out.

“You okay, babe?” Suzy called wearily, placing her bags by her desk to go and look after her husband. I picked them up and took all 4 bags over to the kitchen area. I began unpacking them and reading off my small list of everyone’s orders to separate them along the bench. As I was doing so, two arms wrapped around my waist from behind and a tall, lanky body pressed against the curve of my back. I froze.

“Is that for me?”

I grinned as I continued the task at hand. “I’m sure one of them is. Unless you weren’t listening when Suzy was going around asking everyone for what food they wanted.”

He pressed his lips to my pulse point and I sighed, letting my eyes close. “I wasn’t talking about the food.”

The dominance in his voice made me shiver as I tilted my head back to rest on his shoulder. “You realise we’re in a workplace, right?”

“So?” Dan hummed as he moved my hair out of the way and began a dangerous trail of kisses to my shoulder.

“You have coworkers…” My trail of thought was slipping with every second his lips were on my skin, his fingers trailing up my hips and back down to my thighs. My hands gripped to the edge of the bench like my brain was gripping onto the edge of my sanity. “And it’s…not like you’re being subtle.”

He nipped my skin lightly and I stifled a moan against closed lips. He inhaled deeply, groaning softly against my skin. “I just can’t help myself around you.”

“Well I think you’ll have to learn.”

I gasped in shock and Dan jolted away from me. Both of us turned to the source of the voice to find Ross leaning against the other end of the counter with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face. “Amber’s right: this is a workplace. And no one wants to see that.”

“God…damn it, Ross.” Danny groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “I don’t know what’s worse: that you interrupted us, or that you were just standing there like a creep.”

“Well, I came in here to get my food and instead found you two canoodling in front of my Pad Thai.”

The Australian annoyance came up to grab his food and as he turned to leave the kitchen, he stopped in his tracks and turned back to us.

“At least save us all the courtesy…and do it in the Grump room.”

He then left without another word and when I turned to Dan, he looked just as flushed as I felt. I couldn’t help but start laughing and he joined me in a light chuckle after a moment of recovery.

“So I take it whatever’s happening in there isn’t going good for him?” I pointed towards Arin, who was being comforted by his wife.

Dan smiled softly. “Poor guy just gets way too into the boss fights.” He reached past me and grabbed his food. “He just needs a second to breathe, then we’ll be good to go.”

I tilted my head. “You don’t play?”

“Sometimes. But as you can see:” He stuck up his hands, wiggling his thumbs slightly. “My thumbs are kinda disfigured. And that makes working little buttons on a controller a very laborious task.”

He was right. Not exactly about his thumbs being ‘disfigured’, but they were a little odd looking. I gave him a pout. “I’m so sorry for your…crippling disability.”

Dan dropped his head and sniffled. “At least I dominate at thumb wars…”

I cocked a brow at him. “Do you now?”

He blinked in surprise. “You challenging me, sweetcheeks?”

Defiantly, I captured his hand in the classic thumb war hold and grinned.

“Try me, princess.”

A grin formed on Dan’s face as we did the countdown before the battle began. Instantly I had the upper hand and he even tried to sabotage me by covering my eyes with his free hand.

“Cheater!” I cried, blindly flailing my thumb round until I captured his underneath mine.

“One…two…three!”

Everything went silent. I waited a moment before taking Dan’s hand away from my eyes to find his mouth agape and staring down at our hands.

“How…?”

“I guess I forgot to tell you,” I grinned mischievously as I let his hand go. “I’ve never lost a thumb war in my life.”

My brows furrowed when Dan looked up and mirrored my grin. As quick as a flash, he held my face in one hand and licked a stripe up the side of my face from my jaw to my eyebrow. I squealed his name with a laugh, giving his shoulder a harsh punch right as Arin came along to get his food.

He looked between us with furrowed brows. “I don’t usually tolerate abuse in the office…unless it’s for a good reason.”

I wiped my hand over the saliva covered portion of my face, then wiped it onto Dan’s shirt. “This child licked my fucking face!”

“What?” Arin gasped, whipping his head to Dan. “Why would you do that?”

“Wha-? She started it!” He defended, pointing at me accusingly.

I crossed my arms with a grin. “Oh grow up, Avidan.”

“Make me!” He then proceeded to storm off to the recording room again, turning and poking his tongue out before slamming the door behind him. I chuckled softly as Arin grabbed his food with a grin.

“I’m happy for you two, by the way.” Arin hummed as he walked away, and I furrowed my brows in realisation.

It was only in that moment that I'd realised that Dan and I had never actually officiated our relationship. After all, it had only been just over a week since our first kiss; and it wasn’t like either of us were particularly antsy to make our relationship offical. But people didn’t usually do these kinds of things unless their ultimate goal was to make it official, right?

I decided to go outside to get some air and soak in the Californian sun while I still could. Brent had still yet to text me about what his plan was for the release of my first single, so all I could do at that point in time was wait around. Wait for Dan to finish his recording session, wait for Brent to text me with our next meeting time, and wait until my inevitable departure from this hot state on the other side of the country.

A soft breeze began to blow as I began following a path that looped around a local park. The sun was dipping lower in the sky with every passing moment, the scattered clouds moved slowly across the sky to their next destination. The orange leaves hung on for dear life as the wind threatened to rip them from their branches, their life source. This would have been the perfect time for a joint, but I’d left them at Dan’s place.

On purpose this time.

Since I’d finished my weed brownies, I’d decided to cut back on my smoking. It was difficult, since in every situation I would feel the ultimate craving for a joint. But I refrained. I had started using it to help ease my mental struggles and calm me down before doing anything remotely anxiety inducing, but I found less of a need for them ever since I’d hung around Dan.

The realisation was simultaneously amazing, for it gave me the hope that I could battle whatever struggles I had without drugs to drown it out; and terrifying, that it only took me relying on another person to finally look at quitting a habit that had taken over my life for almost 10 years.

Now, I just had to keep fighting on my own.

I hadn’t even noticed how low the sun had dipped until my phone started ringing in my pocket. I took it out and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Hey.” Hearing Dan’s voice made a smile instinctually appear on my face. “We’re about ready to call it a night at the office. You ready to go?”

“Oh!” I took a seat at the bench seat nearby. I had completely lost track of time and just realised that I’d barely been able to enjoy the scenic walk I had just been on, despite having been walking around for hours. “Uh, yeah. We can…we can go.”

There was a pause. “You alright?”

“Yeah, I just…” A soft sigh escaped my lips. I remembered Dan mentioning us going for a walk under the night sky sometime, when I first came into California. Maybe he’d still want to do it.

“Did you wanna go on a little…walk…before heading off?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

I jumped when I heard his voice, clear as day, just to my right. He grinned as he hung up, while I stared up at him in shock. The surprise soon faded and I found myself furrowing my brows as I lowered my phone.

“How did you get here so fast?”

“See that building just there?” He pointed towards the office building, which I recognised immediately. It was a literal 2 minute stroll from the building to the bench I was seated on. I slumped in the chair.

“Right.”

There was a moment of silence where neither of us moved. I looked around awkwardly waiting for him to say or do something, all while he just gave me an amused smile. Exaggeratively, I gestured to the space beside me for him to sit and his mouth twitched into a grin.

“I guess there’s not much to explore if you’ve circled the park.” Dan shoved his hands into his jacket pockets as he sat beside me.

I laughed softly. “Honestly, I spent the entire walk stuck in my own head.” I looked over to him. “It’d be nice to walk in silence for a while.”

“As long as you’d like some company…” When I gave him a look that said ‘Duh!’, Dan’s smile brightened as he stood and offered me his hand. “Then shall we stroll, m’lady?”

With a roll of my eyes, I took his hand and linked my arm through his. He began leading the way; walking us through the park and along a path that my feet recognised, but my eyes did not. I could hear the birds as they began to find their spot in the trees to rest, and the rustle of the leaves as the wind had begun to die down. I rested my head on Dan’s arm as we walked, holding onto his upper arm and his adjoining hand in mine.

“Can I ask you something?” I craned my neck up to Dan and smiled at his question, silently telling him to continue. “So…we’ll be coming over to Jersey soonish, and I, uh…” He stopped in his tracks and I had no choice but to stop as well. I dropped my hold on his arm.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just…” He scratched the back of his neck nervously, scuffing his sneakers against the pavement. I waited patiently for him to continue, though a small tinge of fear was beginning to form within me. Before it could get any worse, Danny asked, “Would you want to…come and see us…perform?”

I furrowed my eyebrows together. “Duh.”

He looked genuinely surprised. “Really?”

“Well…yeah. Seeing you perform those ridiculous songs live? Are you kidding me?” I grinned. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Besides, then I’ll get to see the Danny Sexbang costume in person.”

His eyebrow rose. “You sure you wanna see that? It’s a tight fit.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” I purred in his ear. Dan grinned down at me and was about to pull me to him for a kiss when we both heard a shrill voice call out.

“Is that Danny Sexbang?”

“Shoot.” He whispered, taking a short step back. “I’ll just be a second.”

I didn't realise why he was being apologetic until I realised that she was one of his fans. Dan’s back was blocking my view of her until she peered around and saw me. Her eyes lit up and next thing I knew, she was shoving her phone toward me.

“Can you take a picture of us?”

Every annoyed and selfish bone in me screamed at me to tell her to fuck off, but Dan’s apologetic gaze made me nod instead. When I took her phone, she practically jumped over to Dan and hugged him around the waist, grinning at the camera; while he was smiling and looking too damn fucking gorgeous.

‘I need more photos of him.’

She snatched the phone off me once I was done and waved him off, not bothering to acknowledge me again. When Dan walked over to me, he gave me an apologetic smile and opened his mouth but I waved my hand dismissively.

“You have nothing to apologise for.” I smiled. “It’s okay. If anything, I should thank her for reminding me to take more pictures of you.”

Dan’s mouth formed a grin. “You better be in these pictures too, then.”

Biting my tongue to hold back my protest, I shrugged. “Fine.”

“Alright.” Dan shrugged, reaching into his back pocket and opening the camera on his phone.

“What? Now?”

With a nod, Dan pulled me into his side. I giggled as I crashed into him and leant against his shoulder right as he took the picture. I hugged him around his torso for the second one and kissed his cheek for the third.

“Okay, I think that’s enough.” I laughed, covering the phone’s camera with my hand.

“I disagree,” He looked down at me fondly. “I could just take pictures of you all day.”

A blush consumed my face in heat and I lightly slapped his shoulder. “Oh shut up.”

It wasn’t long after that moment that we had looped around and gotten back to where we started, so we decided to call it a night and head off. The entire trip home, I traced patterns on the back of Dan’s hand, resting on my thigh, while he hummed along to the songs that played on the radio. And despite all the things we couldn’t escape that were fast approaching, I didn’t focus on a single one.

Instead, I just let the presence of him wash over me and left the worrying for tomorrow.


	18. Chapter 18

The two weeks had flown by. Brent and I had gotten everything set up for the release of my first single and even went back to record some harmonies throughout. The album cover photo was simple: a close up picture of my eye with a black and white filter over the top with a broken effect placed directly on the eye itself. No title, no artist name. Just the picture.

When Brent had first shown me the picture and asked if I liked it, I hugged him and told him it was better than I could have dreamed.

If the song was a success, Brent would fly me back out to start recording my debut EP. That gave me at least a month or two to crack down and write as many song ideas as I could so I had something to bring when I came back.

He told me that debuts, especially singles, were usually slow to start out; but they commonly picked up in popularity within a week or two of its release. We’d both agreed on having my name as the artist’s alias and ‘Shattered’ as the song’s title.

Unfortunately, those two weeks were when Dan was his busiest; planning for the Ninja Sex Party Tour and plowing through Game Grumps episodes for while he was gone. It was nice spending time with him when he got back and cuddling until he fell asleep on me, but I did enjoy being in his company when he was conscious.

One of the nights, we’d actually managed to stay up and watch The Last Unicorn in its entirety. Dan couldn’t stop gushing about it afterwards, asking me if I liked it and who my favourite character was. My favourite part, though the film was great, was when Dan sang along to the theme song of the film. The pure passion and love was so evident in his voice and as I watched him sing, I could feel myself fall in love with him all over again.

On my last day, after I’d bid Brent goodbye and thanked him for everything, I caught an Uber back to Dan’s place and let myself into his building and into his apartment. When I got in, I was surprised to find Dan here before me, even if he was laying across the couch heavily unconscious. I sighed softly at the sight and debated with myself for a moment before deciding on waking him up and taking him to bed.

I placed my bag down near the couch and leant down to Dan. Gently, I shook his shoulder. “Danny? C’mon, baby. Let’s get you to bed.”

“Hm?” He opened his eyes sleepily. Once they landed on me, he shot up with his eyes wide. “Fuck! What’s the…” He checked his watch before holding is head in his hands. “I was gonna…shit!”

“Maybe you should do that in the bathroom.” I joked, kneeling in front of him and prying his hands away from his face. He looked at me with disappointment in his gaze. I caressed his cheek. “It’s alright, Danny. We can just call it a night—”

“No.” He shook his head defiantly, holding my hands tightly. “It’s your last night…and I wanted to make it special…but I totally thought I could just…fuck!”

“Hey. Every night’s been special with you, Dan.” I couldn’t help but cringe slightly. “As cheesy as it sounds.”

There was a moment of silence, where I could almost see the debate going on in Dan’s head, until he snapped his fingers and stood up. I watched him in shock, doing nothing but following him with my eyes as he went into his room.

“You okay?” I called out after him.

“Come on.” He came out of his room seconds later with a jacket on, walking quickly to his front door and opening it for me. “There’s somewhere I wanna show you.”

Feeding off his adrenaline, I quickly hopped up and lead the way out of the building and towards his car. When we both got in, he took off down a road I’d never been down before.

‘Better late than never for a road trip, I guess.’

The car ride was 30 minutes of comfortable quiet, the hum of the radio keeping it from being completely silent. During the last 5 minutes or so, the road had changed to dirt and we had started to go up a steep incline.

‘Fuck. Maybe it is a road trip.’

It wasn’t much later that we stopped and Dan turned off his headlights. He turned his head to me with an excited grin.

“We’re here.”

When I got out and looked at the view in front of me, I couldn’t hold back the gasp that escaped my throat. We were up on a mountain, with a gorgeous view of the city skyline and the lights that illuminated our view. The night was cool, pleasantly so. A light breeze blew over the cliffside and I could hear the ocean crashing against the rocks below.

Cautiously, I walked to the edge of the cliff, peering over and looking in awe down below at the inky water and the sharp rocks that peaked out from the murky sea foam.

“Have you ever thought about how you’d wanna die?”

The words escaped my mouth before I could stop them and before I could start to wonder whether I’d freaked Dan out, I heard his giggle quite a ways behind me. “You’re such a wild card.”

A grin spread on my lips as I stepped closer to the edge. A few loose rocks slid out from under my feet and toppled to their ultimate demise. “I think I’d wanna fall. Let the ocean carry my body away into the vast unknown. Maybe even turn into sea foam like Ariel…”

“Hey, uh, could you maybe…not stand so close?”

I turned my head to look at Dan He was mid-step toward me, his arms wrapped around his torso. Even from here and with the limited light provided to us, I could see the worry etched on every inch of his face. The fear in his gaze when he woke from his dream flashed in front of my eyes and felt a heavy weight of guilt slam me directly in the chest.

A small, reassuring smile fell onto my face and I began walking toward him.

“I promise you I won’t fall.” I said softly, standing a few metres away from him. I outstretched my hand and tilted my head. “Would you like to join me?”

Danny looked hesitant; his breathing was getting shallower by the second and his teeth were digging into his bottom lip rather harshly. His eyes were wide with fear and his Adam’s apple bobbed nervously as he debated taking that daring step forward.

With an encouraging smile, I took a number of slow steps until I was right in front of him. Keeping eye contact, I manoeuvred my fingertips along his arm until I found his hand.

“We can go step by step if you’d like.” Slowly, I slipped my hand between the gap and held his hand, interlocking our fingers. “We won’t get too close if you don’t want to, I promise.”

He broke my gaze to look down at our intertwined hands, inhaling deeply. He gave a single nod, almost like a confirmation both to me and himself, and I gave him an encouraging grin.

I took one step forward and he joined me. Another step, and he followed. A third step and, with a slight hesitance, he stood beside me. We were close; a little further away than where I was originally standing. Dan’s grip on my hand tightened as I carefully took another step closer to the edge.

“Amber…” His voice shook slightly and I could see his other hand start to tremble. He looked down at his feet. “I…I don’t know if I can do this. I just…I keep seeing you falling and…I just…”

“Hey, that’s okay.” I half-stepped back towards him, smiling softly. “You’ve made it this far, haven’t you?” I gave his hand a squeeze. “What’s one little step more, hm?”

When he looked back up, there was a spark of determination in his eye and to my surprise, he took two steps forward, standing in the exact place I started. His breathing was still shallow, so I squeezed his hand to get his attention and he snapped his head to me with a slight panic in his eyes.

Now, it was my turn to ease his anxiety.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. “God, I love the smell of the ocean. The salt in the air, the coolness in your lungs…its so relaxing.”

Opening my eyes I found Dan staring at me, visibly trying to match his breathing to mine. I looked back out to the city skyline ahead. 

“The beach is nice and everything when the sun’s out but…there’s something about the atmosphere of an ocean at night that really speaks to me. I don’t go near the ocean much back home, but in Brooklyn my family and I went every July for a picnic.”

I looked back over at him to find him silently staring down at me, the corners of his lips upturned slightly. Relief washed over me at the fact that this was working. He nodded slowly for me to continue, not breaking eye contact with me.

“I remember always swimming in the ocean and pretending I was a mermaid. Mostly because The Little Mermaid is my absolute favourite fairytale. Not the Disney bullshit, but the original one. By Hans Christian Andersen.”

Dan kept my gaze, hanging onto my every word.

“A story with an ending like that would have made anyone terrified of the ocean. Y’know, in case some weird octopus witch lady tried to steal their voice or something,” I chuckled, looking back to the ocean. “But there was something about it, where Ariel just disintegrated into sea foam at the end…”

I shrugged. “Like, sure it sucked ‘cause she didn’t get the prince or whatever but to me it was almost peaceful. She didn’t have to go back home and face the wrath of her father and she didn’t get stuck with some douche for the rest of her life.”

I could feel Dan’s eyes on me the whole time, so I turned to look at him again. Now he was smiling; a full, heart warming smile. I swallowed dryly, feeling goosebumps prickle along my arms. Danny tilted his head at me; his eyes were filled with a sort of emotion I couldn’t quite describe. Something like adoration, but more.

All my thoughts were interrupted when a rather harsh gust of cold wind blew between us. When I involuntarily shivered from the cold, Dan was shrugging his jacket off and draping it over my shoulders; too quick for me to even begin to protest.

My body tingled pleasantly as his warmth engulfed me and I sighed softly, holding the jacket around me. “Why are you always such a damn gentleman?”

“Because I want to be.” He answered instantly, and I had to admit I was a little taken aback. “Because I want to put your happiness before mine in any way I can think how. I want to see you smile all the time and never shed a tear in sadness. I want to hold you and kiss you and have you fall asleep in my arms instead of the other way ‘round. I just…I want to be with you for as long as I can, and the past 2 weeks have made that super duper hard and I wished I’d realised sooner, but I didn’t. And if it means that I have to completely fuck up my sleep schedule to redeem lost time then I’ll do it in a heartbeat.”

I was speechless. I hadn’t been in many relationships to begin with, but never had I even heard of someone feeling such a strong way about someone else. More importantly, never had I ever heard it be put into words so shamelessly. It was obvious that this had been brewing in his mind for the past few days, but hearing it from his mouth had given me genuine shock.

“Danny…” I sighed, holding his hands in mine. “You do make me smile. Every single day. You’ve made me feel the happiest I’ve ever felt since my childhood.” I pressed a kiss to the back of one of his hands. “You are one of the most caring and genuine and warm people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting and without you, these past few months would have been so different. Insanely different.”

There was a moment of silence. Followed by another. Until he cupped my face and pulled me in for a kiss I could only describe as explosive. Sparks flew around my head and fireworks went off in my heart as he bled himself out to me. An intimate dance of tongues that carried with it a string of promises and acceptance. We clawed at each other, trying as desperately as possible to close the distance that was already pressed shut by our own colliding bodies.

“I love you.” Dan whispered against my lips, shaking his head softly. “God, I love you.”

My heart sang at his confession and I kissed him again, feeling tears of pure joy stream down my cheeks. Our noses continuously bumped against each other and it still felt just as intimate as the first time.

“I love you too, Dan.” I said, pressing my forehead to his. “Fuck. I love you so much.”

He laughed, a tinge of relief in his voice, as he embraced me tighter. My chest was flat against his and I’d never felt so happy in such a moment like this.

“So does this make us official yet or what?”

I burst out into laughter, dropping my head to his shoulder as his body racked with giggles.

“I mean…I’m down to try it.” I looked up at him. “Why not, right?”

Dan shook his head. “Nup. Not havin’ it.”

He cupped my face and brought me up to his eye level. I had to grip onto the collar of his shirt to stabilise myself as he practically forced me onto my tip toes. “You’re either 100% in or not at all.”

His eyes flicked between either of mine as he waited for my answer. I was rather surprised how serious he was about this, but I was also relieved. He wanted to give this a genuine try; not a half assed, fuck buddy kind of try. I slid my hands up and around the back of his neck as I smiled.

“I would love to make this an official thing, Dan.”

Danny’s whole body language changed from a defensive kind of stance, which I hadn’t noticed before, to much more relaxed kind of pose. He pressed a gentle kiss to my lips, almost to seal my words in stone, before holding me in his embrace. I sighed in his arms, feeling the weight of unknowing being lifted from my shoulders.

“Then lets fucking do it.”


	19. Chapter 19

Dawn broke through the window’s glass, showering us in a golden light. In the early sunlight we lay among strewn sheets; bare skin against bare skin, legs intwined, soft strokes of fingertips on skin and a dull but pleasurable ache from the intimate acts of the night before.

I hadn’t slept, despite my body crying out for me to rest. It was impossible to fall asleep, and I knew Dan had laid awake with me the whole night. He’d hummed softly, pressing delicate kisses to my skin; while I’d trailed my nails along his torso and grinned every time he’d tense under me.

When the sun broke out from the horizon below, Dan squeezed me tighter; he knew just as much as I did that I’d have to get up to go soon. Knowing he didn’t want me to go as much as I didn’t want to leave was assuring, but I knew it was also going to hurt so much more to leave.

“It’s only a month.” I whispered, tracing a circle around the middle of his patch of chest hair.

“It’s gonna be a long month.” He sighed in reply, pressing his lips to the top of my head.

I chuckled softly. “It’s nothing we haven’t done before.”

“But it’s different now.” He whispered. I shifted myself around so I was on my stomach, my arm resting across his chest with my chin on top. Dan smiled at me, moving his hands to play with my hair.

Every moment that passed by squeezed my chest just that bit tighter. It was hurting me, since I knew every second was a second closer to our separation. It was no use trying to convince myself that it wouldn’t be different. I hadn’t even realise I’d began crying until Dan wiped a tear away from my eye.

“I’m gonna miss you so much.”

“Me too, sweetheart.” His smile carried a sadness I hadn’t seen before, which made me feel even worse. I stroked his hair.

“It’s only a month.” I repeated.

“Yeah.” Dan nodded. “Only a month.”

Then the alarm went off, and I felt my heart plummet to my stomach.

I broke my gaze away from him and got out of bed, walking around to pick up my strewn about clothes before heading to my bag to pick out my outfit for the trip back. As I got dressed, Dan came out and silently made himself a tea and me a coffee. When I turned around, I blushed when I saw that Dan hadn’t put any clothes on.

“At least he’s unashamed.”

Dan turned to look at me with a smirk. “What was that?”

‘Loose lips strikes again.’

Despite my cheeks heating up, I gave a nonchalant shrug. “You heard me. And if not, that’s your loss.”

When he saw that I was silently drinking him in, I caught him blush as he turned back to finish off our beverages. As I drank my coffee, he went off to get ready and by the time he came back, I was gathering all my things and repacking my bag with all my clothes. I took my time as he drank his tea and finished just as I heard him rinse out his mug.

Dan walked over to the door to open it and glanced at his watch. “9, right?”

I nodded as I grabbed my bags and walked out. This time, I let him lead the way to his car and open up the back to put my bags in. We then got in, buckled ourselves up, and Dan drove off toward the airport.

The drive seemed a lot shorter than it did on the first day, even when I was high and I slept through a portion of the drive. It was probably because I kept spacing in and out of my own thoughts.

I glanced over to Dan, watching him in his relaxed state as his focus was solely on the road ahead. It had been an entire month and yet it felt like I’d just gotten to Los Angeles. Time had completely flown by and yet I’d never felt so busy in my life.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Dan asked. His voice brought me back from my thoughts and I found him to be looking over at me curiously. I looked out the window again.

“I wish I could tell you.” I sighed. “But right now, it’s just a loud cacophony of…endless noise. It’s frustrating.”

Dan snorted. “You’re such a poet.”

“I’m supposed to be using my time at home to write a buttload of songs for when I come back.” I glanced over at him again. “I’m guessing they’re all gonna be pretty fucking depressing.”

He nodded in understanding, pulling into the drop off area of the airport. 2 minutes. That’s all the time we had to say our farewells until next month. We both got out of the car, Dan grabbing my bags from the back of his car and placing them on the pavement beside me, before shoving his hands in his pockets.

“So…” I sighed, giving him a sad smile.

Dan avoided my gaze, instead finding interest in scuffing his shoes on the concrete.

“Hey.” I used my fingers to tilt his head up to face me. “Time’s gonna fly by. With your tour and all, you’ll have no time to be worrying about lil’ ol’ me.”

He nodded, immediately avoiding my gaze again.

“C’mere.”

I pulled him in for a hug which he returned instantly, squashing me against his chest and burying his face in my neck. That was when I felt myself break. Tears threatened to spill down my cheeks and my legs felt like jelly. If it weren’t for the embrace I was being held in, I would have crumpled to the ground.

“I’ll see you soon, okay?” I whispered, knowing any level of volume higher would give away my shaking voice.

“Yeah. Before ya know it.” Dan said as he pulled away. He wiped the tears from my cheeks, pressed a kiss to my forehead and then left before I could do anything else. I waved him off with a sad smile, earning a couple of car honks from him, before he drove off and out of sight. I didn’t have any more time to cry, since I only had 10 minutes to check in for my flight.

The entire trip back to Gern both felt like an eternity and like no time had passed at all. Maybe it was because my thoughts were consumed by Dan and the work Brent and I did in the studio and the people at the Grump office. Basically, the entire time I’d spent in Los Angeles had taken me out of reality and had instead trapped me in a world where I could see everything, but I couldn’t reach out to touch it. Like I was on the back burner, watching everyone do their thing and I couldn’t join in.

I’d gotten a text from Ricky just before I got on the plane asking if I’d be performing that night. I told him I would, since I was under the impression that my flight would come in just after 3. Unfortunately when I landed back in Jersey, the timezone flipped the time on my phone to 3 hours ahead and I realised that I’d have to head straight to the Monarch if I was going to perform on time.

It was 7:15 when my taxi driver dropped me off at the lounge and I stumbled in tiredly. Bruiser was already by my side, grabbing my bags from me.

“Are you sure you should be performing? You look like you’re about to collapse.”

I shook my head. “I just need a coffee and I’ll be okay.” With a smile, I pat his shoulder. “It’s great to see you, Bruce.”

“You too, Flamo.” He smiled softly at me. “It’s been awfully quiet without your Thursday musicals.”

“Well I’m back, baby.” I grinned. “And it’ll be a while ’til you can get rid of me again.”

He gave me a couple pats on the back before I slumped down at the bar. Scotty looked up from the glass he was cleaning and winced at me.

“You alright?”

“Coffee. Please.” I groaned, placing my forehead on the table. I heard the clinking of glass and the sound of it being placed right by my ear. I shot up and began skulling it down, while I heard Scotty chuckle.

“Little tired?”

I placed the half-drunk mug down and glared at him. “Y’think?”

“I don’t know why you came.” He shrugged, going back to cleaning the glass. “Or why you didn’t sleep.”

“I tried,” I said honestly, “But I couldn’t. And I forgot about timezones. But in all honesty, I’m usually fine once I get up there anyway so I think I’ll be good.”

“Amber!”

I pressed my lips together as Ricky’s footsteps approached us. I skulled down the rest and wiped my arm over my lips right as he sat down. One look at me and he winced as well.

“You know you didn’t have to say yes, right?”

“I forgot about the timezones.” I groaned. “But I’ve had my coffee so…I’ll get up and do just one song because…I’ve missed it.”

He smiled fondly at me, pulling me in for a hug. “It’s really good to have you back, Ambs.”

I sighed, closing my eyes in the embrace. “I missed you guys.”

“Sarah said she’ll have some time off within the next month or so. She said to call her when you get the chance.” Ricky said as he pulled away.

Sarah. God I hadn't realised how much I’d missed her until I heard her name. I’d have to make sure our next catch up was extra special.

I got up and sat on the stool in the middle of the stage, grabbing the guitar that was leaning next to it. The room erupted in applause, which took me by surprise. I giggled bashfully as I tuned the guitar strings.

“What a welcome to come back to!” I gushed. They began to quieten down, focusing their full attention on me. “How are we all this evening, my royal subjects?”

They cheered and hollered as I laughed. “Sorry about leaving you good folks for a few weeks. I had some royal business to attend to.” I glanced at each face I could as I spoke. “Unfortunately, that royal business has tuckered me out, which means I only have the energy to perform one song for you all tonight. I promise, next week we'll be back in full swing!”

I tucked my hair behind my ears and cleared my throat. “This song is called ‘On Melancholy Hill’ by Gorillaz.”

After nodding my head to count myself in, I began plucking the strings of the guitar. I immediately noticed their extra give, unlike the guitar in Los Angeles and I found myself smiling. Los Angeles had a lot of good things, but it would never have the Monarch’s guitar. I pressed my mouth to the microphone and closed my eyes.

“Up on melancholy hill, there’s a plastic tree.” My eyes opened about half way and I looked at nothing but the space ahead. “Are you here with me?” I swayed along. “Just looking out on the day of another dream…”

I closed my eyes and saw a sea of coloured lights, with the vast blackness of the sky above creating a gorgeous contrast. In the middle of the colourful ocean stood a tall figure, with poofy hair and his arms extended outwards for me. I began to run.

“Well you can't get what you want, but you can get me.”

My eyes opened, but the sea was still there. It felt like he was right there, but I knew he wasn’t. It was impossible. “So let’s set out to sea.”

When my eyes shut once more, he was right there; we were holding each other with our arms and our eyes, drinking in as much as we could before we had to part once more.

“’Cause you are my medicine, when you're close to me.”

It hurt to open my eyes again, because he disappeared from me right before I did. Though the smiles of the familiars made me feel a certain type of warmth I hadn’t felt since I left here; and despite everything with Dan, I knew that this was home.

“When you're close to me.”

I finished up and spent the rest of the night chatting with the familiars who came up to me to welcome me back, including two of the guys who I recognised as Dan’s friends. After giving Ollie a short update on what happened in Los Angeles, I grabbed my bags and made my way home, giving Dan a call as soon as I was inside.

“Ambs! Hey.”

“Hey Danny.” I sighed, smiling immediately. “How are you?”

“As good as I can be without you beside me.” I could see his cheesy grin in my head and rolled my eyes. “How are you?”

“Oh, y’know…” I flung myself onto my couch. “Exhausted. Lonely. And missing you like crazy.”

“Only a month, baby. Then you won’t have to miss me.”

I closed my eyes, feeling fatigue start to take its toll on me. “Hey Danny?”

“Yeah?”

With a yawn, I asked, “Can you sing me to sleep?”

“Sure, baby. Just give me a second to think…”

I picked myself up and dragged myself to my bedroom, changing my clothes into warm pyjamas and cosying up under the covers. Right as I put my phone on speaker I could hear Dan humming a tune that made me grin.

“There is no life I know, to compare with pure imagination…”

My eyes felt glued together once I’d shut them. My body relaxed all of its weight onto the mattress and my brain tuned everything out. The only thing it was focussed on was the angel’s voice coming from my phone’s speaker.

“Living there, you’ll be free…if you truly wish to be.” He giggled softly, finishing with, “Sweet dreams, sweetheart. Love you loads.”

Before I gave in to the sweet slumber I had been craving all day, I mumbled softly. “Love you, baby.”


	20. Chapter 20

The next week went by smoothly, including the performance on Thursday night. Turns out sleep actually worked better than coffee when you needed to perform in front of a crowd. Who knew!

Brent sent out the single on the Monday and the purchases had remained pretty stagnant. There was a slight show of interest, but not much. I couldn’t help but feel a bit disheartened by it, despite Brent telling me that it usually took a week or two for new music to be discovered.

However, by the time it hit Saturday morning, I got a call from Brent screaming excitedly at me. Unfortunately it had been the call that broke me from my slumber, so I was foggy headed and his words were like incoherent babble.

“Brent. Hey. Slow down a second.” My voice was raspy from sleep and my head throbbed from the sudden noise. “What’s up?”

He took a moment, I assumed to catch his breath, before speaking a lot slower. “Your song, Shattered…” He paused. “It’s on the charts!”

I swore I could feel my heart pick up to five times its resting pace and I blinked a few times to try and let it sink in.

“What?”

“Take a look!”

Jumping out of bed, I ran to my laptop and logged onto iTunes. Funnily enough, sitting at number 4 on the Independent Artist category, was my song.

“Oh my god.” I whispered. “How did this happen?”

“If you don’t have an instagram profile, I suggest making one.” There was a knowing tone in his voice that made me furrow my brows. “I think someone gave you a little boost.”

When Brent hung up the phone, I went onto my instagram profile. The first thing I saw was a massive jump in followers, which got me thinking as to how they knew this was me. I then went onto my timeline and the first thing that popped up was a video of Dan.

“Hello!” He greeted cheerily. Just seeing his face made a smile appear on mine. “I, uh…just wanted to give a very special shout out to a new independent artist on the rise. Uh…her name is Amber Thill, I’ll put her username below. But, uh…she’s a very dear person to me and she just released her very first song. So…be sure to check out her single ‘Shattered’ because…she’s super talented and just such an awesome person who deserves all the success she receives. And…yeah. Support independent artists! See ya.”

Immediately after the video ended, I dialled Dan’s number and waited. He picked up on the last ring with a yawn.

“Good morning.” He greeted. “I would have picked up sooner, but I think it was a quote from you that said ‘young men must have their beauty sleep’.”

“Good morning indeed.” A cheek splitting grin filled my face. “I just had to call because…I saw your video. On instagram.”

“Oh!” He sounded more awake and I heard the rustle of sheets; I assumed he had moved to sit up in bed. “Yeah. I was gonna tell you about that today when I woke up. But…I guess I’m awake now, so…I gave your song a little promotion.”

“Yeah, no shit!” I laughed, in complete awe that people from all around were listening to my voice. Even with the reality of it being told directly to my face, I still couldn’t quite believe that it was happening. “Brent called me just before, saying that we’re at number 4 on the Independent Artist’s chart.”

“Number 4?” Dan repeated. “Holy shit, that’s awesome babe! Congratulations!”

“All thanks to you and Brent.” I said. “Danny…I can never thank you enough. For Brent, for letting me stay with you, for believing in me. Just…thank you. So much.”

He chuckled on the other line. “Babe, it’s all good. Honest. I don’t even know if I did anything. I just want the world to know how good your music is.”

“You literally gave me the opportunity of my dreams, Dan!” I cried out happily. “You’ve changed my life. In all the best ways.

“Well you would have had to have done that yourself sweetheart,” Dan said, “Because I can’t make you do anything.”

I sighed, a wave of love and appreciation crashing over me. “God, I love you.”

“Well, I’m not God, but…” I rolled my eyes, though I could hear the smile in his voice. “I love you too. You deserve this.”

I bit my lip when my eyes landed on my notebook; the one in which I kept the names and lyrics of the songs I would be performing the following Thursday.

“How long until you have to head into the office?”

“I’m on tour, sweetheart.” Dan told me. “But I don’t have to head to the venue ’til later this afternoon.”

“Oh, good.” I grinned. “Wanna FaceTime?”

The other line cut off immediately and I blinked. Suddenly, my phone screen lit up with a FaceTime request from Dan. I swiped to answer it and waited for it to connect us. When it did, I saw that he was laying on a bed — it definitely wasn’t his, the sheets were all white and the headboard was a lighter colour — with the blanket covering his chest. He smiled charmingly at me.

“Hey gorgeous.”

“Morning, handsome.” I tilted my head. “What happened to hashtag free the nip?”

He chuckled. “I’ll save that for when I see you in a few weeks.”

With a fake pout, I muttered, “What a tease.”

Dan yawned. “So what’s been happening?”

“Same old stuff.” I said, getting up from my table and moving to the lounge room. “Work, perform once a week, mope around, repeat. How’s the tour so far? I didn’t realise you guys started already.”

“We just started, actually.” He said with a lazy smile. “First show is tonight. Keep getting these butterflies.”

I placed my phone on the TV cabinet and leant it against the TV, proceeding to sit on the sofa chair directly opposite it. “Butterflies keep you humble. As long as they don’t infest and turn into moths, ‘cause that ain’t fun.”

“Oh yeah, these are definitely good butterflies.” He sighed, clearly excited for the night to come. His excitement spread to me and I found myself grinning back at him.

“Well I hope all goes well.”

“I’d love a ‘good luck’ song.” Danny smirked, rolling over so he was on his side.

“Yeah?” I picked up my guitar resting against the sofa and plucked a few strings. “I can play you one of the songs I’ll be playing on Thursday, if you want.”

“Sounds perfect. Which one?”

“Well, I was tossing up between Adele and Britney Spears for-freaking-ever because I’m in a love sick mood,” I glanced at him to find him grinning at me like an idiot, “I wonder why,” I looked back to my guitar, “But I think I nailed the choice. So…” I strummed the G-note, both out of habit and to make him smile. “This is ‘Everytime’ by Britney Spears.”

There was a slight pause, in which I glanced up at Dan to check that he was still there. What I found was his undivided attention in the form of a soft smile and a loving gaze. I blushed and began strumming the tune, dropping my gaze to my fingers to check the notes I was playing.

“Notice me.” I shut my eyes, transporting myself to the Monarch stage. There, I was myself. There, I was Amber Thill. “Take my hand.”

“Why are we,” Now I was engrossed. It was just me and my guitar in an endless abyss. “Strangers when…our love is strong.” I inhaled deeply, daring to open my eyes and look at Dan. I felt my heart skip a beat. “Why carry on without me?”

“Every time I try…to fly I fall; without my wings, I feel so small.” I didn’t look away from him. I couldn’t. He had me trapped and I didn’t want to escape. I shrugged. “I guess I need you baby.”

My eyes shut instinctually and I felt my breath hitch when I inhaled. “And every time I see…you in my dreams, I see your face. It's haunting me.”

I looked at him again, finishing quietly. “I guess I need you baby.”

Dan waited a moment before sighing loudly, relaxedly. “Fuck. Has anyone told you that you have the literal voice of an angel? Because I’m convinced you do.”

I blushed as I got up to grab the phone to hold. “Surprisingly, yes.”

He furrowed his brows. “Who? Someone at the lounge?”

“I meant you, silly.” Dan’s entire demeanour relaxed and I tilted my head. “Easily jealous, Sexbang?”

“When there are so many people who get to see you every day and they don’t know how lucky they are to be?” He looked at me in a goofy way. “Yuh doi!”

I grinned. “I’m jealous of all those people in the audience for your show tonight. They get to see you in your spandex getup before I do.”

He hummed softly, giving me a wicked smile. “I’m sure the wait will be worth it.”

My fingers found the strings of my guitar and began plucking a tune I didn’t know. “I expect a private performance when you get here.”

“Hmm…” Dan stroked his chin in thought with a grin on his face. “I think that can be arranged.”

Just off screen, I heard Brian’s voice calling for Dan to get up. He rolled his eyes. “Sorry, babe. My mother is calling for me.”

I laughed. “Text me after the performance, yeah? And tell Brian I said ‘hey’.”

“Sure thing.” He sighed. “I can’t wait to see you.”

“Me neither.” I smiled softly. “Have fun out there.”

Dan blew me a kiss and I blew him one back before hanging up. Biting my lip, I checked back on my instagram page and watched the interactions on the page shoot up again from the last time I checked. I shook my head with a chuckle.

“Dan Avidan you son of a—”

My phone rang again, this time it was Bruiser. I furrowed my brows; he never called me for anything. I answered it.

“Bruiser?”

“Hey, Flamo.” His voice was quiet, like he was trying to talk without being heard. “That woman’s here again.”

I felt my mouth go dry. “You mean—”

“Yeah.” He cut me off. I was very thankful, since I felt nauseous at the mere thought of uttering her name.

“I really need some answers, Bruce.” Swallowing harshly, I asked in a bare whisper. “How did she find me?”

“I wish I knew, Flamo.” He sounded sympathetic, since he was the only one I’d told about my years prior to arriving in Jersey. “All I know is who she is and that Ollie and I are tryna steer her away from here.”

My heart dropped. “Oh God. You didn’t tell Ollie—”

“No, Amber. I would never.” His voice was at a whisper now, and it carried a tone so full of genuineness that I felt myself sigh in relief. “All the boss knows is that she’s not to go near you.”

With a small smile forming on my face, I said, “Thank you.”

“I’m always lookin’ out for ya, Flames. You know that.”

I had to hold back from sniffling, and instead let the tears roll silently down my cheeks. How I’d gotten so lucky with my friends and the people I’d met in this little Jersey town I’d never know, but I’d forever be grateful.

“Just…call me if you need.”

“Gonna be honest, totally forgot I had your number.” I admitted with a snort, wiping my tears away.

“Me too.” His voice raised in volume slightly and he even added a chuckle. “We’ve never had a reason to remember, have we?”

“I suppose not…” I sighed softly. “Anyway, have a good shift, yeah? Oh, and let Ollie know we got to number 4 on—”

“Is that the Monarch’s homegrown superstar?” I heard Ollie yell on the other line, before his voice was loud and right in my ear. “Hey kiddo! How’s the climb up the charts?”

“Bit rude of you to take Bruiser’s phone, Ollie.” I teased.

“Oh he’ll get it back. But tell me! Where are ya on the charts?”

“Well…” I put my phone on speaker and brought up iTunes to see the results, only to have my stomach drop. “Oh my god.”

“What? What’s happening?”

“Ollie…” I gasped, refreshing the list over and over again. It was real. And it was current. “I’m number 1 on the Independent Artist’s chart.”

The entire world around me faded as I stared wide eyed at the number next to my name. It was there, staring me in the face in bold.

#1: Shattered - Amber Thill

As if on cue, I saw a text from Dan that read:

YOU’RE NUMBER 1 BABE!!! SO PROUD OF YOU! XXX

“I…I have to go.” I said numbly, not even registering Ollie’s words as I hung up. I grinned widely as I quickly typed a response to Dan:

No thanks to you, baby! ;)

He responded quickly after:

You’re the one who did it, sweetheart. Go out and celebrate! Love you!

A loving sigh fell from my lips and I texted him back:

Love you so much more xxx

I giggled and pressed a kiss to my phone, a sense of euphoria and disbelief washing over me at the same time.

“Number one.” I whispered, before screaming and jumping up and down like a child. “Holy fucking shit!”

I ran to a mirror, thinking that saying it to my reflection would make it more real. As soon as I saw my startled reflection, I laughed like a psychopath and screamed again.

“I got to number one!”


	21. Chapter 21

A whole 3 weeks had passed since my name had gotten to number one and somehow, it was still up there. Not on number one anymore, but hanging around at number 3 instead. I’d begun to post on my instagram page more often, mostly just videos of my covers for my Thursday night performances.

Most of the responses were positive, a few of them were negative; however, what surprised me most was that a lot of comments were speculating mine and Dan’s relationship. I’d called Dan one night and mentioned it to him and he started laughing.

“Yeah, I’m not opening up that can of worms anytime soon. Actually, worms is too mild. More like ravenous, flesh eating parasites.”

I’d winced when he said that. “That bad huh?”

“Oh, much worse.” He chuckled. “Announcing that I have a girlfriend to the public would send them all in a frenzy. And I don’t want any of the fuckwits out there attacking you.”

“I’m sure I could handle it.”

“Sweetheart.” His voice had turned serious. Deadly serious. “I couldn’t do that to you. You don’t know how rowdy some of these people can get. And it’s way too soon.”

I had agreed with him on that last part. It had been just over a month and announcing our relationship to the public would be a stupid thing to do. I hadn’t even told any of my friends yet and if they found out from social media instead of from me personally, I knew that would hurt them. Hell, it’d hurt me too.

From what he’d told me, his tour was going great thus far. No hiccups, plenty of love from the audience and the entire performance was running as smooth as it could be. I couldn’t have been any happier for him and the rest of the crew. And even better, it was only a few days until I got to see his performance in New Jersey.

However, I was also excited to catch up with Sarah after God-knows-how-long. She’d called me just the other day saying she had a day spare and that we should catch up at the Monarch. Usually I only went to the Monarch on the Thursday nights, but it certainly wasn’t a bad place to catch up with a friend.

Especially her.

I found myself putting in a little more effort in terms of my appearance, with a gold cotton dress and a brown cardigan over my shoulders, as well as some maroon eye makeup to match my hair.

I couldn’t help it. She made me want to put in the effort.

When I walked into the Monarch on the Tuesday evening, the first comment I’d gotten was from Bruiser, who was confused as to why I had come here all dressed up.

“I’m barely dressed up.” I defended, “But if you must know, Sarah and I are having a quick catch up. It’s the only time she’s gotten off from the hospital in— why are you looking at me like that?”

Bruiser shrugged with a smirk on his face. “Why go through so much effort for her?”

I rolled my eyes. “You want to pry into my personal life? Okay. I actually have a boyfriend.”

His smile dropped for only a moment, before it widened into a grin. “Since when?”

“Since last month. And you wanna know who it is?” I propped my hand on my hip. “Remember that guy with the real ‘80s looking hair and leather jacket who I was talking to after my performance a few months back? The one who I sang karaoke with the night after?”

Bruiser furrowed his brows for a moment before the look of realisation beamed on his features. “Him?!”

I gave him a nod. “Him.”

It was only a second later that I felt a tap on my shoulder. When I turned around, I gasped as Sarah crashed into me in a bone crushing embrace. I hugged her back tightly, suddenly realising just how long it’d been.

“Holy crap.” Sarah whispered when she pulled away. “I…I’m sorry. It just…feels like I haven’t seen you in so long.”

I shook my head, a grin on my lips. “It’s okay. C’mon, let’s sit.”

With a glance at Bruiser I walked with Sarah to the bar. We sat down and I couldn’t dull the smile from my face even if I wanted to. It had been so long since I’d seen her and here she was, grinning eagerly at me.

“Gosh. How are you?” Her hand rested on mine and I placed my other hand on top of hers. “So much has happened since we last hung out.”

“I know." I agreed with a sigh. “God, I don’t even know where to begin.”

“I do.” She slapped my shoulder. “Your music! You went to Los Angeles? How did you even start with that?”

“Oh God…” I chuckled softly. “So I met this guy a few months back. Turns out he knows people in the industry, so he convinced his manager to come out here and check me out. Then next thing you know, I’m in Los Angeles making my first single.”

“It was so good, Amber.” Sarah sighed with a smile. “I loved it.”

I blushed, dipping my head in embarrassment. “Thank you.”

“It was little dark for me, but totally your style.”

With my brow raised, I said, “Are you saying I’m a dark and brooding kind of person?”

She gasped. “Oh my god! You’re Batman!”

We both burst into laughter as Scotty brought us our drinks. I thanked him as he left. “So how’s work at the hospital going? Ricky tells me you’ve been flat out.”

Sarah groaned and nodded. “It’s been insane! I don’t know what it is about Jersey and carrying around sick people but it just spreads so easily. And being short staffed isn’t fun, either.”

I smiled sadly. “At least you get this time off.”

She smiled. “Yeah. Oh! I totally forgot to tell you!” Sarah searched in her bag for something. “I found your mother!”

My heart plummeted. My throat closed up and suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t talk. I could only stare wide eyed as she continued, completely oblivious to my reaction.

“Maria Hunter, right? Weird that her last name is different to yours, but anyway!” She was scrolling through her phone; for what, I didn’t know. To be honest, I didn’t care either. “I got in contact with her and told her you were here. It was funny; she sounded really confused when I told her your name—”

“You said I was here?” My voice was barely above a whisper. I couldn’t bring it to be any louder.

She finally turned to look at me and looked slightly startled, but mostly confused at my reaction. “Well…y-yeah. I just thought since you hadn’t really talked about her, it would be a nice surprise to bring her up here—”

“You told her…I was here?” I repeated. My voice was quiet; slightly louder than a whisper, but too quiet for anyone else to hear me. Any louder and I wouldn’t be able to refrain from yelling.

‘Why did it have to be you, Blondie?’

Sarah blinked. “I…I just thought—”

“Fuck, Sarah.” I ran my hands down my face. “There’s a specific reason I haven’t mentioned any of my family and…” I couldn’t look at her. If I did, I know I’d scream something I’d definitely regret later. There was a part of me that just wished she hadn’t told me, but at least I knew how that woman had found me.

I stood up abruptly, almost robotically. “I have to go.”

“B-but—”

“If I don’t leave your vicinity right now, I’m going to lose it.” My chest had tightened to a kind of pain where it felt like someone was crushing my heart in their fist. At the moment, that person’s fist was Sarah’s; even if she was completely oblivious to it.

“Please. Don’t contact me. Not now.”

And with that, I calmly left the Monarch and walked the entire way home. I felt numb, as if someone was controlling me just to walk in the only direction I knew to go. As soon as I slammed the door behind me, my knees buckled and I crumpled to the ground. My chest heaved as tears streamed down my cheeks and I cried.

The worst part was that I couldn’t tell her why I didn’t want my mother here, unless I was prepared to reveal so much more about myself than I’d never shared with anyone since I first got here. I wasn’t ready for that, even if it had been 10 years. What if I drove everyone I knew away? What if they accused me of lying and left me? I couldn’t handle that kind of rejection from the people I had grown to love so dearly.

After this, I was ready to close myself up and break off contact with everyone I knew out of fear of being physically found by any of my family. The thought of moving and changing my entire identity crossed my mind but I quickly shook it away. I’d worked hard to rebuild myself into the person I’d become over the last 10 years. I had friends and a boyfriend who loved me just as much as I loved them. I’d have people who would miss me.

It was different this time.

My brain had just about shut down as the tears ran out and my breathing had been forced back to its regular state. I didn’t even remember moving to my couch or picking up my guitar, nor did I remember beginning the plucking of a tune. But I knew the words, so I let my brain rest and reached into my heart instead.

“Help. I have done it again.”

I let my eyes close, the tears started to fall freely again. My throat was closing up, but I didn’t care. I kept singing.

“I have been here many times before.”

With a shake of my head, I sang. “Hurt myself again today.”

I opened my eyes momentarily to look at my fingers, even though I already knew the chords. Sia was one fo the first artists I listened to, and she was one of the main artists who got me into singing. ‘Breathe Me’ was the first song of hers I learnt on guitar.

“And the worst part is there's no one else to blame.”

A sob tore its way through my throat, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. The chorus had to be sung. For my heart’s sake, I needed to let this out.

“Be my friend.”

I shut my eyes tightly. My mother, Maria. She was here because of Sarah. Dear, sweet Sarah. Innocent, stupid Sarah.

“Hold me, wrap me up.”

Why her? Why did she have to be the one to try and reconnect family ties? I just wished she’d left them broken and scattered, like they’d been for the last 10 years.

“Unfold me, I am small.”

If there was one person I needed right now, it was Dan. I needed to hold him, have him whisper sweet nothings to me as I cried in his arms, kiss him all over his gorgeous face. I just needed him here, with me.

“I’m needy, warm me up.”

I stopped short when there was a soft knock at the door. Sarah knew better than to try and approach me now, so that answered that question. But what if it was Maria? What if Sarah had also told her where I lived? I placed my guitar down and walked over to the door, giving myself a second to wipe the remaining tears away before opening the door.

There he stood, a bouquet of roses in one hand and an overnight bag in the other. His hair was pulled back in a ponytail but he still looked as handsome as ever, donning a white jacket, a The Last Unicorn t-shirt and jeans, as well as his casual joggers. He smiled softly at me, though his eyes looked full of concern.

He whispered the last line:

“And breathe me.”

My breath hitched and I quickly pulled him in for a soul crushing kiss. A kiss of yearning, of longing, of missing. He returned it immediately, stepping in and flicking the door shut behind him. A clashing of tongue and teeth; definitely not a kiss that was slow. This one was heated, and it would only fire up if we didn’t stop now.

The bag fell to the ground with a bang as I reluctantly pulled back, Dan obviously having lost his grip to hold my waist instead. He panted, moving his hand to caress my cheek.

He whispered. “Hey.”

Tears of joy sprang into my eyes as I ran my hands over his cheeks. “Hi.”

“I, um…” He stepped away slightly and brought the roses up to my line of view. “I…didn’t know…what flowers…so I kinda just…went with what matched your hair…”

My heart bloomed and I took the bouquet from him, pressing another kiss to his lips. “I love them. Thank you.”

I finally stepped away and went into the kitchen to find a vase to put them in. “I didn’t realise you’d be here this early.”

“Well I wanted to surprise you,” He took a seat on the couch, “Which I think I was successful in doing. Though I must say I think you sound better than Sia.”

A snort escaped my nose as I filled up the vase with water. “I could never sound better than that woman. She’s incredible.”

“She sure is.”

I placed the vase of roses near the kitchen window, knowing they’d get the morning light when the sun came up. I walked over towards Dan and absentmindedly went to the TV to turn it on.

“I saw her back in 2007,” Dan continued, causing me to turn to him. “And I gave her a Skyhill CD before the performance. She said she liked it. Hands On the Water especially.” He shook his head with a smile. “I’ll never forget that day. Such an awesome person.”

Dan’s gaze flicked up to me and he grinned. “Speaking of incredible…”

Before I could react, he reached forward and tugged me towards him by the hem of my dress. I squeaked as I fell into the gap between his open legs; but he caught me and hugged me to him, my back pressed against his chest. He moved my hair away from my neck and pressed delicate kisses to my skin. My head fell back to his shoulder and my hand closed over his pressed against my stomach.

“You look gorgeous.” He hummed.

I sighed. “I was sure it’d be a wasted look, but I’m glad it’s not.”

He inhaled deeply and if I was standing, I was sure my knees would have gave out. “God, I missed you.”

Using this short moment of clarity to my advantage, I turned myself around and shifted so I was sitting on his now closed lap; knees either side and arms around his neck. His arms rested on my thighs, slowly running up and down my flesh. Goosebumps littered my skin as with each stroke, he ventured a slight bit higher.

I embraced him, pressing my chest against his and giving the skin by his pulse point a small nip. He responded by tightening his arms around me, only for a split second, and I couldn’t help but fully relax into him. “I missed you, too.”

And finally, my heart could feel free again.


	22. Chapter 22

Waking up in Dan’s arms was definitely the highlight of the morning; even if I was pretty much draped over the top of him. Our hair was in disarray, the bedroom looked like a hurricane had swept through and our bodies glowed in the morning sun.

At least, his did.

When I was more awake, I lazily straddled Dan and leant down to press kisses all over his face. He awoke with a sleepy giggle, pinching my hips and causing me to let out a surprised squeak.

“What are you doing up so early, hm?” He mumbled, not having opened his eyes yet.

I thread my fingers through his hair. “It’s literally 9am.”

“Yeah. Early.” He snaked his arms around my waist and tightened them, forcing me to stay chest to chest with him. It was one of my favourite feelings; our bare skin pressed against each other. It made me feel even closer to him than I already was.

He opened his eyes a peak, a grin on his lips. “Hey there.”

“Hi.” I grinned back, going back to kissing random places on his face. He giggled again, louder this time.

“God, you’re just the cutest little thing.”

I nipped his nose, wickedly grinning at his surprised reaction. Before I could register the mischievous gleam in his eye, he leant up and licked a stripe up my cheek. I had a weird sense of deja vu hit me as I jerked my head back, but his arms around my waist kept me pressed against him. I whined as he began laughing.

“Dan! Really? Again?”

“I couldn’t help it!” He said, wiping his saliva off my face. “You’re just too darn adorable.”

The knock at the front door caused both Dan and I to freeze our movements and stare at each other. Quickly, I pushed myself from his chest to get up, but he wasn’t letting me go.

“Dan!”

“Nup. They can come back. I haven’t seen you in a month.” His voice dropped to a seductive growl. “You’re mine.”

I whined, both from his unfair attempt to seduce me and his stubbornness in not releasing me. “It’s probably no one. Just let me go tell ‘em to get lost.”

Dan grinned as the knock came again. “Coming!” I yelled out, rolling off Dan once he finally let me go. I scrambled around the room and put on the first shirt I could find, as well as my pyjama shorts, before dashing to the door and opening.

My brows furrowed. “Rick?”

He swivelled around and let out a relieved sigh. “Amber! Hey!” He stepped forward and captured me in a hug, catching me by surprise.

“Hey, buddy…” I pat his back awkwardly. “What’cha doin’ here?”

He pulled away. “I came because I heard—” He cut himself of, cocking an eyebrow once he looked at me. “What are you wearing?”

I looked down, a surge of horror going through me when I realised I’d picked up Dan’s The Last Unicorn shirt instead of my own. I looked back up at him, trying my best to give a nonchalant shrug.

“A shirt?”

“The Last Unicorn?” Rick mumbled. Then he froze, took a couple of whiffs, paused, then leant towards me and took a deep one. “You smell like a boy.”

“Ambs? Have you seen my…”

I pressed my lips together, watching Rick’s face once he made eye contact with the man behind me. He opened his mouth, but I quickly placed my hand over it before he could speak.

“We’ll be just a moment, babe,” I said, turning to give Dan an apologetic smile before ushering Ricky further back so I could step outside and close the door behind me.

“Who was that?” Ricky asked, pointing to the door.

“That’s Dan. Now what’s going on—”

“Why have you never mentioned a ‘Dan’ before?”

“Since when were you the one investigating me? It’ll have to be a helluva good reason for me to barge in on you and Jamie.” I countered, crossing my arms.

Rick gasped dramatically. “Is he your boyfriend?”

“Seriously, Rick. Why are you here?” I was starting to get annoyed, and I knew Rick could tell.

“Right, yes. I just came by to say I’m sorry.”

I blinked. Definitely not what I was expecting him to say. “What for?”

He looked down to his fingers as he began to fidget. “Sarah called me.”

With a sigh, I looked to my feet. Anywhere was better than his eyes at that moment. “I really don’t wanna talk about it.”

“I want you to know I’ll do whatever I can to make sure that woman stays away from here.” The tone in his voice was nothing but genuine and I felt a small smile on my lips. I gave him a small, appreciative nod.

“Thanks, Rick. Now, can I…?” I gestured to my door with my thumb.

“Oh! Yeah! Sure. I…yeah. I’ll see you later.” Rick clapped his hands together before awkwardly walking away. I watched him with an amused smirk before heading back inside.

“Any particular reason you decided to steal my shirt?” Dan asked as I closed the door behind me. I followed his voice to the kitchen, where he pushed a mug of coffee toward me with a smirk.

I chuckled. “Any excuse to see you with less clothes is a win in my book.”

His eyes danced over every inch of my body and I refrained from cowering away, instead puffing out my chest slightly. He groaned.

“Can you just wear that shirt and nothing else? For, like…ever?”

“What, this old thing?” I lifted it up by the hem and pretended to examine it. “Bah. Probably looks better on someone else.”

“That is most definitely a negative.” Dan responded, winking as he took a sip of his tea. He then looked at his watch, his eyebrows shooting up. “Oh fuck.”

“What?”

“We need to get ready.” Dan placed his mug down and walked to me. “I have to be at the venue in an hour and a half.”

I furrowed my brows. “Wait, the performance is today?”

“Shit.” Danny sighed, running his hands through his hair. “I totally understand if you can’t come to warmups or—”

“It’s all good.” I smiled. “I’ll sort it out. You get ready, I’ll be there in a sec.”

The relief on his face said it all and he bent down to kiss me chastely before heading off to get dressed. I called Vee and told her I couldn’t come in to my shift today, and she was very understanding.

“Just make sure to take plenty of pictures, honey.” She said, to which I laughed.

“I’ll just bring him in for breakfast while he’s here, instead.”

“Well of course; I thought that was a given.” Vee quipped back. “But take pictures as well!”

As soon as I’d hung up, I made my way to my bedroom to get dressed in some nice clothes. Meanwhile, I could hear Dan singing ‘Living On A Prayer’ by Bon Jovi in the shower and even found myself harmonising quietly with him as I did my makeup in front of my full length mirror.

I decided to try something completely different to my usual warm coloured style and instead went for cooler, darker colours. Since I didn’t have any printed t-shirts, I just wore Dan’s and tucked the front into my dark navy jeans. After putting on some purple eye makeup and deciding last minute to put my hair in high pigtails, I stepped back to examine and almost burst out laughing.

“MCR called,” I muttered to my reflection, “They want their style back.”

“Whoa, we’re halfway there. Whoa! Livin’ on a pra—”

Dan froze when he walked in and made eye contact with my reflection in the mirror. He was dressed in a casual shirt and jeans, hair in a towel on top of his head. He blinked a couple times as I turned around to look at him.

“Different, right?” I chuckled. “Thought it might help me fit in with your audience more, rather than stick out like a sore hippy thumb.”

He sighed as he walked towards me. “How the fuck am I gonna keep myself under control when you’re out here looking like this?” He lightly grasped my pigtails and dragged his hands down the length of my hair, groaning softly. “Especially with these.”

I fluttered my eyelashes at him. “You like ‘em?”

He nodded and I watched his face redden with glee. He was getting flushed. I waited a moment to enjoy it before tilting my head at him.

“Don’t we have a venue to get to?”

Dan nodded, still kind of in some sort of trance. “Right. Yeah. I, uh…Uber’s been called and, um…” He cleared his throat. “You’re wearing my shirt?”

Suddenly, I felt self conscious. “Oh, do you not want me to? I can try and find something else—”

“Please don’t.” He whispered.

I grinned at him, giving him a peck on the cheek before going over and grabbing his bag. “We should go, babe.”

He pointed at me, finally appearing to break out of whatever trance he’d been in. He took the towel off his head, shaking the excess water and flicking it everywhere; including onto my face. “That…is exactly what I was gonna say.”

The Uber arrived soon after and we both hopped in the back seat of the car. For the hour-long trip, Dan and the driver made polite conversation while I kept my gaze on the view outside. I rarely went into the main city of New Jersey; I never really had any reason to. Yet strangely enough, I still felt like I knew the place like the back of my hand.

We pulled up around the back of the venue and paid the driver as we got out. Dan quickly ushered us inside, taking note of the few early birds who were already starting to line up.

Dan lead the way through, me following close behind as he steered himself to the main stage. There, already waiting, was Brian, the members of TWRP and another man I hadn’t met yet.

“You took your time.” Brian said as Dan walked on stage. Meanwhile, I stayed in the wings and gave Dan an encouraging smile when he winked at me.

“I was an hour north.” Dan countered. ”And it’s before noon. I call that a victory.”

The next seven hours were spent watching the boys do their rehearsals, listening to sound checks, watching the lighting checks and then relax in Dan's dressing room while the crowd filtered in. I'd been alone in the room for the duration of the QNA session, which was about an hour. As soon as he came back, we made out for a good 10 minutes on the sofa provided before sitting in silence for the remaining time he had until hair and makeup would come in to get him.

“I should go join the line, I guess.” I sighed, moving to get off his legs. Even though the sofa was a two seater, Dan had pulled me into his lap as soon as he came in and trapped me there before I could protest. 

He whined softly and snaked his arm around my waist, pulling me back onto his legs. “We’ll sneak you in later. Just…hang here for a little longer.”

There was a knock at his dressing room door, followed by Brian opening the door. “Dan. The makeup guys are ready.” He looked at me with a soft smile. “Hey Amber.”

I returned Brian’s smile as Dan groaned behind me. I turned to him with a sigh. “Stop being a baby, baby. I’ll see you soon.”

I gave his cheek a quick peck, though he quickly captured my lips in a burning kiss that felt like it set my heart alight. When he pulled away, I had to take a moment to recover before I ruffled his hair affectionately and got up, leaving his dressing room and walking to one of the guys I’d met earlier.

“Hey, JP.” I called out. He looked up from his tablet and smiled at me as I walked over. “How should I go about finding my seat?”

“Oh, right.” He pointed to a nearby door. “That door leads you to the stairs going up to the balcony. Then when it's over, just follow the crowd out and head around to the back of the venue. I’ll be waiting outside for ya.”

“Easy peasy.” I smiled. “Thanks so much.”

“Anytime. Enjoy the show.” He grinned again, before going back to whatever he was doing on his iPad. Important tech stuff, probably.

I managed to sneak onto the balcony part while TWRP were performing their last song. When they were finished and they walked off, it was electrifying hearing the audience go wild. They were screaming and laughing and calling out for the Ninja Sex Party boys.

One of the girls next to me pointed at my shirt. “Last Unicorn fan?”

I glanced down at my shirt. “Ah…yeah. It’s a good book. Movie, too.”

She grinned at me and turned her gaze back to the stage. “Danny would love you.”

‘Oh, if only you knew…’

Then, soon after, the lights dimmed. The crowd quietened slightly, until 6 silhouettes made their way on stage. I watched Danny and his poofy hair stand in front of the microphone, Brian in front of his keyboard, and the TWRP boys in their respective places. They began playing their theme song and I grinned.

When the lights came on, my jaw dropped.

Everyone went wild. Brian in his ninja suit was certainly a sight to see. But Dan…his hair was teased, there was a noticeable line of eyeliner around his eyes, and his outfit…head to toe in spandex with his chest hair very visible.

“Isn’t he gorgeous?” The girl from earlier sighed, before chanting along to the lyrics he sang.

“He sure is.” I agreed quietly, watching him in awe.

The show went by rapidly as they performed song after song with little comedy sketches in between. There was one point where I’d caught Dan’s eye and he winked at me. The girl next to me screamed in delight.

“Danny just winked at me!” She cried. Then, she looked at me and slung her arm around my neck, grinning widely. “Scratch that. He winked at us, girl!”

I laughed along with her and let her enjoy the moment she was having. He obviously meant a lot to tons of people who he’d never met, and it was so strange seeing their reactions in person. Even being dragged into one. 

When the show was over, I did what JP said and followed the crowd into the main street. The girl, who I’d learned was named Gemma, waved me off as she left. I waited until most of the people had filtered out before making my way around the back.

I found him waiting by the back door with his hands in his pockets, smiling once he saw me. Once I reached him, he opened the door and lead the way inside.

“How’d you like the show?”

“It was amazing.” I said with a grin. “Those guys are only gonna get bigger as time goes on, for sure.”

We reached Dan’s dressing room and JP knocked on the closed door, giving me a wink before leaving me alone. It was only moments later when Dan answered, still in his spandex getup, grinning like a child on Christmas. I barely opened my mouth to speak when he captured me in his embrace, pressing his lips to mine. I happily returned his kiss, grasping his teased hair and tugging gently. He groaned deliciously and I broke away to catch my breath with a smile.

“You were amazing, baby.” I panted, running my hands over the spandex.

“Yeah?” He hummed in a low tone, running his hands up and down my sides. “You liked it?”

“I loved it.” I hugged him around the torso, resting my chin on his shoulder. “You all were absolutely electric. The audience was nuts, too.” I pulled away with a smirk. “The girl next to me was a bundle of fun.”

Dan tilted his head. “Oh?”

“Well she complimented me on my shirt,” Danny smirked, “Then she called you gorgeous,” His smile softened, “And then she got so excited when you winked that she said you winked at the both of us.”

He laughed at that. “Well hey. If it makes her happy, then sure. I winked at both of you.”

I shrugged. “Fine by me.”

Dan stopped for a moment, just taking his time with looking at me, before he sighed. “You wanna call it a night? Head up to my hotel room for the evening and head back to Gern tomorrow?”

The thought alone made a grin form on my face. “Sounds good to me.”

“Oh, and uh…” He twirled the hair from one of my pigtails and I tilted my head at him. “Would you mind…keeping these in just a little longer?”

My heart did a flip. “You really like 'em, huh?”

Dan sighed, though their was a slight groan that hitched in his throat. “I think I like them a little too much.”

Unable to stop the grin from forming on my face, I glided my fingertips over his spandex-covered torso. “Only if you keep this on a little longer.”

He grinned wickedly at me. “Fan of the spandex?”

I licked my lips, looking up into his eyes with a smirk.

“More than I’d like to admit.”


	23. Chapter 23

“Hey Amber?”

“Hm?”

“Do I rock these or what?”

Dan stepped into the living room and I burst out laughing. He’d put his hair into two puffy pigtails that sat just above his ears and he wore a wide, goofy grin that only made me laugh harder.

“Honestly?” I sniggered, “You look like a poodle.”

He fist pumped the sky in victory before walking over and settling down next to me on the couch. I was strumming the chords for one of the songs I’d be playing later that night when Dan put his hair in a ponytail and nuzzled into my shoulder, hugging me loosely around my waist.

I tilted my head at him. “Tired, baby?”

He hummed softly. “Just gonna…rest my eyes for 5 minutes…”

That morning had been a relatively calm one. We’d both woken up late and checked out of the hotel, went out to get some breakfast in a cafe situated at the end of a dingy looking alleyway, strolled around the city for a little bit and then caught an Uber back to mine. Dan said he’d be staying only for a week, but Brent had text me that morning saying I’d need to come back to Los Angeles soon to start working things out for my debut E.P. so I wasn’t worried about having too much time apart.

Strangely enough, I’d also gotten my first recognition on the street. As Dan and I were walking, a boy we were walking in the direction of pointed at me with a quizzical gaze. He looked to be in his early teens; he had a small stature, jet black hair, an emo aesthetic and an eyebrow piercing.

“Are…you Amber Thill?” The boy had asked.

I had been so taken aback that I couldn’t find any words, so I just nodded. The smile on his face spoke volumes and he nervously mumbled, “I…I really like your music. Can w-we take a picture.”

He passed Dan his phone and stood next to me, and I was so overcome with surprise and happiness that I couldn’t hold back from hugging the boy. I was relieved when I heard him laugh and felt him hug me back. Dan smiled as he took the photo and I asked the boy for his name.

“Oh!” He had seemed surprised that I’d asked. “I-I’m Connor.”

“It was awesome to meet you, Connor.” I smiled. “Have a good day, yeah?”

“Y-yeah! Y-you too!” He stammered with a grin so big I wouldn’t have been surprised if his cheeks split open. As he walked off, I looked to find Dan grinning at me.

“What?”

“You know you’ve just made that boy’s entire year, right?” He’d said.

“Well good! He just made mine!” I laughed back, before we continued on our morning walk.

As I was strumming, now a different tune, I could hear Dan’s gentle breathing beside me. I smiled down at him.

“Just like fireflies.” I watched him stir slightly, even smiling a little at the familiarity of the tune. “Briefly held, meant to be let go. Somewhere in the night…the words you spoke will always light an echo in my mind…”

Dan’s eyes opened slowly and he smiled, reaching up to caress my cheek. I closed my eyes with a sigh, leaning into his hand. “A last goodbye, one breath within our ever-shifting lives…the vast divided skies were meant to fly…”

He sighed heavily, eyes glazed over from sleep. “I love you.”

Hearing him say those three words would always make my heart flutter with happiness. I leant down and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I love you, too.”

It soon came time for us to head off to the Monarch, so I got dressed into different clothes that were more my style and Dan changed his outfit as well, putting on a button up instead of a regular t-shirt and a pair of dress shoes instead of his sneakers.

“Whoa; hold up there, buster!” I pointed at his shirt. “You have other kinds of shirts?!”

Dan rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. “Is this how I’m gonna be treated for dressing up a little to see my lady perform in front of a crowd?”

“Well considering the crowd is the same people I’ve been performing in front of for the last decade or so, in a crumby lounge in a town of just under a thousand residents…” My train of thought trailed off as I undid a couple of his top buttons with a grin. “That’s better.”

Cocking his brow, Dan undid another button and I bit my lip. He tilted his head and smirked. “Should I go another?”

I tore my gaze away and walked to the door. “Don’t tempt me.”

We walked to the lounge together, hand in hand, watching the sunset turn the sky a cotton candy pink. I sighed contently, taking my hand from his and slipping my arm around his waist.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy in my life.” I said, leaning into him. “After years of chaos, it’s like…everything’s finally calm.”

“Years of chaos, huh?” Dan hugged me around the shoulders. “In a little town like this? Seems unlikely.”

It was only at his question that I realised the words had just slipped out. Not that it seemed to matter, since he hadn’t pushed further with it.

As we passed by Vee’s Diner, I saw that the lights were still on and a short figure was roaming about inside. I squeezed Dan’s waist to get his attention before pointing over at the diner.

“I told Vee she’d get to meet you.” I said quietly, letting him go and leading the way inside.

“Sorry, dear; we’re closed…” Vee said instinctually at the sound of the door creaking open.

“That’s quite rude of you to say right off the bat.” I joked, grinning as she whipped her head around to me. Her eyes lit up and I smiled softly. “Especially when you said you wanted to see us.”

For a woman going on 60, Vee still had the energy of a child. She skipped over to me and hugged me tightly; stretching up to her tip toes to reach my height.

“I thought you said you’d be here for breakfast!” She exclaimed as she pulled away from me, holding my hands in hers.

She always was like a mother to me.

“I stayed in the city for the night…with Danny.” I turned to look at Dan. “Dan, this is Vee.”

Vee gasped and walked to Danny, grasping his hand in hers and giving it a gentle shake. “It’s an absolute pleasure to meet you, my dear.”

Dan grinned down at the woman before him and nodded. “Same with you.”

I looked at Vee as she turned to me and her eyes widened minutely; it was her code that she wanted to talk to me alone. My eyes shifted to Dan’s kind face. “I’ll meet you over at the Monarch, okay? Vee and I just need to catch up for a sec.”

“Yeah of course.” Dan nodded understandingly and bowed slightly at Vee. “Lovely meeting you, Vee.”

“You too, sweetie.” She smiled at him, patting his hand softly a couple times before he left. When he was gone, Vee sighed happily and turned back to look at me. “Not that you need an old lady’s approval for a boyfriend but he’s such a good catch.”

“Why do you say that like you think your opinion doesn’t matter?” I pouted, walking closer to her. “You know how important your thoughts are to me.”

“I know sweetie.” She smiled softly at me. “I can just tell he makes you really happy. And you deserve that. More than anyone.”

I felt tears spring into my eyes at her words. She knew me better than anyone in this town, including where I came from. She knew how I wound up here, so hearing that from her meant more to me than anything in the world.

“Thank you.” I sniffled.

“Oh, darling.” Vee smiled up at me, wiping the tears that had slipped down my cheeks. “It’s the least you deserve. Now go sing your heart out.”

Ever since my starting days, I always wished for Vee to attend one of my gigs. But she hated the atmosphere of a lounge; not that I could blame her.

I gave her cheek a kiss and whispered a goodbye as I walked over to the lounge and winked at Bruiser as I came in. I found Dan sitting at the bar and walked over to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck from behind and kissed behind the shell of his ear and heard him chuckle softly.

“That wouldn’t be my gorgeous girlfriend now, would it?”

“It may be.” I grinned, pulling away as he turned to look at me. “I’ll need to head on stage now, but afterwards we can hang here for a bit before going home, if you want?”

“Sure thing.” He nodded. “See you after.”

“See you then.” I nodded. I leant in and pressed a kiss to his lips before making my way toward the stage. People began to filter in as I set myself up and when I caught Bruiser’s eye, he gestured to Dan before giving me a thumbs up. I rolled my eyes with a smile before strumming the G-note to begin my set.

The first three songs went by quickly, with more people filtering into the lounge as time went on. By the time I’d finished the third song, the lounge was practically packed with people sitting at the seats, at the bar and around the edges of the room. The Monarch very rarely had a full house.

In fact, it had never been this packed.

“Thank you all very much for coming along.” I said, tuning my strings. “This last song is from a classic band. You all know ‘em. The Bee Gees.” I grinned when Dan hollered from the bar. “Thanks, babe. No, this isn’t Stayin' Alive; though one day I’ll perform that for you guys. Only after I’ve had a lot of lemontinis.”

The crowd laughed as I finished tuning my strings. “This is their song: I Started A Joke.”

I nodded the count down in my head, before beginning to strum the chords. I closed my eyes, crossing my right leg over my left and moving my foot to the beat.

“I started a joke,” I smiled softly at some members in the crowd. “Which started the whole world crying.” I looked off to the side dramatically, giving a shrug. “But I didn’t see…”

As I lifted my head to look at Dan, I saw the door to the lounge open behind him and I felt time stop. It was her. She looked older and her hair colour was lighter, but I knew that face anywhere. It haunted me in the deepest pits of my mind where I’d banished the first 16 years of my life. I saw Bruiser’s eyes narrow in her direction, but he did nothing. He had no right to. She hadn’t hurt anyone.

Not physically, at least.

“That the joke was on me.”

I couldn’t look away, and what made it worse was that she didn’t either. She was here, and all my worst nightmares were coming to life. Why now? Why while my friends were here? Why while Dan was here?

“I started to cry,” A tear slipped from my eye as I managed to tear my gaze away from hers. If I looked at her any longer, I knew would break down. “Which started the whole world laughing. Oh, if I’d only seen…”

This time my eyes did find Dan, but he was staring at the woman; who had taken a seat at the other end of the bar. When he looked back to me, a soft smile fell on his face and it felt like a small weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

“That the joke was on me.”

I moved my head to the side, hanging my head and closing my eyes. I took a couple of breaths to try and calm myself, even try to forget she was there. I wish I hadn’t seen her. I wish she hadn’t come.

“I looked at the skies,” My eyes shot open as I looked to the roof; my heart pounding aggressively against my ribcage. “Running my hands, over my eyes.”

“And I fell out of bed,” I brought my focus back to the audience. I was relieved that no one looked concerned for me; obviously they were just thinking I was putting on a performance. “Hurting my head, from things that I said.”

“'Till I finally died,” My gaze landed on Dan again and he blew a kiss to me. Despite everything, I felt the smile on my face, “Which started the whole world living.”

“Oh if I'd only seen…” Like a magnet, my eyes landed on the woman once more and it made me feel nauseous that she’d had her gaze on me the entire time.

“That the joke was on me.”

There was a moment of quiet before the crowd erupted in applause. I tore my eyes away from her to smile at every face I could see. “Thank you guys so much. I’ll see you next week. Stay safe out there.”

Dan quickly made his way to the edge of the stage to greet me when I stepped off. He pulled me into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. I closed my eyes with a sigh.

“You okay?”

I nodded into his chest; though when I opened my eyes, I could see the woman making her way towards us at a leisurely pace. I didn’t look away. I couldn’t; I felt like a deer in her headlights.

When she reached us, she waited a moment — apparently she was expecting me to address her presence — before clearing her throat. Dan pulled away and turned to the source of the sound with surprise.

“May we help you?” Dan asked politely, but she wasn’t listening to him. She was staring at me, a relieved smile on her face.

“Clarissa?”

I winced. It had been so long since I’d heard that name. The memories I’d shoved to the deepest pits of my mind were crawling back into my subconscious and I had no strength to push them back.

“Don’t.” I looked back at her with tears brimming my eyes. “You have no right to call me that name.”

She didn’t seem to notice my coldness toward her, because she reached her hand out to me. “I can’t believe how much you’ve grown.”

“I said don’t.” I flinched away, Dan tucking me under his arm securely. Her attention finally seemed to shift to him and she smiled brightly.

“And who’s this strapping young man?”

“You don’t deserve to know who he is.” I snapped at her, before Dan could be the gentleman he was and introduce himself. “What do you want? Why are you even here?”

“Well, one of your friends called me and told me you were here. And that your name was…Amber?” She laughed, and I felt nausea swirl around in my stomach. “Clarissa suits you so much nicer. And what happened to your hair?” She frowned and shook her head, like a mother scolding her child. "It used to be such a nice blonde.”

But I wasn’t her child. Not anymore.

“I’d really like you to leave. Please.”

The woman had the audacity to scoff at me. “You have no right to speak to your mother that way—”

“Well you had no right to kick me out and make me fend for myself when I was only a kid, but I guess we don’t always get what we want, do we?” I yelled, making the entire lounge go silent. I cowered further into Dan’s side as his hand rubbed my shoulder. I was appreciative of his silence; any words from him would just make things fire up.

Finally, she seemed to be taken aback. Maybe her thick skull was finally realising how trash of a person she was. “Clarissa—”

“I’d really like you to leave, please.” I repeated. My voice was shaking; any strength I had was quickly deteriorating and I needed her gone before I broke down.

Dan squeezed my shoulder in a comforting gesture and I inhaled deeply, gathering every ounce of strength I had left. With a level voice and an emotionless gaze, I said, “If you don’t go willingly, I will have you escorted out.”

She looked at me with desperation. “Y-you can’t do that—!”

“Bruce?” I called out, not being able to take my eyes off her. I saw him approach us from my peripherals and finally tore my gaze away to look at him. “Would you please escort this woman out?” I stared back at her. “She’s making me feel unsafe.”

Her brows furrowed. “Excuse me?”

Bruiser placed his hand on the small of the woman’s back and began directing her toward the exit. “Miss, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“Well, I—” She was stunned, looking from Bruiser with clear disgust to me with confusion. I felt a sob tear through my throat as I turned back to the sweet comfort of Dan’s chest.

He hugged me close to him as I closed my eyes, drowning out everything that was going on around me. I was scared that she would find where I lived and harass me until I spoke to her, but I also felt a tinge of relief that this may finally be over; and that relief was slowly beginning to grow.

“Hey.”

All I could hear was him. I buried my head further into his chest as he rubbed my back. “Wanna go home?”

My heart slammed against my ribcage. I knew what would happen there. I’d have to open up to him. Fully open up to him. About everything.

I nodded as I pulled back, looking to the store to watch my mother storm out while shaking her finger at Bruiser. When I met Dan’s gaze, it was a mix of concern and curiosity. I sighed.

“I have a lot of explaining to do.” I bit my lip. “And we might need to get some more whiskey.”


	24. Chapter 24

Silence.

That’s all that filled the air between Dan and I. There was tension, sure, but not between us per se. More so, it was the lead up to the conversation we were soon to have.

After the fiasco between my mother and I, we went to the bottle shop and purchased a bottle of whiskey before making our way home. We arrived and I wordlessly went into the kitchen and poured Dan some whiskey, popping a few ice cubes in the glass. He gave me a smile and a nod of thanks, taking a small sip.

Meanwhile, I grabbed two double-sized shot glasses and filled them to the brim. I downed them both, gritting my teeth as the second shot stung my throat.

Dan looked up from his drink, startled. “Whoa whoa, easy there.”

I breathed heavily, taking my time. I needed the alcohol to hit before I could even start to explain what had happened back there. I had a lot to cover, including my past.

The thought of it alone required alcohol.

“I have a lot of ground to cover.” I tried to laugh it off, but the truth was I was terrified. I had technically been lying to Dan; though I hadn’t verbally lied, I had withheld so much of myself from him. It was as good as lying.

“Hey. Look, we don’t have to do this tonight—”

“No.” I shook my head, already feeling a slight buzz in my head. Thank god it was kicking in quickly. “There’s no way we can leave this for another day. Especially when you just heard some random woman call me…” I swallowed. Even now, it was tough to say that name. That dead name.

I inhaled deeply, then began.

“My birth name…is Clarissa Hunter.” I watched Dan’s expression. His eyebrows rose, but only by a minuscule amount. I continued. “I lived in a rundown, shitty part of Brooklyn. I had a mother and an older brother; my dad left us when I was young and my brother moved out when I was 10.”

“Maria and I never had the strongest relationship,” I found myself walking toward the couch, knowing I’d have to sit down eventually. “But she was my family. My only family.”

I paused, watching as Dan silently came down to join me on the couch with his drink. He passed it to me and I took a sip. “Thanks.”

He nodded and gestured for me to continue, so I did.

“During my teen years, I found myself to be attracted to boys…as well as girls. Mostly girls.” I swallowed harshly. “A few weeks before my 16th birthday, I decided to tell my mother about how I was feeling. I thought that maybe saying I still liked guys would take the load off a bit, but it didn’t. She only chose to listen to the fact that I was…”

I paused, letting silence fill the air for only a moment before continuing. “She didn’t give me any time to pack my things. Just told me to get out of her house and never come back.”

I shook my head, closing my eyes and letting the tears fall from my eyes. “I pleaded, Dan. I told her to think about what she was doing but she wouldn’t let me in.” I looked up at him. “I tried to bring myself to lie but…I couldn’t do it, Dan. Not about that. So…” I shrugged. "I was stranded.”

“I had to drop out of school and spend most of that year earning money doing various jobs so that for my 17th birthday, I had enough money to get a plane ticket away. The only one I could afford was to New Jersey.”

Dan handed me a tissue and I took it, blowing my nose and crumpling it in my fist. He placed his hand on my shoulder, a comforting gesture that filled me with the strength to keep going. I inhaled deeply, feeling the alcohol swirling in my head with every passing moment.

“I remember stepping out of the airport and hanging around the city for about two weeks, rationing the little food I could get and sleeping in the alleyways…until one day.” I smiled, the memory coming back to me like a tidal wave. “This sweet couple had found me in one of those alleyways, near where we went for breakfast.”

I shook my head in disbelief. “They offered to take me to their home until I could afford my own place. When I asked where they were going, they told me they were going to their new house in a sweet little suburb up north called Gern.”

Pressing my lips together, I looked up at Dan. “You remember that lady we saw in the diner this morning?”

He nodded slowly. “Vee, right? She owns the diner?”

I nodded, a sad smile on my lips. “Her and her husband were the ones that found me.”

That was the first expression of surprise Dan had shown yet, with his eyes widening and his eyebrows shooting up quickly.

“I remember just bursting into tears when I’d arrived at their house, spilling to them about the last few years of my life.” I sighed, another tear slipping down my cheek. “They were so kind, and they promised me that they would keep me safe. I’d never felt more connected to anyone like I did with them. They felt like the parents I’d always dreamed of having.”

“Vee offered me a waitressing job since her diner was only newly established, and I haven’t left since. I haven’t wanted to. It gets me by and I get to help Vee’s business dreams stay a reality.”

I took a second just to breathe. This was the most I’d ever opened up to anyone, other than Vee and her husband, Gary. But even they didn’t know the full story. Dan was about to.

“I had been settling in when Vee had said that she hadn’t caught my name.” With a shrug, I said, “I didn’t want to be associated with a name that carried a reminder of rejection and the betrayal of my mother, so I made up one.”

A soft smile managed to tilt the corners of my lips upwards. “I always carried the idea that I was a small flame in a time where it only felt like the option was for me to drown. So I made my name Amber, kinda like Ember.” I looked over at Dan. “Thill was just a random word I happened upon on the newspaper one time. There’s no significant meaning to it.”

“It wasn’t until I was 21 that I got my name legally changed, which was pretty hard to do. But in this town, and now to the world, that’s who I am.” I felt Dan squeeze my hand, and I squeezed it back. “And that’s the person I’ve worked hard to be. And there’s no way in hell I’m gonna let that woman take that away from me.”

The last of my tears slipped down my cheeks as I finished. “Clarissa Hunter was gone when her mother kicked her out of the house, and Amber Thill was born the day I flew to Jersey.”

With an exhale, I slumped against the couch. That was it. I’d torn my heart out of my chest and placed it in Dan’s hands. Now I just had to wait for him to keep it, or to squash it in his fist.

“Ambs.” He placed the drink on the coffee table near the couch and turned fully to me. As I turned myself to fully face him, I was preparing myself for it. For him to scold me for lying to him. For him to accuse me of not trusting him. For him to crush my heart in his fist and have him walk out.

His hands cupped my cheeks and he smiled at me. I felt my brows furrow.

This didn’t feel like rejection…

He brought his forehead to mine. “You are the strongest, most amazing person I know.” He whispered, nuzzling his nose against mine. I felt my heart rate pick up. “You struggled with something so incredibly easy to give up on and pushed through. Now you’re here. And…” My breath hitched when I saw the tears in his eyes.

“I have never been more in love with you than I am right now.”

My lip trembled. Was my brain playing tricks on me? Or was my heart not handling the rejection in the correct way? Or could it be…acceptance?

“You…won’t leave?”

Dan’s eyes filled with hurt and I felt my chest tighten. “What would make you think I’d want to leave you?

I laughed, more out of surprise rather than humour. “I…just assumed you’d tell me I’d lied to you. Because I have!”

“No you haven’t.” Dan shook his head. “Your name is Amber Thill. You live in Gern. You perform weekly at your local lounge. You work at the local diner. You were at number 1 on the Independent Artist’s chart a week after your debut single came out. That never happens!” With his thumb, he brushed the tears away from my cheeks. “You haven’t lied about a damn thing.”

I blinked. “But—”

“There is no ‘but’, Amber. You’ve spilled your heart out to me.” He tilted his head and brushed his lips against mine. “Let me give you mine.”

Our lips connected, and it was a kiss unlike anything I’d ever had before. It was two independent hearts beginning to beat as one. It was the expression of openness and love in a way where for the first time in my life, I felt like I could embrace with everything I had. This time, I was the one pouring my heart to him and he was the one accepting it with no hesitance.

He lead the way, holding me close and guiding me toward his heart. When his lips parted, our tongues clashed; tangling in an intimate dance only they knew how to do. His hand cupped the nape of my neck and he drew me in closer while my arms were circled around his neck, holding him in place.

The kiss quickly grew in heat and passion, and most definitely in need. Dan began to stand and I had no choice but to follow, but I wasn’t standing for long when his arms circled my waist and he quietly commanded, “Up.”

I jumped and wrapped my legs around his waist; one of his hands shifted to my back and he held me. For a moment, I couldn’t help but admire the deceiving strength this lanky man held, being able to carry my full weight with such ease. Our lips remained locked as he walked us to my room. He tasted incredibly addicting and I couldn’t have pulled away even if I wanted to.

We separated for only a moment, for Dan to place me on the mattress and rid himself of his clothes. I got rid of my dress and panties and threw them aside, just as Dan climbed on top of me. His breathing was just as heavy as mine as he leant down, nuzzling into my neck. He took a deep breath in and I moaned softly.

“Danny…”

He pulled back, elbows resting on either side of my head; and I watched him as he cast his gaze down to examine every inch of skin he could see. Snaking my arms around his neck, his breath feathered my face as he sighed contently.

“Fuck.” He groaned, his loving eyes coming back up to mine. “You are the most beautiful specimen I’ve ever laid my eyes on.”

My brain barely had any time to react before he began showering my neck in affectionate kisses. I keened into him, arching my back and tugging on his hair. He stifled a moan against my neck and I pulled harder, drawing out a delicious, needy moan from his lips. I yelped when I felt Dan leave a bite on my pulse point, moaning loudly when he soothed the pain with a swipe of his tongue.

“Don’t tease me, baby girl.” Dan growled against my ear, his erection throbbing against my inner thigh.

“I’ll do whatever I like to you.” I groaned back, nibbling softly at his earlobe. Dan’s arms shook slightly beside me, and I took that small window of opportunity to roll us over so I was straddling him. His hands immediately went to my hips, panting as he gazed up at me with doe-eyes.

“You’re so gorgeous.” I sighed, the words rolling off my lips with ease. This man; this powerful yet vulnerable soul laying beneath me, staring up at me with nothing but wonder in his gaze. “Just perfect.”

He thought what I needed was his careful loving onto me, when what I desperately craved was him listening to the immense amount of love I had for him.

I raised myself up, glanced down to line myself up with his cock, then slowly lowered myself down on top of him. Dan’s eyes rolled back, his grip on my hips tightening and definitely leaving marks for me in the morning. I let out a long, shameless moan as we stayed there for a moment, basking in the way our bodies felt like they were made for one another.

“Ambs.” He struggled to keep himself composed, unable to stop a moan from rumbling his throat. I leant forward, pressing my chest against his as I gave him a sloppy, passion-filled kiss with lots of tongue and teeth. Dan took that moment to flip us around so I was on my back again. He fully pulled out, then thrust inside all the way to his hilt. I let out a cry as the feeling of pure ecstasy shot through my veins.

I was addicted to him.

Dan began to pick up a rhythm; slow at first. He gave our bodies the time to revel in the feeling of being connected in the most intimate way. I wrapped my legs around his waist, pushing him even deeper with each thrust. Dan held his lips right by my ear, his short pants fuelling my arousal and drawing a soft groan from my mouth.

“You’re so perfect.” The praises fell from his lips with no hesitation. He gained speed in his thrusts, the sounds of our intimacy filling the room. “So amazing. So fucking…ngh…”

I felt my climax quickly building in my core and my eyes rolled back. Our breaths intermingled as he forced himself up to press his forehead to mine. He looked like he was on the verge of his breaking point, and I definitely wasn’t far off.

“Danny,” I whispered; every ounce of energy I had was being sucked into the explosion that was growing inside. Tears leaked out of the corners of my eyes at the pure intimacy between us. “I…I’m going to…”

“You can let go.” He said, holding on with what little strength he had left. “I’ll catch you.”

So I did.

My orgasm crashed over me; muscles spasming out of my control as my lips parted in a silent cry. A broken moan tore through Dan’s throat as he came with me, his grip on my waist surely leaving more bruises on my skin. He held me close to him and I held him just as close to me, waiting for our bodies to come down from their pleasurable high and join our hearts back on earth.

We both panted heavily as Dan slipped out of me, throwing his body to the space beside me and immediately reaching to me. I rolled to him, letting him cradle me in his loving embrace.

“I love you.” He whispered, pressing his lips to my forehead. “I love you so much.”

I slipped my arms around his torso and he thread his fingers through my hair, one hand stroking my back gently.

“My beautiful girl. So strong…”

And that was what I felt asleep to; Dan’s sweet nothings whispered lovingly against my skin.


	25. Chapter 25

The ringing of my phone startled both Dan and I from our slumber and he groaned in annoyance. I didn’t blame him. I was just as furious.

“Can I chuck that thing out the window?” Dan mumbled, throwing an arm over his eyes.

I pried myself away from him and slipped his shirt on, doing up only a couple of buttons. I reached for my phone. “I swear I’m gonna punch whoever’s on the other li—”

It was Sarah.

Licking my lips, I swallowed the lump in my throat and answered it before I could miss the call.

“A…Amber?”

I looked over at Dan, who was now sitting up on the mattress. He tilted his head in curiosity and I shook my head at him with a smile, silently telling him it was okay. I silently made my way out of the room and closed the door behind me.

“Sarah—”

She sighed in relief. “I know. I know you told me not to contact you but Amber…I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have tried to pry into your family life. That’s none of my business.”

“Yeah, you’re right. It is none of your business.” I agreed, holding no emotion in my voice. “But…you didn’t know. I know you, Sarah. I know you’re the kind of person who wants everyone to be friends and who wants the world to be a happy place.”

I shook my head. “Nothing’s perfect, unfortunately. And worst of all, you’re gonna have to come to accept that really quickly.”

“I know.” Her voice cracked, and I pressed my lips together. “I wish I could take it back. I really do. I just wish we could go back to how it was—”

“Sarah.” I kept my voice level; I had to. “I’ll be okay. I spoke to her myself.”

There was silence for a moment. “You did?”

I nodded, despite her not seeing me. “She came in during the last song of my set.”

“She was there last night?” She sounded horrified. “Oh god, Amber. I’m so sorry—”

“Stop, Sarah.” I shook my head. Hearing her apologise repeatedly only made me feel worse. “I told her what I’ve needed to say to her for the last 10 years.”

My lips twitched into a small smile. “At least now she knows not to bother to try and contact me.”

After a long pause, Sarah whispered hesitantly. “Can you ever forgive me?”

My eyes fluttered shut and I sighed through my nose. “I already have, babycakes.”

Her gasp was full of surprise and it made my heart break, to think that she genuinely thought I’d cast her out of my life. After all she’s done to make me happy and especially with how much she means to me.

“Y-yeah? ’Kay….cool!” Her voice was back to its chipper tone, with a few sniffles thrown in there. “I…gotta go to work now. We’ll talk soon, yeah?”

“For sure.” I smiled. “Try not to stress too much over there, okay?”

“That’s a little hard to do, but I’ll try.” Sarah giggled softly. “Bye Amber.”

“See ya, Blondie.” I replied before hanging up the call.

“You okay?”

I looked up to see a shirtless Dan, leaning against the doorway with a soft smile. The phone hung loosely in my hand as I stood up and made my way to the kitchen.

“I’ve never felt so free.” I admitted, getting out two mugs and a teabag for Dan. I put the kettle on to boil. “It’s like a massive weight is gone from my shoulders and I can finally burn bright like I was destined to do.”

He shook his head with a grin. “You’re such an artist.”

“‘Cause I’m poetic?”

“‘Cause you’re confident in your poetry.” Dan said. “And your voice is killer, too.”

I rolled my eyes. “Like I said, she’s alright for an oldie.”

As I poured the water into Dan’s mug and passed him his beverage, I prepared my coffee. “So, I think a week is plenty of time for us to explore the smallness of Gern.” I took a sip and sighed. Perfect, as always. “We could even head east to a neighbouring town where they—”

“Babe,” Dan cut me off. “I’ve seen all there is to see in Jersey. I lived here once upon a time.”

I nodded slowly. “Gonna be honest, I keep forgetting you lived here.” I traced the rim of my mug after taking another sip. “We could do karaoke again tonight? Or at least you could. I think my throat’s a bit raw from screaming at that dastardly woman yesterday.”

He giggled. “Or we could just stay in and watch movies all day.”

I tapped my chin in thought. “That could work too.”

Dan gave me a grin. “I’m choosing the movie this time.”

Gesturing to the cabinet drawer full of DVDs, I smiled. “Be my guest.”

As I cleaned up our empty mugs, Dan flopped on the couch after choosing a movie. I burst out laughing as soon as it began, recognising the starting scene immediately.

“‘Grease’?”

“Good memories of karaoke.” He replied.

I smiled fondly. Despite being worried at first about being judged by Dan’s work colleagues, I ended up having one of the best nights of my life.

After I was finished cleaning, I walked around to the couch, finding Dan lying across the entire length of it. I placed my hands on my hips.

“You gonna move?”

He shook his head with a cheeky smile. “An old man needs to stretch his limbs every once in a while.”

With a shrug, I sat down on his stomach and gasped when his arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me down on top of him. I sighed.

“You’re not even old.”

He burst out into laughter and hugged me tighter. “I’m old enough to be a dad.”

“And I’m old enough to be a mother.” I rested my head on his chest. “What’s your point?”

“My point is—”

“Shut up! I’m tryna watch the movie!” I hissed, lightly slapping his chest. I squealed when he slapped my ass.

“Don’t try and be sassy with me.”

“I do what I want.” I grumbled stubbornly, hearing Dan’s chuckle reverberate from his chest.

As the movie flowed from scene to scene, I found myself smiling and mouthing along to the songs as they were sung. I’d heard Dan humming to a number of the tunes; I’d snuck a glance up at him to find his eyes closed and a content smile on his lips as he tapped to the rhythm on my skin.

When it got to ‘Hopelessly Devoted’, I couldn’t help the sigh that left my lips. Sandy was one of the first movie characters I had a crush on when I was younger. Even now, more than 15 years since I first saw it, I still felt my heart jump whenever she sang.

“Isn’t she beautiful?” Dan asked softly. A grin stretched my lips at his unprompted question. He obviously knew me better than I thought.

“She’s gorgeous.” I sighed. “Danny doesn’t deserve you, Sandy. I’ll take care of you.”

“Nup. Sorry Sandy.” Dan hugged me tighter and I giggled. “This red-head is mine.”

My eyes fluttered shut as I let Olivia Newton-John’s voice fill my ears. I opened my mouth and very quietly, began to harmonise with her. “You know I'm just a fool, who’s willing…to sit around, and wait for you.”

Dan’s humming reverberated from his chest and I smiled. Mostly because he was humming the harmony I was singing, just an octave lower.

“But baby can't you see…” I propped my chin on his chest, looking at him with a soft smile. His eyes were closed and he was completely relaxed. “There’s nothing else for me to do.”

When he opened his eyes and glanced at me, I reached up and caressed his cheek. ”I’m hopelessly devoted to you.”

There was a short moment of tenderness; nothing but pure love in one another’s gaze. Then, with a surge of adrenaline, I jumped up.

“But now…” I inhaled deeply, before belting out the lines for the chorus without holding back. “There’s no way to hide! Since you pushed my love aside!”

I spun around a few times, falling to my knees dramatically as I cried out to the ceiling. “I’m outta my head…” My eyes were shut tight, one hand reaching to the sky. Basically, I was channelling my inner Freddie Mercury. “Hopelessly devoted to you!”

When I opened my eyes, they instinctually found Dan; who was looking at me with a mix of amusement and wonder. My heart fluttered as I reached to him and there was no hesitation from him to reach for me. “Hopelessly devoted to you.”

He held my hand in his, keeping my gaze as he pressed a gentle kiss to my knuckles. Gently, Dan lured me closer by pulling me towards him until I was kneeling just in front of him.

“Hopelessly devoted, huh?” He said after a moment’s silence, a soft grin on his face.

“Maybe a little bit.” I shrugged, cupping his face in my hands. “Maybe I just like singing alongside Miss Newton-John.”

Dan’s hands rested softly on top of mine, his fingers lightly brushing up and down my own. “I think I like you singing on your own.” He shrugged, his grin widening. “Or duetting with me.”

“With you?” I repeated as my eyebrows rose. I leaned closer, nuzzling our noses together. My heart jumped as I felt his breath feather my lips. “I think I agree.”

I pressed the softest kiss to his lips and giggled when Dan nipped at my bottom lip. “Maybe you could feature on my next song.”

“That would be fun.” Dan hummed as I got up to make another coffee. As I turned on the kettle to reheat, I heard him say from the couch, “Speaking of music…what’s next for you?”

“Brent’s talking about an E.P. to add fuel to the fire we started with ‘Shattered’.” I told him, pouring my coffee in a mug. “That’s gonna take at least a few months to sort out, so I’m gonna have to stay in Los Angeles for longer this time ‘round.”

“And then?”

“Then…” I paused. We hadn’t talked about the next step. We hadn’t even talked about if there was a next step. “Then I come back here until we start working on an original album or something. If the E.P. goes well.”

“Your first single hit the charts, babe.” He said, pausing the film and meeting me in the kitchen. “You’re already gaining a fanbase, and fast.”

There was a moment of silence before Dan dropped his gaze. I brought my mug of coffee to my lips as I watched him. When he looked up at me, he said softly, “Have you thought of…moving to Los Angeles?”

I choked on my coffee, placing the mug back on the bench as I turned my head away to cough. When I looked back to him, I saw nothing but sincerity in his gaze and I furrowed my brows.

“Move…to Los Angeles?” I repeated.

He smiled. “I have the room until you find your own place. If you even want to find your own place.”

“D-Dan—”

“And being in the heart of the entertainment industry will really help boost your popularity.” He added, sliding his fingers down the length of my arms to my hands, where he gave both of them a gentle squeeze.

“It’s not that—”

“And there’s so many more opportunities for you over there.” Dan said quietly, dropping my hands to cup my face.

“Dan.” I grabbed his wrists to get his attention. “I’ve lived here for 10 years. I rebuilt my life here. I’ve made friends here. I have a home here.” I sighed in defeat. “It’s gonna be so hard to give that up.”

“They’ll always be here for you when you come back.” He said softly, tucking my loose hair behind my ear. “Moving away from New Jersey was super tough for me in the beginning, but I knew that I could only grow as a person if I branched out to new places.”

His voice dropped to a whisper. “There’s nowhere else for you to go here. Over there, your flame will grow into a bonfire and everyone will get to see you glow.”

A heavy sigh left my mouth as I dropped my head. The worst part was that he was right. If I wanted to continue living my dream, I would have to leave Gern. I would have to leave Vee and Sarah and Ricky and Bruiser and the audience at the Monarch to pursue the dream I had chase for so long.

I would have to be a little selfish and take the chance that not many got to have.

To my surprise, I found myself nodding as I looked back up at Dan. “Okay.”

He furrowed his brows. “Okay?”

I nodded again, more pronouncedly this time. “I’ll move to Los Angeles.”

Dan’s eyes lit up and his lips split into a wide grin as he wrapped his arms around my waist and picked me up. I squealed, laughing as he began to spin me around.

“Dan! Stop! I’m gonna spew!”

“Yeah, and I think my back’s gonna give out.” He giggled as he placed me down. He captured my lips in a breathtaking kiss; and despite the suddenness of the decision and the limited time between now and then, I knew everything would be okay.

Because even if by some miraculous chance, everything blew up in my face; I knew that I would still have him.


	26. Chapter 26

One week.

That was all the time I had to sort everything out for my move to Los Angeles; but with Dan’s help, I’d found a home for most of my clothes in a local donation bin while the rest were packed into my bags. I wasn’t taking any furniture with me, so that made the packing process a lot easier since I didn’t really have any personal items to worry about. The only thing I had to take was my guitar and a few pictures, and I had all that sorted from the start.

The day after I told Dan that I’d go with him, I gathered five of the most important people in my life at the Monarch and told them what was happening. Ricky slammed his drink down on the bench, Sarah’s jaw was practically on the floor, Ollie looked like he was about to cry and Bruiser wore the biggest grin I’d ever seen him have on his face.

“You’re what?!” Ricky yelled. Thankfully the lounge was empty, since it was closed to the public during the day.

I took a sip of my lemontini as I repeated my words. “I’m moving to Los Angeles.”

“When?” Sarah asked.

“Our flight is Friday morning.” I glanced at each face, a sad smile on my lips. “So this week will be my last Monarch performance.”

“I’ll get the day off.” Sarah said immediately, getting out her phone and walking off.

I looked at Ollie. “The flight’s an early one, so I can only perform one song.”

“That’s alright.” He shook his head with a smile. “God. I just…can’t believe you’re going off to pursue your dream.”

“Me neither.” I admitted, finishing off my drink. “This almost doesn’t feel real.”

Ollie nodded, placing his hand on my shoulder and giving it a squeeze. I placed my hand on top of his and smiled at him. “I’m so proud of you.”

Tears pricked the edges of my eyes but I held them back. “Thank you, Ollie.”

He smiled and gave me a nod before heading off into his office. I turned back to Ricky and he had his arms crossed over his chest.

“I’m super pissed at you.” He said childishly.

“There’s nothing here for me, Rick.” I sighed. “I have an opportunity to do what I’ve always dreamed. I can’t stay here.”

He groaned. “The worst part is you’re a hundred percent right and there’s no way I’d let you stay here. I just…wish there was more time.”

“It’s not like I’ll never come back.” I ruffled his hair with a smile. “Honestly, I’ll probably visit sometime in winter. I can’t resist the snow.”

Ricky then glanced at his watch and leant over to hug me. “I have to go, but I’ll see you Thursday.”

“Yeah.” I rubbed his back before he pulled away. “See you then.”

As he left, Bruiser stepped closer to me and gave my back a comforting pat. “Look’it you. Growing up and fleeing the nest.”

“Who would’a thought?” I smiled up at him. “I’m gonna miss our catch ups.”

“Just means we’ll have more to chat about whenever you get your famous butt over here.” He grinned.

When Sarah had approached us again, Bruiser gave me a wink before walking off. She took a seat next to me at the bar and sighed softly.

“I’ve got the Thursday night off, thank god. To be honest…” She leant slightly closer and lowered her voice. “I would have ditched anyway.”

I smiled at her. “I wish there was a bit more time for us.”

Sarah shook her head. “It’s okay. I’ll gather my holiday hours and come visit. As long as Dan doesn’t mind an extra head under his roof.”

“I’m sure he won’t.” I said, rubbing her upper arm gently. “As long as you mind an extra one under yours when I come here to visit for a bit.”

“I could never mind spending time with you, Ambs.” She said, caressing my cheek. I smiled softly at her, feeling my heart skip a beat.

It wasn’t much longer until she had to go to her job and I still had one important face to say goodbye to.

In fact, she was the most important.

I walked to Vee’s house and softly knocked on the door. She answered with a smile.

“Hey sweetpea! What are you doing here?”

“I…I came to tell you I’m leaving.” I said quietly, scuffing my shoes on the ground. “I’m moving to Los Angeles with Dan. I leave on Friday.”

I needed to get to the point and hold back the tears. Any longer than necessary here and I would tell Dan to go on without me and cancel the move entirely.

Vee nodded, her eyes welling up with tears. “It’s about time.”

I blinked a couple of times, taken back by her response. “What do you—”

“Gern isn’t going anywhere,” She said, “You’ve been given the opportunity of a lifetime. Gern won’t help you take advantage of that.”

Tears fell down my cheeks as I captured her in an embrace that she returned with what I could only describe as a motherly love.

“Thank you, Vee.” I sighed. “For everything.”

“You are so welcome, dear.” She whispered, sniffling softly. “I'm so proud of the woman you’ve grown into. If only Gary could have seen you now…”

I pulled away and wiped Vee’s tears from her cheeks, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll miss you.”

“It’s not like you’re never coming back!” Vee said. “I need to cook you and your man a proper breakfast.”

I laughed softly, wiping my tears away. “It’ll happen.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” Vee winked before I left to go back home.

Before I knew it, Thursday had rolled around. Dan and I had spent the day finalising my packing and getting everything ready for our early start on Friday morning. By the end of it, the house looked pretty much the same except for a few bits here and there that I’d decided to stuff into my bag. When we were done, I’d stepped back and taken in the last look of the house I’d spent the last 10 years in and felt a tear slip down my cheek. Dan stood beside me and pulled me to his side.

“I can’t believe this is it.” I sighed. Dan pressed a kiss to the top of my head.

“You never quite leave your hometown.” He said with a shake of his head. “Not really.”

My heart flourished at his words. He knew every little thing about me and my past, yet he still referred to this place as my hometown. I’d always wished it was ever since I’d arrived here, but hearing someone call it my hometown really felt like it solidified the notion.

“It’s kept me for this long…but I need to move on.” I said, mostly to myself rather than Dan. This was happening whether I was completely ready or not; though deep down, I had known the answer for a long time.

As I looked up at Dan, he smiled down at me. “We’d best go if we want to get to the Monarch on time.”

With a nod, we both exited my house and walked along the familiar path to the Monarch for the very last time. I knew every tree, every pebble, every step off by heart; yet I found myself taking more time than I needed just to soak it all in. Dan patiently walked beside me, holding my hand and gently swinging our arms as we walked.

We ended up taking double the usual amount of time to get there, but I knew that it was worth every second. When we walked in the lounge, every head turned to me and gave a cheer. There weren’t nearly as many people as there had been the last couple of weeks and when I caught Ollie’s eye, Dan and I walked over to him.

“Lost a few people?” I asked once I was close to him.

He shook his head. “I only let the familiars in for this performance.”

I looked around the room and surely enough, every single face I saw I had seen many times before. I even caught Ricky and Sarah sitting near the stage enjoying a drink. I looked back to Ollie. “Do they know? The audience?”

“That this is your last song here?” A sad smile formed on his lips. “They’ve known since you told the rest of us. Thought it’d be special if your last performance was special for them.”

I enveloped Ollie in a tight hug. “Thank you. For everything.”

“I’m so proud of how far you’ve come, Amber.” Ollie said as he pulled away. “Every song you release will be blared in this lounge ’til the cows come home.”

I grinned, glancing up at Dan to link my arm through his before looking back at Ollie. “So I’ll see you ‘round?”

“You betcha.” He grinned, giving Dan a nod. “Keep an eye on this one. She may just deafen you.”

“If her voice is the last thing I get to hear before I lose my hearing forever,” Dan grinned down at me. “Then I’d be the happiest man on earth.”

I rolled my eyes as Ollie laughed. “Such a sap.”

“You best greet your buds over there.” Ollie gestured to the duo at the stage with his head. “You’re on in a few minutes.”

I furrowed my brows up at Dan as Ollie walked away. “Have you even met Ricky and Sarah?”

Dan shook his head. “Don’t think so.”

“Oh my god. Come with me.”

We walked over to the crazy pair and Sarah grinned when she saw me. “Hey Ambs.” Her eyes then drifted over to Dan and I could see her eyes start to shine. “H-hello.”

“I know you.” Ricky pointed at Dan with furrowed brows. “You’re the shirtless guy. At Amber’s house. Dan, right? I’m Ricky. Because I doubt Amber’s told you anything about us.”

I shot a glare at Ricky before glancing up at Dan. I could see the blush on his cheeks at Ricky’s words as he chuckled nervously. “Yeah. That…”

“Oh stop being so mean.” Sarah scolded, standing up and gesturing her hand out for Dan. “I’m Sarah.”

He shook her hand with a grin. “Amber’s told me lots about you.”

“O-oh.” Her entire face reddened and I smiled softly at her. “She has?”

“‘Course I have.” I piped in. She smiled shyly at me. “You’re my fave gal.”

The tapping of fingers on the microphone interrupted us as our heads snapped to Ollie, who was on the stage about to give my introduction. Sarah and Ricky took their seats at the front while Dan and I made our way to the side of the stage.

I felt a swarm of butterflies in my stomach as I watched Ollie talk. What he was saying, I didn’t know. My brain had tuned out everything and focussed my entire body’s energy on the moments I had left in this place.

“You nervous?” Dan whispered. I looked up at him with a smile.

“Isn’t it funny?” I chuckled softly. “This is the only performance where I’ve gotten butterflies.”

He smiled right as I heard Ollie call my name. As if on instinct, I turned to the stage and walked onto it, passing by Ollie as I made my way to the centre.

I took a seat on the stool for the last time, taking a moment to scan the audience I had grown to know so well. So many faces I recognised, despite clear ageing over the years; yet whose names I’d never quite caught. I smiled at them all, though I could feel my chest constricting. I took a breath to try and steady my racing heart.

“How’s it going everyone?” I was answered with a few cheers, though my focus was on the sea of sad smiles. “You all know by now that this is my last time performing for you guys, at least for a little while. And if you didn’t…I’m sorry to be the one to break it to ya.” There were a couple of laughs as I strummed the G-note. “So I thought we should end with a pretty fitting song.”

For the very first time, the room was silent. Silent enough that I could have heard a pin drop if it were to happen. The people at the bar held their drinks steady, while those sitting in the seats in front of me were watching me intently. It was slightly unnerving, since I was used to there being some amount of chatter when I performed. But I supposed since it was my last time performing for them, it was rather fitting.

I began strumming the chords and the audience cheered when they recognised it. I smiled and looked down at the guitar strings. There wasn’t a need to, but I could already feel my eyes beginning to water.

“When are you gonna come down? When are you going to land?” I felt my face heat up, but it wasn’t from blushing. I shut my eyes tightly and forced the tears back. “I should have stayed on the farm, I should have listened to my old man.”

“You know you can't hold me forever, I didn't sign up with you.” I opened my eyes, a grin playing on my lips. “I’m not a present for your friends to open, this boy's too young to be singin’…”

“The blu-u-ues.” Everyone joined in with the chorus and it felt like my heart exploded inside my chest. Having everyone sing along was incredibly heartwarming and I knew right then that this was the moment when my life would change forever.

“So goodbye yellow brick road, where the dogs of society howl.” I shook my head. “You can't plant me in your penthouse, I’m going back to my plough!”

“Back to the howling old owl in the woods, hunting the horny back toad…”

I felt tears slip out and slide down my cheeks, earning a chorus of cheers from the audience. I glanced over at Danny, who was looking at me with adoration in his eyes. His lips stretched into a heartwarming grin and I felt myself smile back at him.

“Oh I’ve finally decided my future lies…”

There was a chorus of cheers and I turned away from him to glance from face to face, feeling a slight stab of guilt from the amount of people who were also getting emotional. Though I couldn’t see their tears, I saw many people wiping under their eyes. It was nice to know they would miss me as much as I would miss them.

“Beyond the yellow brick road.”

As I strummed the last note, there was a moment of silence. Then just like that, the room exploded in noise. Everyone stood to applaud and I felt an overwhelming amount of pride and sadness hit me at once.

I covered my mouth to muffle my sob and in that moment, I couldn’t have closed my eyes even if I wanted to. The crowd continued to cheer while simultaneously wiping their own tears away.

It only just hit me in that moment how far I’d gotten. How one chance encounter with a man at a bar would turn into a roller coaster of emotions. How my life had completely changed; all thanks to one curly headed Jew who sang about his unsuccessfulness in courting women with his ninja partner. How he’d given me the chance to shoot for my dream. How he’d shown me a love that I didn’t know existed. How he’d listened to my story and shown no judgement toward me.

How despite everything I’d doubted in myself, he’d stuck beside me for the whole ride.

As I put the guitar down, I turned to look at Dan and found him fast approaching me. He bent down and enveloped me in a hug, which I returned without hesitation. My body was wracked with sobs and he soothed me, rubbing my back as the crowd continued to cheer. Slowly, I turned and rested my cheek on his shoulder; looking out to the audience again and giving them a grin while my tears fell onto Dan’s shirt.

“You did amazing, baby.” Dan’s voice was muffled in my hair and I felt him press a gentle kiss to my head. I hugged him tighter, unable to find any words to say. I looked at Sarah and watched as she formed a heart with her hands. Next to her, Ricky did the same thing and I almost began sobbing again.

God, I would miss them.

As I began to stand, Danny pulled away from me and stood beside me. He gently cupped my face in his hands and began leaning towards me. I met him halfway and pressed my lips to his with a smile, right as the crowd began to cheer even louder. Not just for me, but for us.

To the next chapter in our ever-shifting lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go! There is the completed story of Amber and Dan!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it! I loved developing Amber's character as I went along and I loved writing Dan as a real big softie hehe.
> 
> I may put out the occasional one shot of these two goofballs at times, but they're not guaranteed and certainly not canon to the main story if/when they're released.
> 
> The next chapter is the Song List, in case you read some lyrics and wondered what the original song sounded like.


	27. Song List

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the song list of each song that was either sung or mentioned throughout the fic (excluding 'Shattered', of course :P)

\- Jenny - Studio Killers  
\- Somebody to Love - Queen  
\- Your Love - The Outfield  
\- Firefly - Skyhill  
\- Kingston Town - UB40  
\- Instant Crush - Daft Punk  
\- You’re the One That I Want - The Beautiful South  
\- Hands On the Water - Skyhill  
\- Return To Sender - Elvis Presley  
\- Kiss From A Rose - Seal  
\- Pure Imagination - Gene Wilder  
\- On Melancholy Hill - Gorillaz  
\- Everytime - Britney Spears  
\- Breathe Me - Sia  
\- I Started A Joke - Bee Gees  
\- Hopelessly Devoted - Olivia Newton-John  
\- Goodbye Yellow Brick Road - Elton John

Spotify Link:  
https://open.spotify.com/user/kyra.diane/playlist/3xppavminhhxDgD3mwfXVM?si=PLI6Hb5wQW2xGshxXxsYUw


End file.
